Family meal seen as way to reconnect families

By Tom Hals

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Forget shuttling kids between sports and tutors or enduring a long commute to live near a better school: improving a child's chance of success may be as simple as a regular, leisurely family dinner.

That may seem a quaint throwback, but parents and organizations are rallying around the family dinner and promoting it in fight against over-scheduled lives.

"You have people who are basically workaholics and have lost all their priorities. They have lost all touch with what's important," said Bonnie Michaels, a work-life consultant. "Kids are over-scheduled and over-maxed terribly."

Researchers say piling on kids' activities to impress college admission boards or working late to advance a career cause family connections to suffer.

"Eating together always provided a grounding for family members," said Michaels.

A national study of kids between 3 and 12 found that more meal time at home was the single strongest predictor of better achievement scores, ahead of time studying or in church.

Researchers found a strong link between eating at least five dinners a week with a parent and children who are less likely to use drugs and develop good eating habits.

When Stephanie Lally returned to work as a human resources professional after three years at home she took a job with Texas Roadhouse Inc. partly because the restaurant chain was supportive of her efforts to be at home for a regular dinner with her young daughter.

"When we get together, it's kind of cool that we get the time to share and talk about the day and she tells us about what happened at school," said Lally.

Family meals declined sharply between the 1970s and 1999, but researchers say that trend has been reversing. A UNICEF report last week put America at the bottom among rich nations, with only 65 percent of U.S. 15-year-olds eating the main meal of the day with their parents several times a week. In France, Italy and Russia, the percentage was more than 90 percent.

Teen-agers who have two or fewer family meals weekly are twice as likely to smoke and drink as teens eating five such dinners a week, according to a study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia.

Michaels says brooding teen-agers are not always the easiest dinner companions. "Set up something special and let them have some input. Maybe a Sunday brunch," she recommended.

Experts say the best meals are enjoyed at home with the television off and that children should be encouraged to chat, not badgered to eat broccoli or explain poor grades.

Surveys show parents and kids both want more family dinners, and cite work pressures as the biggest obstacle. However, that may be changing.

More employers offer flexible schedules and compressed workweeks to encourage staff to engage with their kids.

"Management are really starting realize that they don't need to see you to know you're delivering on results," said Stacey Gibson, senior director of work, life and diversity for Bristol-Myers Squibb. "We passionately believe that if employees have happy family lives, that carries over to happy professional lives."