NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - With her dazzling smile and bobbed haircut copied nationwide, figure skater Dorothy Hamill seemed to be living the American dream -- but in reality she was battling depression and even considered suicide.
Olympic gold medallist figure skater Dorothy Hamill poses in this undated handout. Hamill seemed to be living the American dream as she skated to Olympic gold at the age of 19, but behind the scenes she was suffering from depression. After years of struggling her inner demons, Hamill has gone public with the other side of her life in a memoir, "A Skating Life: My Story," released this week, which she hopes will help others suffering from depression. REUTERS/Joe Viles/FOX/Handout
After years of struggling her inner demons, Hamill has gone public with the other side of her life in a memoir, “A Skating Life: My Story,” released this week, which she hopes will help others suffering from depression.
Hamill, who grew up on the ice and worked tirelessly to win Olympic gold in 1976 at age 19, said her mental state became so bad that she considered suicide on several occasions.
“I have been so lucky, had so many amazing opportunities, a wonderful career, and the last thing I want is sympathy, but it wasn’t all perfect,” Hamill told Reuters in an interview.
“The one time when I really felt (suicide) might be the best way not to have to feel all this stuff, what stopped me was my daughter and the thought of leaving her without someone. I love her so much that a voice of reality appeared.”
Hamill, 51, who was born in Chicago but grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut, began skating at the age of eight, skating on local ponds in her brothers’ oversized skates stuffed with socks and often getting up at 4 a.m. to train.
Her hard work paid off and she was U.S. champion from 1974 through 1976, creating a trademark spin, the “Hamill Camel.”
After her Olympic win a doll was made of her and she went on to perform in skating show which she still does.
PAIN OFF THE ICE
But behind the scenes Hamill said she was painfully shy and suffering from mood swings which got worse over the years, with an inability to get off the couch some days.
She divorced her first husband, singer and actor Dean Paul Martin (the son of the performer Dean Martin) after two years but struggled to come to terms with his death in 1987 when he was killed in a plane crash.
She married Kenneth Forsythe in 1987 and had a daughter, Alexandra, but they divorced 8 years later.
Hamill said she assumed she was down because she was unhappy and overworked and it was only 14 years ago that she realized depression ran in her family and she was diagnosed.
“My parents way of dealing with it was the way a lot of parents did then -- self medicating with alcohol,” she said.
“I naively thought that all I needed was to achieve this dream of mine and life would be perfect but then the rude awakening came. I’ve had the fortune to be able to seek help and to try and be open about it with my daughter.”
She said her daughter, who is 19, also suffers depression.
“She has for several years. She’s been through a lot with the divorce which was very ugly. You can always find a reason but whether there is a catalyst or it just is I don’t know,” she said.
Hamill said skating had been a great outlet for her. She still skates five days a week for a couple of hours a day, or more when working on a show.
“I think I’ll always skate as I love it but I won’t always perform. I love the wind at my face and the peace, smoothness and serenity gliding along the ice gives me,” she said.
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