Political Punchlines

One of the upsides to campaign season is the great material it provides our late night comedians. Check out the graph below to see which candidates they’re joking about the most, and scroll down for the best punchlines.

Newt Gingrich

Jay Leno

The beautiful actress Amanda Seyfried is on the show tonight. She's here to promote her new movie, "Gone." It's a film about any chance Newt Gingrich ever had of being president. (Feb 16, 2012)

Conan O'Brien

Newt Gingrich is trying to save his campaign by focusing only on areas where he has the most support. Yeah, so he's mostly focusing on Georgia, Tennessee and Cheesecake Factory. (Feb 9, 2012)

Jimmy Fallon

Newt Gingrich got to feed a panda while he was visiting the San Diego Zoo. He was like, “Look how much this giant animal loves food.” Yeah. The panda said that, not Newt Gingrich. A talking panda. (Feb 15, 2012)

Jimmy Kimmel

Newt Gingrich finished third in Colorado, fourth in Minnesota. and he wasn't even on the ballot in Missouri. But he plans to continue in the race. I don't blame him. Truth be told, there's really no reason for anyone to drop out of the race. if you wind up in fourth place, you become a regular contributor on Fox. (Feb 8, 2012)

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Barack Obama

Conan O'Brien

President Obama is in Los Angeles today hoping to raise millions of dollars. Which may be why I saw him in the audience line this morning at The Price Is Right. “Barack Obama, come on down!” That's what he should do. (Feb 16, 2012)

Stephen Colbert

Folks, I have often warned you that President Obama is an antireligious zealot -- which is surprising since he is also a devout secret Muslim. (Feb 14, 2012)

Jimmy Fallon

During a speech yesterday, President Obama said, "Ask what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and your country will do everything we can to help you succeed." Then he added, "Speaking of jobs, anyone know of a good speechwriter? Because that quote sucked." (Feb 16, 2012)

Jimmy Kimmel

Good news for President Obama today -- his approval rating is up to 50 percent. Only half the country dislikes him. That's good. Apparently his strategy of not being any of the Republican candidates is paying off. (Feb 16, 2012)

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Ron Paul

David Letterman

Last week, President Obama participated in the first-ever completely virtual interview on the social networking site Google+. This week, Ron Paul tried to send an email through a toaster. (Feb 10, 2012)

Jimmy Fallon

Because of large crowds at his campaign events, Mitt Romney will now receive protection from the Secret Service. Not to be outdone, Ron Paul will now receive protection from a mall cop on a Segway. (Feb 7, 2012)

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Mitt Romney

Jay Leno

Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He got an honorary Grammy for best spoken word for being able to speak out of both sides of his mouth at the same time. (Feb 13, 2012)

David Letterman

Mitt Romney, he loves Valentine's Day. Today he sent a dozen long-stemmed red roses to his money. (Feb 13, 2012)

Jimmy Fallon

According to a new poll, 39 percent of voters say the more they know about Romney, the less they like him. Which explains his new campaign slogan, Mitt Romney -- that's it. That's the slogan. (Feb 16, 2012)

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Rick Santorum

David Letterman

Rick Santorum -- it looks like he's running for student council. He has a slogan, the slogan is “fear the sweater vest.” Because he always has the cute little sweater vests on. And it's important, you have got to have a slogan. (Feb 16, 2012)

Conan O'Brien

Rick Santorum picked up an endorsement from the lead singer of the heavy metal band Megadeth. In other words, Santorum is the only candidate who is both pro-life and pro-Megadeth. (Feb 15, 2012)

Jimmy Fallon

Rick Santorum said women might not be suited for military action because their emotions aren't suited for combat. Which would mean only one thing: he has never seen an episode of "The View.” (Feb 13, 2012)

Jimmy Kimmel

Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has been on a roll the last few weeks. He's nipping at Mitt Romney's heels. And of course, when the races get tight, things start to get nasty. The sleeveless sweaters start to come off. (Feb 15, 2012)

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Polititude

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