Helping Dad Stay Independent: The Best Father's Day Gift for an Aging Parent - A...

Helping Dad Stay Independent: The Best Father's Day Gift for an Aging Parent -
A Checklist from Dr. Dan Tobin, Founder and CEO of Care Support of America

NEW YORK, June 10 /PRNewswire/ -- "As our fathers age, they want to remain
independent, not be a burden, and -- no offense -- they usually don't want to
move in with their children," says Dr. Dan Tobin, Founder and CEO of Care
Support of America and a nationally recognized expert on eldercare and family
caregiving. "Helping your Dad safely age at home can be the best gift -- and
the best Father's Day gift -- you can give him, once you notice even small
changes in his ability to get around."

"Remember Men are from Mars? Men do not often express their feelings freely or
at all. So if your father is living alone, it will be harder for you to know
how he is doing," Dr. Tobin says. "The hardest part may be getting your Dad to
open up about practical and emotional issues."

Dr. Tobin advises: "Go slow and steady. Approach one issue at a time. Fathers
may want to appear as if they're always in control, even when things have
begun to slip. Let your Dad know that you are there to help without getting in
his space. In order to assess how he's doing living on his own, here is a
checklist of issues for you to explore with him. Then, if there are problems,
you can address them, and find your father the help he'll need to stay
independent."

Activity and Connectedness

"The most important indicators for wellness in aging are staying physically
active and staying connected to others or to a community. Does your Dad appear
to be slowing down? Is he less mobile? Is he exercising, interacting with his
neighbors, or participating in senior-activity programs? We tend to look away
from physical changes that are important in supporting our Dads."

Housekeeping

"When you visit your father at his home, look around and get a quick reading
on whether he could use help with home repairs or housecleaning. Remember to
think about preventing falls, which cause serious problems as your Dad ages."

Nutrition

"Is your father eating properly? What's in his refrigerator?"

Adaptive Technologies

"Is your Dad's strength or mobility reduced in any way? Would he benefit from,
or even enjoy using, any adaptive devices from low tech to high, such as
kitchen utensils or tools with bigger grips, or a webcam or an e-mail device
for seniors?"

Driving

"Driving may be one of the most difficult issues to discuss. Men almost always
resist the need to stop driving. Your Dad's driving skills need to be
re-assessed in light of vision, responsiveness, hearing, and night vision. If
his driving is restricted, be willing to compromise -- maybe driving only in
the daytime or in familiar places. You can also help in setting him up with
alternative transportation services."

Finances

"If your Dad has not discussed family finances with you before, be aware that
finances can be one of the most personal parts of family dynamics. You can
start by finding out if your Dad's personal finances are in order -- bills,
rent, mortgage, credit cards, taxes, etc. Does he have enough money for
extras? If his budget is stretched, you can try to find free services in his
community. If possible, you can also offer to pay for services such as home
health aides, home repairs, cleaning services, transportation, and
entertainment."

"Often an individualized family plan goes a long way to show your Dad that the
entire family is mobilized around giving him the gift he really, really wants
for Father's Day -- independence and support," Dr. Tobin says.

Family care managers, like Care Support of America, can help, particularly if
you're in a distant city. They can professionally organize a problem list and
assess any pressing issues, including home safety, locating credible home
services, understanding the basic finances of wellness in aging, and how best
for families to support their father's independence.

About Dr. Dan Tobin

Dan Tobin, MD, is Founder and CEO of Care Support of America a national family
care manager service. He is an adjunct assistant professor of psychiatry
(health psychology) at Dartmouth Medical School and the author of books and
articles on eldercare issues and positive solutions to family caregiving
problems.

About Care Support of America

Care Support of America (http://www.caresupportofamerica.com) is an
independent family care manager service that helps identify and solve family
caregiving problems to provide trusted guidance as your parents age. The
service begins with a personal family care manager on the phone, working with
a local nurse, to locate and mobilize trusted home care resources in the
parent's community; help you understand their doctor's treatment plans and
information; help insure that parents remain independent in their home; and
answer questions about Medicare, long-term insurance, and basic finances. Care
Support of America has provided family care manager services in 32 states.

If you would like to speak with Dr. Dan Tobin, please contact Davia Temin,
Christine Summerson, or Trang Mar of Temin and Company at 212-588-8788 or
news@teminandco.com.

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Dan Tobin, MD
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SOURCE Care Support of America

Davia Temin, Christine Summerson, or Trang Mar, all of Temin and Company,
+1-212-588-8788, news@teminandco.com, for Care Support of America