offer_id,offer_relation,offer_text,min_email,title,msgdate,kid_id,kid_age_y,kid_sex_id,kid_foreign,kid_abuse,kid_special_needs 1,Non-agency facilitator,"I have been informed of a new situation. 11yo girl, no special needs, needs new home due to family siution
Family would prefer an open adoption with letters and pics. If possible they would prefer a family in the state of PA, to avoid the delays caused by ICPC
If you would like more info, please contact me privately.
[name redacted]
",6,11yo girl looking for a new home,11/4/2007 8:45,1,11,2,,,No 2,,"From the [organization redacted] website --grants available toward adoption expenses for special needs children:

CAI-191 This sister and brother born barely a year apart in January and December of 1996, need a home with a stable family ready to help them address some emotional difficulties. This sibling group has suffered after experiencing a disruption with their previous adoptive parents. They have no medical issues. Their agency fees have been reduced. Grant: $8,000
Contact: [name redacted]
Agency: [organization redacted]
Phone: [phone number redacted]",12,disrupted siblings from Latin America,11/16/2007 17:26,2,,2,Yes,,Yes 294,,"From the [organization redacted] website --grants available toward adoption expenses for special needs children:

CAI-191 This sister and brother born barely a year apart in January and December of 1996, need a home with a stable family ready to help them address some emotional difficulties. This sibling group has suffered after experiencing a disruption with their previous adoptive parents. They have no medical issues. Their agency fees have been reduced. Grant: $8,000
Contact: [name redacted]
Agency: [organization redacted]
Phone: [phone number redacted]",12,disrupted siblings from Latin America,11/16/2007 17:26,3,,1,Yes,,Yes 3,Adoptive parent,"We are currently seeking someone for guardianship with the intention to adopt our now 11 yr old EE adopted daughter(adopted at almost 6, she just turned 11 in Nov). She is formally diagnosed FASD/Rad (possible)
She does not tantrum or have aggression issues. She does lie, steal and break things and has other typical rad behaviors. She is fine with other children. I would not trust her alone with babies or younger toddlers who aren't talking yet. She can't be left unsupervise with animals, but she does love horse riding, and enjoys being with animals. She is a very willing worker and is a positive asset to a home that way. She is a girl's girl and loves clothes and dressup, and doing hair etc...She reads about 2nd -3rd grade level, but math escapes her. We finally taught her how to use a calculator. She loves to learn and is very easy to get to do school work, tho she won't remember much of what you taught. We have recently started her on generic ritalin and that does seem to be helping her more annoying behavoirs(like the constant babbling and hyperness)
we are finding ourselves in a position where we are tired of dealing with the behaviors and it is negative impact on her brother(fasd) and our bio son
We are looking for a family familiar with rad/fasd and who have a homestudy. We are not looking for a ton of contact(just too painful for us) but we would like for her 2 brothers to have at least some contact if they would like

I am happy to provide more info to prospective families

I am sending this to you in hopes you can either post to your group or maybe you will know a suitable situation.

Thanks for any help

",19,disruption situation available,12/28/2007 8:22,5,11,2,Yes,,Yes 4,,"10-month-old baby girl with Down syndrome
Baby girl, born Christmas Eve, with Down syndrome, needing special home.
[name redacted] needs a loving family...
There are 3 new situations posted on [organization redacted]. If you are able to provide a loving home for these little ones, please check the link below for more info.
[name redacted]

[website redacted]
",22,10-month-old baby girl with Down syndrome,1/13/2008 11:21,7,0,2,,,Yes 5,,"Hi, I am new to this site. I am seeking someone who is experienced in adopting from disruption. If anyone knows someone that would be interested in adopting a 7-year old little girl, please email me! Thanks, a lot!
",24,Seeking Adoptive Parents,1/14/2008 20:57,8,7,2,,, 6,,"Hi [name redacted], Thanks for posting this. I'm not sure how the adoption would be handled - probably will depend upon the families. We are just trying to help locate a new family before the child's current family turns her over to child welfare. Anyone interested could contact our Vietnam coordinator, [name redacted] at [email redacted] or [name redacted] at [email redacted]. Below is [name redacted]'s letter:
[organization redacted] was recently contacted by a family who adopted a 7 year old girl, [name redacted], from Vietnam in 2002. They would now like to dissolve the adoption and we are trying to locate a possible adoptive family who is knowledgeable and well-prepared for this kind of parenting. [name redacted] is now 13 years old and has experienced significant attachment issues with her adoptive family. She does well in school (with an Individualized Education Plan and modified classes) but displays anger, mistrust and occasional violent outbursts when she in the home of the adoptive family. The family indicates that [name redacted] has Reactive Attachment Disorder but we are unable to find documentation of this diagnosis. A 2006 psychological evaluation listed the following diagnostic impressions:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder Systhymic Disorder Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Acculturation Problems
[name redacted] has been in and out of several residential care facilities but is now living with her adoptive family. The family has urgently sought our help to locate a different adoptive placement. Please contact me if you have any questions or have suggestions about this case.
Sincerely,
[name redacted]

[organization redacted] [phone number redacted] [phone number redacted] Fax [phone number redacted]
Forwarded with Permission

",28,Disruption situation,1/21/2008 20:49,9,13,2,Yes,,Yes 7,Non-agency facilitator,"[name redacted], here's a description and photo, I hope this is good. please let me know what you think. thank you for your support and understanding, this is very difficult for us. thanks [name redacted]
[name redacted] is a very cute almost 12yr. old. She loves animals but can not be trusted by them because she does not very nice things to them. She is a very good reader and likes books but in anger will destroy them. She has been diagnosed as adhd, odd, rad and borders on having a conduct disorder. She takes medication, which is minimally helpful. She could do well at school but her need to control all things gets in the way of completing tasks.
She thrives on causing upheaval she can be very passive aggressive and stare at the other kids till they get mad and yell and then she plays the victim and says what I wasn't doing anything. She has a biological sister that was diagnosed as having fetal alcohol syndrome and we believe [name redacted] has fetal alcohol effects. She has very little cause and effect thinking and can never understand why the other kids don't like her or why she is grounded. She steals and lies non stop and will shoplift if given the chance. She is like a sponge no matter how much love, attention, toys, money or time you give her it is never enough. She has very poor hygiene and has peed on the floor and her clothes when angry. she can not be trusted with shampoo, soap, toothpaste deodorant or anything else she might enjoy pouring down the drain or smearing on the walls and floor. [name redacted] would eat sweets off the floor or out of the garbage. She would eat or drink after any one.
She can be very destructive and has put several holes in her bedroom wall which she has filled with things she has stolen, garbage and clothes. She is very manipulative, calculating and can turn on the tears quicker than anyone.


",29,12 yo Girl needs new home,1/21/2008 20:52,10,11,2,,,Yes 8,,

Note: forwarded message attached.,30,10 yr boy from Ethiopia in US needs Family,1/21/2008 9:24,11,10,1,Yes,,Yes 9,,"Dear Friends,

I have a friend that is seeking to disrupt the adoption of her 13 yr. old daughter, adopted from Ukraine 14 months ago. She does have some issues with RAD/ODD. She would like to maintain some contact, as she adopted the sibling group (of 3). I'm seeking seriously interested persons only and a single child home may be a good 'fit' for this child. If there is a on-line network for this (`disruption',), please direct me to it. If you or someone you know may be interested please have them contact me directly for screening and more information.

Our agency ([organization redacted]) does not perform domestic adoptions, nor are we, this is a friend I'm trying to help. All information is private and confidential.

Thank you,

Sincerely,
[name redacted]
Director
[organization redacted] - [organization redacted]
[organization redacted] - [website redacted]
[phone redacted]



",33,13 yo girl from Ukraine,1/25/2008 20:38,12,13,2,Yes,,Yes 11,Adoptive parent,"My name is [name redacted], a little over a year ago, our family adopted two bio siblings from Russia. We have four bio children already. We choose older children, we had some rough times with attachment issues, but nothing I felt we couldn't handle until recently. We found out that our son has been sexually inappropriate with his sister and our other son. I feel the safest thing to do for our family is t disrupt his adoption. We have four children that are younger than him, and while I know he is sick, and it is possible for him to heal I know this will take a long time. I need to keep my other children safe. If you have any information about the process, or if you know of any families that would be willing to open their hearts to him I would appreciate your help. He is a sweet boy, to find all of this out has broken my heart. He has a great sense of humor though, and is a wonderful artist. We have him on a couple of medications now.
Thanks,
[name redacted]
",35,"Are looking too disrupt, and need help with the process.",1/28/2008 14:08,14,,1,Yes,Both,Yes 12,Non-agency facilitator,"Need to have home study ready
I currently have a 7 yr old Guatemalan boy whom needs to be the youngests he does have RAD but he is in an special Residential treatment placement for RAD and doing very well we need a placement for him when he is discharged. The family is prepared to relinquish. ICPC required for families living outside of Idaho
I also have a sibling group of 2 boys ages 4 and 6. They are from Eastern Europe, and one has Fetal alcohol and both display attachment issues though neither has been formally diagnosed with attachment disorder. ICPC required for families living outside of Georgia
Let me know if you would be interested in either of these cases
[name redacted]
",41,Families needed,2/17/2008 21:14,15,7,1,Yes,,Yes 13,Non-agency facilitator,"Need to have home study ready
I currently have a 7 yr old Guatemalan boy whom needs to be the youngests he does have RAD but he is in an special Residential treatment placement for RAD and doing very well we need a placement for him when he is discharged. The family is prepared to relinquish. ICPC required for families living outside of Idaho
I also have a sibling group of 2 boys ages 4 and 6. They are from Eastern Europe, and one has Fetal alcohol and both display attachment issues though neither has been formally diagnosed with attachment disorder. ICPC required for families living outside of Georgia
Let me know if you would be interested in either of these cases
[name redacted]
",41,Families needed,2/17/2008 21:14,16,4,1,Yes,,Yes 14,Non-agency facilitator,"Need to have home study ready
I currently have a 7 yr old Guatemalan boy whom needs to be the youngests he does have RAD but he is in an special Residential treatment placement for RAD and doing very well we need a placement for him when he is discharged. The family is prepared to relinquish. ICPC required for families living outside of Idaho
I also have a sibling group of 2 boys ages 4 and 6. They are from Eastern Europe, and one has Fetal alcohol and both display attachment issues though neither has been formally diagnosed with attachment disorder. ICPC required for families living outside of Georgia
Let me know if you would be interested in either of these cases
[name redacted]
",41,Families needed,2/17/2008 21:14,17,6,1,Yes,,Yes 15,,"One of the children in the Re-Placement (private adoptions from `disruption',) Program of [organization redacted] is a 7 yr girl in the US with some level of low muscle tone & sensory integration issues. Although just diagnosed with attachment problems, PTSD, etc., she is not under any treatment so far, and is reported to be outstanding academically. She can be seen at [website redacted] ",43,"7 yr girl, US, needs new home",2/21/2008 19:02,18,7,2,,,Yes 16,Non-agency facilitator,"Hi,
I currently have two situations we are seeking families for.
1. 7yr old little boy from Guatemala, he is currently in a RAD residential treatment facility. He is doing very well there, will be discharged this summer and needs a home.
2. 13 yr old girl from Guatemala, has some developmental delays, Mild MR, couple with some RAD issues, needs a home where there are few to no other children and no children close in age to her. She is currently in Respite in a home with a 8 month old and a 2yr old, and she does very well there. She would also do well with children whom were much older than her. She is elgible for SSI, and does have a subsidy. she needs a home in Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin, Kansas, South Dakota, Colorado or Wyoming.
Please let me know if you are interested in either situation.

",52,Families Needed~ Guatemalan Children,3/9/2008 14:29,19,13,2,Yes,,Yes 17,Non-agency facilitator,"We have a family who is looking for a possible rehoming for an 8yo girl. We need a family with a current HS and police clearance. If you are interested, pls email me privately.
[name redacted] [email redacted]
",62,NEEDING HOME FOR AN 8YO,3/26/2008 5:39,20,8,2,,, 18,,"Born in October of 2000 --- this handsome boy, [name redacted] was placed from India a year ago and is obedient and eager to please. His intellectual development seems normal as he has quickly learned English and to read and do math and is very ready for first grade in September. He loves cats, geography, and helping his Dad fix things. However, he needs supervision at all times for his erratic behavior which is indicative of a much younger child. He is emotionally at a much younger age, and often behaves by rote, not really displaying true empathy or understanding of his behavior. He masturbates somewhat compulsively, but has learned to do it in private. [name redacted] was born with bladder extrophy which means he needs to be catherized to urinate. However, his family indicates that this is not an issue as he handles the routine very competently by himself. They would hate to see a family not come forward for him due to this issue. His current family would be happy to talk to a family about this. It is only with great reluctance that the family is disrupting. However, they have three younger children and cannot give him what he needs. A family with children at least two years older than [name redacted] is needed.
Please send inquiries about [name redacted] to both [email redacted]... and [email redacted] to insure our timely response.[organization redacted] is a non-profit adoption agency [website redacted] Thank-you [name redacted] [email redacted]

",64,"disruption no fee, handsome,obedient ,almost 8, boy, loves cats and geography",4/29/2008 10:37,21,7,1,Yes,,Yes 19,Adoptive parent,"A little over 24 months ago, we adopted an African-American girl, [initials redacted], from the foster system. She is a twin. Initially, we were trying to adopt both children, but the twin opted to return to foster care because she cannot function in a family. Since leaving our home, she's been in five placements.
I'm not sure where to begin because on the surface, people this will think I'm cruel and crazy. Sometimes, I feel like I'm mean-spirited for feeling about my daughter as I do because I've tried hard to change my feelings. I'm not bonded to this child, nor is she bonded to me. She's basically a good kid, but struggles with the issues from her past as most former foster children do. It's not that she doesn't function well day-to-day, or that she even presents harsh discipline issues. For the most part, she does well. She receives decent grades in school, participates in extra-curricular activities. She has improved her behavior significantly and in her peer relationships at school, cheerleading, etc.
It's here in the home she continues to treat people poorly. We have five other children; [initial redacted], age 16, [initial redacted], 10, [initial redacted], age 9, [initial redacted], 5, and [initial redacted], 3. She triangulates relationships with my other children, as well as my husband and myself. An example, she encouraged and helps my younger son, [initial redacted], to tease, hurt, and harass another daughter, [initial redacted]. Prior to [initials redacted] coming into our home, these two children were extremely close and kind to one another. Very seldom did my kids have sibling fights or tantrums. [initials redacted] is extremely jealous of the other kids receiving any sort of attention and frequently goes out of her way to get the others in trouble. In the past, she has created scenarios in which to get them into trouble. Another example, she was taking candy and other goodies from the kitchen/pantry. After eating, she was placing the wrappers under other children's beds, then reporting them for stealing. This isn't the only instance we've had of this type. [initial redacted] was taking change from my husband's coin stash and going to the local convenience stores on the way to school and buying candy. She was threatening [initial redacted] with physical violence if she told what was happening. When we learned of this, we confronted [initials redacted] on this. She was very billergerant and unresponsive and blew up at me. This was usually the response we received before starting counseling. This has improved quite a bit, but the obvious fact she doesn't want to be a part of our family has not.
[initials redacted] has continually stated it was a mistake to be adopted by my husband and I. She comments, under her breath and directly, that she didn't want to be adopted and was going to get out of it, a week before it was finalized. But, the judge signed off on the adoption so it was too late. Indeed, when the news came from her social worker the adoption was final, she cried violently and was depressed for about six weeks. [initials redacted] has told me in calm, thoughtful conversations our family was not a good match for her and she hates living with us. This is despite my continued and above-and-beyond efforts to try to work with her and make this work for everyone. It's come out in counseling my other children have felt neglected, angry, and abandoned since [initials redacted] joined our family. They feel I have catered to her because of her past and her issues. As my oldest daughter, [initial redacted], and [initial redacted] have put it, It's all about [initials redacted]. Even when it's not about [initials redacted], she will MAKE it about her by acting up and turning attention to herself with negative behaviors. Lately, the counselor has me working on a new approach which involves me purposely ignoring [initials redacted] when she behaves this way. To some degree, this works, but it hasn't made [initials redacted] act or feel anymore apart of this family.
[initials redacted] continually disrespects me unless she has all the attention. Recently, when I was attempting to discuss her bullying of [initial redacted], she merely rolled her eyes at me, put up her hand, and told me I wasn't her mother. It turned into a debacle because [initial redacted], whose really had enough, told [initials redacted] she was tired of her behavior and disrespect me. [initials redacted] and [initial redacted] got into a huge row, screaming at each other. [initials redacted] puffed up her chest and threatened [initial redacted] with violence, calling her some profane names, saying she hated all of us and wishes her real mother would come get her. It almost came to blows, but I diffused it. When things calmed down, [initials redacted] disclosed she is miserable with our family and doesn't think of me as being her mother. She wants to return to the foster system, and thinks this is as simple as my dropping her off at the nearest Department of Social Services. The reason she said she stayed with us was because she wanted to be in cheerleading and we made that happen for her. (When she is at cheer competitions, she treats us worse; acting like she doesn't know us. She's told us she is embarrassed to admit we are her family. She's even gone as far as asking if her coach would adopt her.)
She has said she is too good for us doesn't want to be a part of this family. I realize some of this is tween attitude talking, but lately, she tried to start calling me by my first name. I quickly put a halt to it, telling her she can call me mom or Mrs. ------. I don't allow children in my home to call me by my name, period.
I don't recognize my family anymore since [initials redacted] joined it. [initial redacted] started cutting and once expressed suicidal thoughts to a friend, but stopped once I put her in counseling. My son, [initial redacted], has gone from a happy-go-lucky boy to a sullen, miserable kid with a bad attitude. [initial redacted] is deathly afraid of [initials redacted] and refuses to walk home from school with her. Our family rule is all the kids must stay together, but [initial redacted] and [initial redacted] will NOT walk with [initials redacted]. My other son, [initials redacted], is acting out in ways I've never seen, hitting and kicking people, using profanity, calling names. He was a gentle boy before [initials redacted] came into our home. [initials redacted] throws a lot of tantrums. My life has changed so much, I cannot even fathom I was once a happy person. I cannot leave the house without fear [initials redacted] will do something and [initial redacted] will have to call the police or an ambulance in response.
I miss life before [initials redacted] and I am very sorry I brought this child into my family. I feel terrible for her, because I'm obviously not providing what she needs to be successful. I'm not sure what that is, or how to make her feel like she's a member of the family. I'm mad at the system for processing a child into adoption who so obviously didn't want to be adopted. It wasn't fair to her, or to us. I can't turn back the clock. My family is under constant strain. My other children all HATE coming home and look for any excuse not to be here because of [initials redacted]. I no longer have a home. It's just a place where people live under the same roof. The tension is horrible. [initial redacted] now has headaches and anxiety attacks.
I also feel like I am whining because I created this situation by bringing [initials redacted] into my family. I've held these feelings in for so long, I feel like I'm having a breakdown. I want to help her, but whatever I'm offering isn't working. She doesn't want to be here. I know children aren't puppies. I know this is a lifelong commitment, but I hate, hate, hate what's happening to my family. I don't feel any bond for this child, and I'm trying to hard to love her. It's just I realized I do not. I feel horribly guilty for it and even more guilty for working so hard to cover my true feelings. [initials redacted] deserves more and better and so do my other children.



",65,Contemplating Disruption,5/1/2008 7:55,22,11,2,No,Physical, 20,Non-agency facilitator,"I am currently assisting a family, they have a 7 yr old daughter adopted from Eastern Europe. She has RAD issues, as well as sexual abuse behaviors. Another child the family adopted from the same orphanage has told them that this little girl has always been rough with other children. She needs a very special family however as she is HIV positive. Prefer a family with no other children or a family with only teenage children.
Thanks [name redacted]
",74,Special Family Needed ASAP!,5/15/2008 20:36,23,7,2,Yes,Sexual,Yes 21,Adoptive parent,"We have had our daughter for 3 years 8 months and need to do a disruption. We have 3 bio boys all older. Two boys abused her in the orphanage and our family is not a place she can grow and flourish, due to our older boys. She is anxious and nerve, because she feels the same thing will happen. It has put a strain on us for quite some time. All this recently came out when she was at respite care and told the woman watching her at respite care. Our boys have tried to bond with her and she causes problems by always sabotaging an activity they try to do with her. We have had her in counseling, but the counselor said it would be a long haul and everyone has to be on board. Our other children at this point are not on board, because of all the history and everything she has done. My husband and I now understand her behavior, but feel it is time for her to move to a family, who has all girls, or she would be an only child or the boys need to be much younger. IF anyone can help us find a home where she could flourish and grow to because the beautiful child we know she can be and give her help to overcome her fears of older boys and the abuse she went through. We also would like advice from anyone that has been through this process, so we can make it an easy transition for her and everyone involved.

",88,Disruption of a 10 year old girl,6/22/2008 14:10,24,10,2,Yes,Sexual, 22,Adoptive parent,"We adopted [name redacted] and her brother five years ago. At the time I just wanted to help some less fortunate children, I had no idea what I was getting into. She never knew her parents and has had a very hard time trusting me, especially since her behavior leaves me less than friendly much of the time. In the last five years it has become apparent that I am not the person who will carry her all the way to a healthy future. She is a beautiful and happy little girl, almost always content. If you think you might be interested and equipped to parent this very deserving little girl contact me and I will give you any information you might need.
",112,12 year old girl being disrupted,7/11/2008 13:15,25,12,2,,, 23,Adoptive parent,"We live in Missouri. We adopted him from Ukraine when he was 6. We wanted a little girl and were only shown one who had an older brother, so he was our surprise baby. We have had him since March 2006. He has developmental delays due to being instituationalized from birth, his emotional and devlopmental age is around a 4 or 5 year old. He does not have an ESL problem, his Russian language skills were at a 2 year old level when we had him tested at age 6 1/2. He has a language processing disorder-he can read pretty well but has little comprehension. He has ADHD but is well controlled on Concerta. He has some sensory issues too, but the language is the main problem. Our pediatrician says he is doing much better than she thought he ever would, she says he lacks executive function. I can answer further questions privately [name redacted]",142,disrupting our son's adoption,8/15/2008 10:59,26,,1,Yes,,Yes 24,Adoptive parent,"Well, I'm new to the group, as of this AM. We adopted bio sibs, girls, several yrs ago, but the older one has been an ongoing problem, now actively molesting her younger sis. We've become a jailhouse. She's going into a 6 month treatment program next week, but in our hearts, we know the youngest cannot progress if the one who is offending returns. I've contacted [organization redacted]. I want an open- communication adoption for her, where she's the only, or by far, youngest, child. Has anyone here had success at such an endeavor? [name redacted] and [name redacted]
",154,we need to find a home for our daughter,8/30/2008 7:01,27,10,2,No,Both,Yes 25,Adoptive parent,"We are looking to rehome an African American/Caucasian little girl who was adopted at 3 years old in a private adoption. Please email us, and tell us a little bit about yourself if you are interested in hearing about our situation. Thank you so much. ",163,6 year old girl,10/4/2008 9:34,28,6,2,,, 26,Adoptive parent,"After adopting children from an Eastern Block country in 2001 we have struggled to bond with one of our children. We adopted her at the age of 5. She suffers significant developmental delays in addition to many orphanage behaviors like self-stemming etc. We are looking to re-home her with a family that has experience with post institutionalized children or special needs children. We think she would do best in a home with other special needs children. Thanks for listening.
",164,rehoming 12 year-old,10/11/2008 17:47,29,12,2,Yes,,Yes 27,Adoptive parent,"Greetings:
We are trying to find another family/home (preferably with no other children at home, and a one-person working household) for our nearly 10 year old daughter from Vietnam.
Please e-mail me privately if you are interested and/or have any other questions.
Many thanks.
[initial redacted]
",178,Almost 10-year old girl from Vietnam/re-homing sought~,10/22/2008 21:22,30,9,2,Yes,, 28,Adoptive parent,"This is not an easy message to write for a parent. My husband and I are very carefully and prayerfully seeking a loving and nurturing family for our 14 year old Vietnamese daughter who has been with us for almost a year. She honestly is almost a model child. Excellent student and no major issues at home or school. The problem is not her; it is our family dynamic. My husband and I are older parents and we have totally different parenting styles that conflict and cause serious contention and a split in our home. Thus, the child has not been able to integrate into our family. We live in the western US. Please contact me privately at our yahoo address. Thank you.
",189,Seeking a home for 14 yr. old Vietnamese daughter,11/22/2008 7:29,31,14,2,Yes,, 30,Adoptive parent,"We are seeking to disrupt our international adoption. We have a 13 month old adopted son who has special medical needs. We have several other children(adopted and bio) and I am pregnant. I have very limited support from my family and also from my husband. Our son has physical special needs and is small for is age. We are very overwhlemed and feel this little guy would do better in a family who had the time and emotional resources to offer him. Our son is from Africa.
Blessings :)
",224,disruption 13 month old special needs,12/30/2008 13:33,33,1,1,Yes,,Yes 31,Adoptive parent,"I have a 7 year old Liberian daughter whom I need to rehome. ODD, RAD and sexual abuse issues. She has a lot going for her and thrives on Daniel Hughes Dyadic Psychotherapy. She has been in the US for over 3 years. She needs to be in a home without small boys and a smaller family would do best to give her the time she needs. We have too many small boys in our family and she cannot be left unsupervised - ever. Experienced, homestudy ready families only.
Email me at: [email redacted]
",234,Re-home situation,1/12/2009 9:13,34,7,2,Yes,Sexual,Yes 32,Adoptive parent,"Hi,
My husband and I are seeking disruption information. We adopted our son in March 2004 from India. He is now nine years old. He has a diagnosis of RAD,possible bipolar.
Does anyone used [organization redacted] agency to help with disruption?
Thanks,
[name redacted]


",241,Disruption information,1/26/2009 21:47,35,9,1,Yes,,Yes 34,Adoptive parent,"Need to disrupt adoption due to sons continued threats to hurt our family. How do I do this in Colorado? The only thing I have been hearing is you adopted him you are responsible. That there is no way to undo an adoption. Please help, they want to send him home from RTC and he has just admitted he will hurt us if he comes home.
",246,disrupting adoption,1/27/2009 12:06,36,,1,,, 35,Adoptive parent," I also live in IL with a RAD 10 year old I adopted internationally at age 4. If either of you does respite or knows someone who does, could you please email me off list? We are looking to send our son for respite for maybe three weeks or so to get a break. It has been four years since our last respite - and we need it! I have no idea what the rate for that type of thing is either, so if someone would please let me know I would appreciate it. Thanks, [name redacted] ",272,Contemplating Disruption,2/8/2009 17:28,37,10,1,Yes,,Yes 36,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I am very glad to have found this group. My husband and I are really at our wits' end with regard to our 12 year old adopted son. He has been in our home - - what we thought would be his forever home - - for 8 years. All along we have had issues with him, but things are now getting out of hand. I am spending more and more time alternating between tears and depression, rage, and despair. I am very interested in exploring out-of-home placements for our son and am actively seeking another adoptive home for him. Please respond if you are interested, or able to help.
",274,looking for options,2/9/2009 17:18,38,12,1,,, 37,,"Is anyone looking to adopt a 7 year old girl from Disruption?
",282,Looking to Disrupt Adoption,3/24/2009 10:33,39,7,2,,, 38,Adoptive parent,"Hi,
We are considering disrupting the adoption of our son from China. He has been in our home for 16 months and turned 8 years old last week.
He has a special need but that is not why we are considering disruption. If anything his need is such a non-issue.
We live in GA and are just now gathering information. Any input you have would be most helpful.
Thanks!
",287,considering disruption,3/24/2009 16:00,40,8,1,Yes,Both,Yes 39,Adoptive parent,"Hello everyone, I am new to this group and thought I would introduce myself. We adopted a little girl from Ukraine 7 years ago. She is now 15. [name redacted] is a beautiful girl, smart, friendly, and full of energy. We have 3 biological sons, ages 15 (six months older than [name redacted]) 13 and 12. We recently had to put [name redacted] in a Residential care center, [organization redacted], here in Florida due to her behavior in our home. She seems to thrive when not in our home and suffers mildly from Reactive Attachment Disorder. She is now in the State of Floridas custody and I am horrified that she will be put into the American Foster Care system. I am desperately trying to find an adoptive family for her. If anyone knows of a family, preferrably that has a child her age (sister) or no children, please let me know. I fear for her to go to the American Foster Care System, the whole reason that I adopted Internationally in the first place. Please e mail me with any advice and I can give you my phone number also. We would be happy to pay for any legal fees in re adopting [name redacted]. Like I said, she is a beautiful little girl...gets compliments all of the time, she just didn't fit into our home with our boys.
",299,Our Daughter from Ukraine...problems,4/3/2009 13:41,41,15,2,Yes,,Yes 40,Adoptive parent,"Hi, everyone. I'm so grateful to find this forum.
On the advice of two therapists, we are trying to find a new family for our recently adopted 4 yo son, [name redacted], who joined us from Guatemala last year. Both therapists told us that he should never have been placed in our home, since a child with his history is almost certainly attachment impaired and he will target our young biological children (ages 4, 6, and 7) to push us away and keep us from attaching to him.
[name redacted] suffered severe abuse and neglect for the first 18 months of his life, which is the source of his attachment problems. He went into a foster home at 18 months, then into an orphanage when he turned 3. We brought him home last winter.
The therapists we have consulted with have told us that [name redacted] has an excellent chance of recovering from his attachment disorder, but he needs a family without other young children (or at the very least, a family with older teens). His fear of attachment will cause him target the other children in the home to push the parents away and keep them from bonding with him. We have already experienced this to some degree with our two youngest children. We cannot adequately meet [name redacted]'s needs without jeopardizing the emotional and physical well-being of our biological children, and our biological children will necessary hinder [name redacted]'s attachment progress. We are trying to find a family who can meet [name redacted]'s needs better than our own can, so that we can serve all of these beautiful children.
Ideally, we would love to find a family for [name redacted] that is willing to maintain contact with us via e-mail/mail and even entertain the possibility of an annual visit with us. We endured a lengthy, arduous adoption process and we are devastated that the best thing for [name redacted] is another family. But we love him and want to give him the best opportunity to thrive and be happy.
If any of you might be interested in a special needs adoption of a beautiful little Guatemalan boy, please contact me at [email redacted]. I am willing to share full details of [name redacted]'s history, as well as what we have experienced since he came into our home. We want the family that adopts [name redacted] to have the best chance of success and to be as prepared as possible to meet his needs.
Sincerely, [name redacted]
",302,Need New Home for 4yo Boy,4/19/2009 18:38,42,4,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 41,Non-agency facilitator,"April 21, 2009 Hello Everyone, I am a messenger for a 16 year old Russian girl being disrupted in _____. She has no RAD, no FAS, no violence and was not an institutionalized child. She lived with mother and other relatives and at one time made a visit to Washington, D.C. on a Project Hope visit. [name redacted] came to an adoptive family in Feb '06, has rapidly learned English and is bright, beautiful, and gifted artistically, athletically and musically but cannot seem to connect with her adoptive family. There were home and school issues of lying, stealing and misbehavior, but not extreme violence or juvenille justice consequences. Trust issues remain. She does not set fires nor kill animals, but is extremely unhappy with her placement. SW, therapist, [name redacted] and the family feel they are not the family for her. It is felt, with the right family, she could commit and have a bright future. [name redacted] is still at home and will complete 9th grade in May. She is completing her final (4th) English Language Development course as well as Freshman English. If you are interested in learning more about this wonderful child, contact: [name redacted] [email redacted] Good Luck [name redacted] and possible parents for [name redacted]! [name redacted] of MN ",303,Possible Family??? Cross-Post,4/21/2009 15:02,43,16,2,Yes,, 42,Adoptive parent,"We are looking to rehome our two adopted children. African American girl and boy ages 7 and 10 (siblings)from the United States. If you would like more information please respond. Thank you.
",309,Looking for good home for siblings,5/4/2009 15:26,44,7,2,No,, 43,Adoptive parent,"We are looking to rehome our two adopted children. African American girl and boy ages 7 and 10 (siblings)from the United States. If you would like more information please respond. Thank you.
",309,Looking for good home for siblings,5/4/2009 15:26,45,10,1,No,, 44,Adoptive parent,"Hello, all, I am a single parent and adoptive mother of two great boys from Kazakhstan, ages 10 and 12, both of Russian heritage. The 10yo ([initial redacted]) unfortunately met with a lot of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his birth mother till age five when the police took the younger one away to an orphanage and returned the older one to the care of his grandparents. Although [initial redacted] is quite attached to me and generally delightful to be with, he has been diagnosed with RAD which generally manifests itself as a lot of attention-seeking behavior. If he can't get the good variety of attention, he will attract negative attention, like telling school he wants to kill himself, which he knows will result in a police car ride to the psychiatric unit and a couple of days out of school, which he thinks is quite entertaining. He is doing well with weekly therapy, but needs two things I can't offer: 24/7 parenting, and a home without an older brother about age 12-13. It seems some of the early abuse was at the hands of the older bio brother, and his adoptive brother bears the brunt of the agression which makes family life and even a trip in the car unbearable. He does want siblings, just not an older brother. He will happily tell anyone that he wants more of my time and attention, but all I have to give is sadly not enough for him. I am looking at temporary (1 or 2 months) placement so I can see how he does in a different environment and also get my feet back under me. He is very bright -- maybe gifted/talented, we have not yet tested him -- and completely fluent in English, but an unwilling student in anything but art and dance. We live in Northern California; Reno, NV, is the closest airport, 45 min away. If anyone knows of an appropriate situation, I would be most grateful to hear about it.
",314,Looking for temporary or possibly permanent placement for my 10yo son,5/9/2009 8:31,46,10,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 45,Adoptive parent,"We have reached the difficult decision to disrupt the adoption of our 4 year old daughter whom we adopted last spring from China. She has microtia of one ear with normal hearing in the other ear. She has also been diagnosed as autistic. If you are interested or know a family who is, please contact us.
Thank you very much.
",319,Disruption,5/13/2009 17:29,47,4,2,Yes,,Yes 46,Adoptive parent,"My husband and I brought home a sweet little girl from Russia earlier this year. We have a long story of how we were lied to and deceived by the Russian system (not saying it is all bad over there, but we saw the bad). We were only allowed to finally spend time with this sweet little girl right before court. We soon discovered she had neurological special needs. This is something we were not and are not open to. We are looking for a new home of this beautiful little girl. She is small, average size of a 2 year old. She has a lazy eye and patches for two hours a say. She is healthy. Sweet and full of smiles, hugs and kisses. She seems to form attachments well. She eats and sleeps well. She is obedient and loves our dog. If anyone knows of any resources to help find this sweet little girl her forever family, please contact me.
",338,3.5 year old Russian Princess,5/26/2009 10:36,48,3,2,Yes,,Yes 47,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I am new to this group and came because I am considering placing my daughter in another home - guardianship or adoption. This is especially difficult as I have adopted children and many of them came from disrupted adoptions. Most of my children are doing very well with the exception of my twelve year old daughter. She has been with us for almost eight years but is no longer making progress. I have reached a point of wondering if another family could make it work. I know some of my kids can function well in my home but did not function in their previous homes. My daughter has FASD. We have many services for her and have considered a long term residential placement but finances are not there. I'm open to ideas and suggestions as I am new to this forum but not new to the system as many of my kids came from really tough places. Thanks for listening.
",368,"Hi, new to group",6/12/2009 20:17,49,12,2,,,Yes 48,Adoptive parent,"I joined the group the other day and thought I'd take some time to introduce myself. I'm [name redacted], mom of 5 with 2 biological and 3 by adoption. My 13 yo son, whom I adopted 2 yrs ago is the reason why I joined. My dh and I are considering finding a new home for him. We hate the thought of placing him back into foster care but just can't seem to maintain him at home; which is why we are looking for other avenues. Currently he is in a residential treatment center, and will likely be released in Sept. For now we are trying to decide what is best for him and for the rest of the family. His diagnoses are RAD (inhibited type), ODD,and severe depression.
I am thankful for a group, such as this, where we can find support whatever we decide. So few truly understand what we are going through.
",379,New here,6/13/2009 17:22,50,13,1,,,Yes 49,Non-agency facilitator," This was posted on another group I belong to, and thought it would be of interest to members of this group. For what it is worth my son, who was adopted from Russia is also 11 and just finished 3rd grade. My son is quite bright; the extra time is needed for language development. [name redacted]
There is a little boy who needs a new adoptive home asap!! His adoptive family needs to disrupt his adoption.

Here is his info below:

---He was adopted from Russia in 2006.
---He will turn 11 years old at the end of this month (June)
---He has an average IQ - according to a non verbal IQ test in 2007.
---He is behind academically, just finishing 3rd grade.
---He is cute and social, friendly, polite and cooperative according to teachers.
---He lacks a lot of basic functional information which is typical of kids who were raised in orphanages.
---He has also been in 3 schools in 3 years by adoptive mother's choice.
---The adoptive mother describes him as hyper and inattentive, and there is some inattention and distractibility noted in school.
---He is not on any medication.
---His school progress is not a concern, although he is on a behavior plan.
---There have been no evaluations done, other than a basic special ed eval which did not find him eligible.
---He has had 3 sessions of counseling with a social worker and no other treatment.
---He is athletic and artistic and creative.

He will do well in any family make up.

Please if you or know someone that will open their hearts and home to this great kid contact me asap at [email redacted]

Thanks, [name redacted] :)

",388,Home needed,6/17/2009 7:19,51,10,1,Yes,, 50,Adoptive parent,"Hi- We have adopted three children after having three biologic children and now find ourselves in a no-win situation. After two previous successful experiences with adoption, we adopted a child from South America who we were told had seizure disorder but otherwise, was in good health. She was 4 1/2 then and just turned 7. Well, the info wasn't exactly accurate. She doesn't actually have seizures anymore- and hasn't had one since she was 2 1/2. She does have a rare genetic disorder that includes moderate mental retardation/learning disabilities, mostly with expressive language. In other words, sometimes we understand completely what she's saying and other times, her language is somewhat garbled. She is a beautiful, charming Hispanic black-haired child with large deep brown eyes with the longest eyelashes and deep dimples. We have taken care of her long-term dental neglect, and her permanent teeth are just beginning to come in and they're beautiful. She also, unfortunately, was physically, emotionally abused and sexually molested while in a foster home there for over four years. As a result, she has many of the characteristics of Reactive Attachment Disorder/ Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We have, during these 2 1/2 years that we've had her, seen two psychologists and a neuropsychologist. We moved our family from the east coast to Indiana for her to receive medical care from a Pediatric Geneticist who specialializes in the genetic condition she has. (And the condition she has, as it turns out, has minimal effect on the issues that brought us here- it was the behavior issues that caused us to move!) This little girl has come so far in the time she has been in our family. Still, she desperately needs to be either the youngest child in the home or the only child. She is doing well in school, has friends there and is loved by teachers and staff. At home, she is extremely jealous of our our youngest and is constantly looking for opportunities to hurt our 4 yr.old. The behaviors have been well beyond the usual sibling rivalry.
She has made great progress in all other areas but this has caused enough conflict that our family has been on the edge of complete destruction, including threatening our marriage. We were unprepared for any of the issues she brought and the combination of those plus continued acting out against our most vunerable child (also special needs)has left us at odds with each other and completely drained.
So, having explained our situation, given the choice between dismantling our entire family or disruption, disruption is the alternative we have reluctantly chosen.
If you know anyone who is prepared to adopted this child, please leave a message for us to forward to our adoption lawyer.


",392,7 y/o needing adoption-from-disruption,6/19/2009 22:24,52,7,2,Yes,Both,Yes 51,Adoptive parent,"We have a 13 year old boy adopted from Russia almost 3 years ago. He is doing very well in school, very bright and is well liked by his teachers and friends. He originally was thought to be ADHD, but is now functioning well without medications. He was adopted along with 2 other children from Russia (none are related biologically). He has not bonded with our family but does not have bonding issues since he has developed strong bonds with people like his ESL teacher. This child enjoys attending church, plays sports and really needs a new family to start over with. You can email me for more information at [email redacted]
",406,need home,6/25/2009 19:54,53,13,1,Yes,, 53,Non-agency facilitator,"This attractive Russian girl has been in the US for about 3 years. She has been in several families, as well as respite at the [organization redacted]. She is currently in a treatment center and they are looking for a new family for her. She has serious RAD problems as well as a mood disorder and other issues but has potential in the right situation. A family trained in RAD is a must in this case. If you know of someone who might be interested, please contact me off list. Thanks!
",415,Home needed for 14 yr old Russian girl,6/26/2009 19:36,55,14,2,Yes,,Yes 55,Adoptive parent,"Adopted as part of a 3 sibling group almost 6 years ago from Ukraine--later discovered not true siblings. Incredibly good looking, no health issues, not on any medication. Sharp, intelligent, extremely capable and everyone tells us how wonderful they are. The teachers, camp counselors, neighbors all brag how lucky we are.
At home, we are tired and abused parents. They control each other and us, are so disfunctionally jealous of each other, lie, cheat, and show no respect to us or each other. The only time they actually spend quality time together is when they are plotting against us. The rest of the time is spent arguing with each other or attempting to pull us into an argument. It is not sibling rivalry, as parents we were part of large families--we know the difference.
They do extremely well in a supervised, organized program such as camp, school, after school care, etc. But our weekends are horrible, unless every moment is spent entertaining the boys which in real life is simply not possible. If a neighbor kid comes to play, they drop us like a hot potato but as soon as they are gone here we go again with the controlling, irritating, arguing behavior to engage us. They don't want to have fun with us, they want to control every move we make.
And therin lies the rub--we don't want to be controlled. My husband and I are very easy going and all of this conflict is taking a toll on us. They need a larger family with more activities to blend into -like a farm! We are not even sure that they need to be kept together in the same family. We actually think it might be best to separate them from the gang habits they can't seem to let go of. Both need to be the youngest child in the family, they respond well to teen and camp counselors and could benefit from an older child's influence. If they see it in their best interest, they are helpful and great workers--anywhere but home, where they say we adopted them only to do housework and yardwork.
This is not our first disruption. Almost 4 years ago, the oldest was at the [organization redacted] for the same issues and later adopted by a single mom. There is little to no contact and the boys rarely mention each other.
The 12 year old ([name redacted])can be seen at [website redacted]. We see so much potential in these boys, but we can't seem to make any progress with them and feel that changing coaches may be in their best interest.
",423,Seeking homes for 11 & 12 yr old boys - long post,6/30/2009 7:26,56,12,1,Yes,, 54,Adoptive parent,"Adopted as part of a 3 sibling group almost 6 years ago from Ukraine--later discovered not true siblings. Incredibly good looking, no health issues, not on any medication. Sharp, intelligent, extremely capable and everyone tells us how wonderful they are. The teachers, camp counselors, neighbors all brag how lucky we are.
At home, we are tired and abused parents. They control each other and us, are so disfunctionally jealous of each other, lie, cheat, and show no respect to us or each other. The only time they actually spend quality time together is when they are plotting against us. The rest of the time is spent arguing with each other or attempting to pull us into an argument. It is not sibling rivalry, as parents we were part of large families--we know the difference.
They do extremely well in a supervised, organized program such as camp, school, after school care, etc. But our weekends are horrible, unless every moment is spent entertaining the boys which in real life is simply not possible. If a neighbor kid comes to play, they drop us like a hot potato but as soon as they are gone here we go again with the controlling, irritating, arguing behavior to engage us. They don't want to have fun with us, they want to control every move we make.
And therin lies the rub--we don't want to be controlled. My husband and I are very easy going and all of this conflict is taking a toll on us. They need a larger family with more activities to blend into -like a farm! We are not even sure that they need to be kept together in the same family. We actually think it might be best to separate them from the gang habits they can't seem to let go of. Both need to be the youngest child in the family, they respond well to teen and camp counselors and could benefit from an older child's influence. If they see it in their best interest, they are helpful and great workers--anywhere but home, where they say we adopted them only to do housework and yardwork.
This is not our first disruption. Almost 4 years ago, the oldest was at the [organization redacted] for the same issues and later adopted by a single mom. There is little to no contact and the boys rarely mention each other.
The 12 year old ([name redacted])can be seen at [website redacted]. We see so much potential in these boys, but we can't seem to make any progress with them and feel that changing coaches may be in their best interest.
",423,Seeking homes for 11 & 12 yr old boys - long post,6/30/2009 7:26,57,11,1,Yes,, 56,Adoptive parent,"We adopted a boy from Guatemala who is 7 years old (by his paperwork - dentist and doctor estimate 9 or 10). We brought him home in Feb. 2008 and he has attachment issues. We have an appointment to start seeing a therapist in Feb. but we have had it. Today was the last straw - he is just getting worse and worse. We must dissolve this adoption for our sanity! The agency we used to adopt is no longer in business, so would we use the agency who did our homestudy?? He came here on an IR-3 visa so is legally ours. Any advice is needed - but please no bashing.
[name redacted]
",214,New here and wanting to dissolve our adoption,12/29/2008 15:47,58,7,1,Yes,,Yes 57,Adoptive parent,"Seeking to rehome in California, a 2 year old boy, healthy according to UCLA Med Doc, full caucasian, blond/brown hair, brown eyes, no significant behavioral issues other than being 2- would like to place with christian couple or single mom who would agree to continue twice yearly McDonald's Happy Meal or Disney visit with older sibling. Please contact for more info at email address.
",434,rehome in California,7/6/2009 22:44,59,2,1,Yes,, 58,," Our wonderful agency is looking for a home for these three bi-racial kids. Last agency did not give any real information and the family they had wants to disrupt the adoption. We are in the process of obtaining updated psy evals and therapy for them so we can give the prospective adoptive family alot more insight, etc. I think it would be best if they were they only kids in the home or at least the youngest. The ages are 10, 8 and 6 or 7 is the boy.

Contact [name redacted]:

[phone number redacted]
[phone number redacted]",469,Need home for these 3 kids,7/23/2009 7:51,60,10,2,,, 59,," Our wonderful agency is looking for a home for these three bi-racial kids. Last agency did not give any real information and the family they had wants to disrupt the adoption. We are in the process of obtaining updated psy evals and therapy for them so we can give the prospective adoptive family alot more insight, etc. I think it would be best if they were they only kids in the home or at least the youngest. The ages are 10, 8 and 6 or 7 is the boy.

Contact [name redacted]:

[phone number redacted]
[phone number redacted]",469,Need home for these 3 kids,7/23/2009 7:51,61,8,2,,, 60,," Our wonderful agency is looking for a home for these three bi-racial kids. Last agency did not give any real information and the family they had wants to disrupt the adoption. We are in the process of obtaining updated psy evals and therapy for them so we can give the prospective adoptive family alot more insight, etc. I think it would be best if they were they only kids in the home or at least the youngest. The ages are 10, 8 and 6 or 7 is the boy.

Contact [name redacted]:

[phone number redacted]
[phone number redacted]",469,Need home for these 3 kids,7/23/2009 7:51,62,6,1,,, 61,Adoptive parent,"We have made the decision that we need to find a new home for our son. It was a long and hard decision to make - but I know we've exhausted all other avenues (both in and out of country) Our son is 14 and small for his age.  He has RAD, FASD, Mild mental retardation (overall IQ 68), disassociation ... and the issues that go along with those diagnoses. We did 3 years of intensive attachment therapy and he didn't want to participate but we have continued using the therapeutic parenting along with Love and Logic and while def not cured ... his attachment issues are better. Our biggest issue and reason for deciding to find a new family for our son is because he was placed with his bio sister. They both experienced a lot of trauma in their early years. Psychiatrists have speculated and feel that our son acts out violently towards our daughter because both emotionally and cognitively he is just not able to separate the past from his sister ... hence his target. My husbands' sister has been helping us care for our son in order to keep the kids separate and while with her - he was fine around other children. (as far as not hurting them) He is easily influenced though and can be talked into doing just about anything ... esp if it's dangerous it seems! Our son is african american but has found his identity within the hispanic culture and language and while bi-lingual, prefers to speak spanish. This past year we have had an EXCELLENT psychiatrist that gets it and has really been there both for our son and us. He also feels that a new home would be the best option for our son also due to the acting out towards his sister. Our son loves to play with toys (but destroys them quickly ... and not always malicious sly either), play basketball, has excellent rhythm and likes to play drums, participates in our church youth group, climb trees and swim .... He's been with us for 8 years ... we want a family that will love him as much as we do. We think that he will be ok in a family with other children .... and does great with teens that can be a positive roll model for him. He has done well with his cousins ages 2, 3, 10, 11, 12, & 13 ... we just always make sure to have supervision for him when he's around the littles because his brain can act like a little kid too - but he's bigger than them obviously and he doesn't always realize this. If this sounds like a situation that you might be interested in, Please contact me at [email redacted]   [name redacted] ",470,Need family for 14 yo boy,7/23/2009 14:17,63,14,1,No,Physical,Yes 62,Adoptive parent,"My husband and I are seeking to find a new, loving home for our daughter, adopted a year and a half ago. She is 8 years old and was adopted from India. She has ADHD and was just diagnosed with RAD and we cannot handle these issues. We have done our best, but it just was not enough.
I am new to the whole yahoo group thing so not sure what to do... please contact me if you would like to discuss the possibility of adopting this child.
Thank you
",564,Disrupting Our Internationally Adopted Child,8/5/2009 8:11,64,8,2,Yes,,Yes 65,Adoptive parent,"My husband and I wish to disrupt our adoption of our 3 sibling boys ages 10,12,and 14. We adopted them 5 years ago from Brazil.
We feel that we are not the parents that the boys need in their lives. They would do better with parents who can give them the time and support that they need.
If any family would be willing to open their families to the boys, please e-mail me privately.
This is a very hard decision but one that must be made for the best interest of the boys and our family.
Thank You [name redacted]

",580,disrupting our boys,8/10/2009 14:59,65,10,1,Yes,, 64,Adoptive parent,"My husband and I wish to disrupt our adoption of our 3 sibling boys ages 10,12,and 14. We adopted them 5 years ago from Brazil.
We feel that we are not the parents that the boys need in their lives. They would do better with parents who can give them the time and support that they need.
If any family would be willing to open their families to the boys, please e-mail me privately.
This is a very hard decision but one that must be made for the best interest of the boys and our family.
Thank You [name redacted]

",580,disrupting our boys,8/10/2009 14:59,66,12,1,Yes,, 292,,"Hi - I received info. about some children needing to be re-homed. If you want any further info., please contact the agency directly. I have never worked with this agency, just passing the info. on in hopes of helping these children find their forever families. Blessing!
[initial redacted] and [initial redacted]: These boys are twins, five and a half years old, adopted from Moldova in 2006. They are currently in a home with five other siblings, and the environment is not conducive to meeting their needs. They are two adorable little boys and are basically physically healthy (one of them has Strabismus, and may need surgery on his left eye later in life). They have both been diagnosed with Disruptive Disorder at this point. Looking for a smaller family, where they can receive the individual attention they need to thrive.
[initial redacted]: Just turned 13. He was adopted from Brazil in 2004. A sweet boy, whose adoptive family is coming through a difficult time, and he has been placed in private foster care for the past several months. He gets along well with father figures, so preferably looking for a family with a strong father figure involved. He also would probably thrive in a smaller family, with no more than 2-3 other children. He needs to be in a home where he can be loved and appreciated. He is great at doing his chores and helping out around the house.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. He is almost 13 and was adopted from Russia in 1998, when he was seven months old. Has some attachment issues. I can get you more information next week, after I have spoke with his counselors.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. Just turned 7, adopted from Russia when he was eight months old. He has gone through some traumatic circumstances since his adoption. Has attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, and also possible OCD. We will have more information on him next week, after the assessment is completed.
If you would like anymore information on any of these great little kiddos, please let me know! As I stated earlier, please feel free to pass this information along if you know someone else that might be interested!
Thanks!
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
[organization name redacted]
[address redacted]
[address redacted]
[email address redacted]
Work: [phone number redacted]
Cell: [phone number redacted]


",1274,Available children,3/3/2010 14:54,66,12,1,Yes,, 293,,"[name redacted], We are in Illinois and are disrupting a 13 year old boy, [name redacted]. If you are interested, we are working with [organization redacted] trying to find him a forever home. Thanks, [name redacted] Here is the agencies contact info. [name redacted] [organization redacted] [address redacted] [email address redacted] Work: [phone number redacted] Cell: [phone number redacted] ",1283,checking in,3/7/2010 16:15,66,12,1,Yes,, 63,Adoptive parent,"My husband and I wish to disrupt our adoption of our 3 sibling boys ages 10,12,and 14. We adopted them 5 years ago from Brazil.
We feel that we are not the parents that the boys need in their lives. They would do better with parents who can give them the time and support that they need.
If any family would be willing to open their families to the boys, please e-mail me privately.
This is a very hard decision but one that must be made for the best interest of the boys and our family.
Thank You [name redacted]

",580,disrupting our boys,8/10/2009 14:59,67,14,1,Yes,, 66,,"Hello, I am posting this as a favor for family friends. They are looking for a family for their 13 year old boy. He is listed here: [website redacted] There is an email contact on the listing to get more information. [name redacted]
",596,disruption situation,8/11/2009 10:59,68,13,1,,, 67,,"I just received this from a local adoption agency. I don't know the situation personally but asked for permission to forward this. I am actually shutting down my computer right now to take it for more an upgrade-so please don't contact me for more info, contact the agency. Hopefully his forever family is out there somewhere. Thanks! [name redacted] ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: [email redacted] Date: Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 12:57 PM Subject: Seeking a new adoptive home To: Hi all! I am writing on behalf of a family who has come to the difficult conclusion to dissolve the adoption for one of their children. Below is a very honest and candid description of the situation. [name redacted] was born in Colombia on [month and day redacted], 2003. He was adopted and moved to the United States in December 2008. [name redacted] was adopted as the youngest sibling in a group of three (older sisters ages 8 & 10 years) although additional older siblings continue to live in Colombia. A new adoptive family is only being sought for [name redacted]; his older sisters will remain in their current family. Prior to [name redacted]'s adoption, he was presented as a happy child with some minor speech delays. He had experienced abuse from his biological mother in Colombia, but was presented as a generally well-adjusted child who was not significantly impacted by the abuse. [name redacted]'s current family worked hard to prepare for an older sibling group of three and sought as much information as possible from the authorities in Colombia. His family has also worked diligently to identify and meet the needs of each of their five children since the adoption (they also have two younger children - 3 & 4 years who were adopted previously). However, [name redacted]'s needs are far greater than his referral described. He and his biological sisters did not live together consistently in Colombia and do not have healthy sibling bonds. And, due to the composition of his current family, it is in all of the children's best interest for [name redacted] to enter a new adoptive home. [name redacted] is currently in a residential treatment facility due to severe RAD behaviors that included physically and mentally attacking his mother and threatening to kill everyone in his family as well as general difficulties functioning within a family setting. It is the family's hope that this treatment will assist [name redacted] is being able to adjust within a family. But due to the significant pain and threats to safety that they experienced previously, they do not feel able to fully welcome him back into the family even after treatment is complete. Aside from severe RAD (disinhibited), [name redacted] has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. He also was determined to have a mild developmental cognitive disability, but it is believed that his other mental health issues are preventing him from learning (rather than that he has a limited capacity to learn). In light of these diagnoses, [name redacted] is delayed in all areas of his development and has sensory and social challenges. He is now proficient in English. As is typical with a child who has RAD, [name redacted] is superficially sweet and charming with adults other than his primary attachment figure (adoptive mom). But [name redacted] is also a fun kid with some great potential. This is directly from [name redacted]'s adoptive mom: [name redacted] is a great kid who loves to do things one-on-one with adults. He is very sweet and charming and I think that this is his true personality when he is not feeling threatened or fearful. Unfortunately he just has so much trauma to process. [name redacted] loves to play with cars and trucks, preschool/kindergarten board games, simple puzzles, legos, blocks, coloring. [name redacted] likes to listen to stories. [name redacted] is not a physically active child in that he does not prefer to play outdoor games. He does not like running, walking, biking, climbing. He prefers sedentary activities and needs to be encouraged to be active. [name redacted] is a good helper around the house and likes to learn how to do anything new together with an adult. [name redacted] does best in one-on-one settings, but would be fine with some older siblings (not younger than age 12); however, when there are too many people around he gets anxious and acts out. [name redacted] was a hard worker in school and the teachers just LOVED him. [name redacted]'s parents are seeking a new adoptive home for him with these primary qualifications: the prospective adoptive parents have experience with children who have RAD and the family does not have any children younger than [name redacted] and does not plan to have children younger than [name redacted]. Attached are a few pictures of [name redacted] (in the one with him coloring on his face, that was the intentional activity at a local children's museum) Please contact me with any questions or if you know of a family that might be interested and able to parent this little boy!! If you don't have any specific resources, I offer that you could help by praying for [name redacted] and his current family as well as his future family. Thanks so much! [name redacted] [organization redacted] [address redacted] (map) [phone number redacted]",649,Seeking a new adoptive home,8/14/2009 11:47,69,6,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 68,Adoptive parent,"Hi! We're Americans living in Ireland. When we adopted our daughter we were in America. She is from Liberia and has mild CP. For various reasons, we have thought for a long time that she is not a good fit for our family and nor are we for her. But we did not have the financial resources to disrupt, which would require coming to America. When we adopted her the agency played down her CP like it was a wrong diagnosis. Unfortunately, once she lived with us we realized how ill-equipped we were to have a special needs daughter in our family. I'd appreciate any help or interest in her. Thanks, [name redacted]
",655,disruption 10 yr. old special needs,8/20/2009 12:40,70,10,2,Yes,,Yes 69,Adoptive parent,"Hi everyone,I am new to this but willing to try anything to make things turn out alright. We adopted [name redacted] from a Russian orphanage in 2003. He was 6 y.o. then and now he is 11. He has always displayed many of the behavior issues commonly experienced with post institutionalized children (impulsiveness, lying, stealing from siblings, lack of cause/effect understanding,). He also has had issues with urinating in his pants (a control thing I've been told by a psychologist) and also experimenting with our love bird (tied a string to her leg and threw her -- she wasn't hurt). We have always dealt with these issues and things were OK for a while. His behavior, however, seemed to intensify over the last 18 months, culminating in his starting a fire in our basement to see what it was like to start a fire. He is now on some meds Risperdal, and Ritalin. Now, having said that, he is a wonderful child in so many ways. He is handsome, polite, compassionate (that is what first drew me to him), hard working, funny, and extremely creative and artistic. He has an IEP and is in the 5th grade. He is patient and likes playing with younger children; he is great with them as long as you understand that his judgement is not that of a typical 11 year old. He has never to my knowledge ever intentionally hurt anyone, is not violent, does not have tantrums. His ideal family would have a big back yard, love to fish, (he is not a city boy), have time to give him the attention and encouragement he craves, and be patient. His 11 year old sister understands why we are doing what we are doing, but wants to be assured that they can keep in touch. This has been a very difficult time for us all, but we know this is what we have to do and that [name redacted] will be better off as will we. We adopted him because we were his last chance and we were committed to doing what we could to give him a life. We feel we have done our job and can no longer parent him effectively. If anyone out there knows of any family that would like to meet him, please email me. I promise to be honest. Thanks
",656,a special boy needs a new home,8/22/2009 18:05,71,11,1,Yes,, 71,Adoptive parent,"I recently joined this group because my husband and I have begun discussions about possibly dissolving the adoption of our daughter and finding her a new family - one that will be a better fit for her. We are just in the beginning stages of this and have no idea how this process works.
For those of you who are actively seeking a new home for a child - have you already taken preliminary steps with an attorney or agency - or is it more a case of finding a new home first? Are there specific steps you must follow? Where do we begin?
After reading through all of the messages, I must admit to feeling somewhat guilty for being here. It seems that most of you are dealing with situations/behaviors that are so much worse than what we are experiencing.
We have 4 children - 2 are biological (20 & 17) and 2 (11 & 9) have been home from Haiti since 2003. Our 9 year old, from the very first time we met, has been an absolute joy. He bonded instantly with all of us and it seems like he has always been part of our family.Our 11 year old is a much different story.She was difficult to deal with at our first visit and, looking back at the photos/videos we received while the kids remained in the orphanage, we should have seen a warning. She was almost always in the background - alone or crying, never really engaged. We never thought twice about bringing her into our family because she is the biological sibling of our son and we didn't want to separate them. She is not at all attached to anyone in our family and, most unfortunately, none of us even like her. It is difficult to even be in the same room with her. Her behavior, while not horrible, has left us not trusting her in the least. We must lock the bedroom doors of everyone else in the family to keep her from stealing. She has no conscience and 'slinks' around the house,always looking over her shoulder. She just stares at us - especially our 17 year old. It gets quite creepy. Our older children can't stand being around her so there is no family time. We just can't allow the destruction of our family to continue and we know it isn't fair to her, either. She needs to be in a family who can love her, help her to develop into the woman God wants her to be, and who she can love in return.
Any help would be appreciated. We really don't know where to start.
Thanks!
[name redacted]

",670,"An introduction, of sorts, and questions",8/28/2009 5:40,74,11,2,Yes,, 72,Adoptive parent,"Hi my name is [name redacted]. My husband and I adopted 2 little girls from Ukraine in 2007. One little girl is adusting well and it is like she was born to us. The oldest little girl, who is 9, is not doing well with us. She lies constantly, steals, and cheats. She suffers from RAD and low IQ. She has FAE but only slightly. We are financially, mentally and emotionally drained by this child. She is a beautiful little girl and a part of me can see a lot of great potential in her. We are trying to find a respite home with this turning into rehoming for [name redacted]. If anyone has absolutely ANY ideas, please let me know. We have reached our breaking point. This relationship is not healthy for her, my husband and I, or the other 2 kids we have. We live in Texas. I cry myself to sleep at night from just sheer mental exhaustion. Please give me some ideas...anyone!
",698,New Here,9/1/2009 6:30,75,9,2,Yes,,Yes 73,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
My husband and I have just joined this group and are seeking possible respite care or disruption for our 14 yr old boy adopted from Ethiopia. He has been with us for 3 years. Our son is a bright but challanging youg man. He is in to tinkering with motors, drawing and music. We are a family of 5 with two bio kids. He has goten along with our other children failry well, however the ongoing stress of his non-compliance has caused a significant strain on our family dynamics. We feel as a family that we can not meet his needs. We have worked very hard for 3 years to provide a loving, patient and structured home. Please contact me if you feel as though you could provide some assistance to us.
Blessings, [initials redacted]
",714,Looking for respite and possible disruption of 14 yr old Ethiopian boy,9/3/2009 14:08,76,14,1,Yes,, 74,,"Hi All, I am newer to the group. We are in the process of adopting a little girl from China. I guess I joined the group since we might be open to adopting a child from disruption in the future since I am not sure if we will have funds to go to china again. Anyway, got this on another list I am on and I know there are people on here who are interested in adopting right now. Contact info in in the message below as are details about the child. I believe [organization redacted] is the agency involved. [name redacted] Forwarded Info:",718,4 Year old adopted girl needs a new home ASAP!,9/10/2009 11:09,77,4,2,Yes,,Yes 75,,"A family is needed for [name redacted], born in China in December of l997 and placed in an adoptive home in the US in December of 2008. [name redacted] has many strengths. She is very coordinated physically and has quickly learned to swim. She also likes playing ball. Her skills with a hula hoop and a jump rope are awesome! Art and music are also strengths for her. She is taking recorder lessons and loves to do art projects. When motivated, she is a very hard worker who takes pride in doing a good job. Please ask about [name redacted]'s sensitive special need. She is taking medication for ADHD. She has been preliminarily diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder. She has shown improvement under medication.A new home offers the best chance for [name redacted] to be accepted by a new family. [name redacted] will be entering the fifth grade in September. She still receives help with English, but she has picked up language skills very well and has a sharp memory. [organization redacted] has often seen children who react as [name redacted] has to their first family, and then with placement into a second family, seem to move to acceptance of being an adopted child. There are no adoption fees.There is a $250 application fee, post placement fee, finalization fee and the cost of travel domestically.
[organization redacted] is a non-profit adoption agency. Please contact [name redacted] at [organization redacted]...
",719,"Girl, 11+ years old, Asia, athletic, musical, artistic, no adoption fee",9/10/2009 18:39,78,11,2,Yes,,Yes 76,Adoptive parent,"Hi, We are new to this group and after reading through older messages decided to post with our situation. We have decided to disrupt the adoption of our 4.5 yo daughter for a variety of reasons, all mostly related to family dynamics. She is adopted internationally and came home at just under a year old. We looked at [organization redacted] and wonder if anyone has used them and is willing to share the experience with us. Specifically, we want to make sure the legal aspects are covered well but wonder about total costs too. Any info will be appreciated. Thanks, [initials redacted]
",720,Intro and question,9/10/2009 20:04,79,4,2,Yes,, 78,Adoptive parent,"Hello I am a single mom of two sons, who I adopted from the Ukraine. On Saturday it will be 8 years since I went to Court in the Ukraine and became their mom. They both have had many medical problems. The oldest ([name redacted]) now age 12 1/2 has had 32 surgieries/proceedures/hospitalizations and the yongest ([name redacted]) has had 34 but the last10 have been psyciatric. He is diagnosed as bi-polar on medication and now is showing some type of movement disorder. I spent 2 hours last night on and off (mostly on) holding him down. He can be so good and appoligetic one minute and beating his older (non bio) brother to a pulp, saying the meanest most vile things to his brother and I. I do not want to disrupt because I love him and I know that it will signal to all especially to me what a horrible failer I am. He has some chronic medical issues that are easy to manage but the behavior is so out of control. I have recently started working with a social worker who is an adoption presevation specialist but that will end next week because of my states budget woes and I lost my respit two weeks ago because the only people who would watch my boys is moving 900 miles away. I would love some encouragement and help. Thank-you [name redacted]
",413,Hello and new here,6/26/2009 11:00,80,12,1,Yes,,Yes 77,Adoptive parent,"Hello I am a single mom of two sons, who I adopted from the Ukraine. On Saturday it will be 8 years since I went to Court in the Ukraine and became their mom. They both have had many medical problems. The oldest ([name redacted]) now age 12 1/2 has had 32 surgieries/proceedures/hospitalizations and the yongest ([name redacted]) has had 34 but the last10 have been psyciatric. He is diagnosed as bi-polar on medication and now is showing some type of movement disorder. I spent 2 hours last night on and off (mostly on) holding him down. He can be so good and appoligetic one minute and beating his older (non bio) brother to a pulp, saying the meanest most vile things to his brother and I. I do not want to disrupt because I love him and I know that it will signal to all especially to me what a horrible failer I am. He has some chronic medical issues that are easy to manage but the behavior is so out of control. I have recently started working with a social worker who is an adoption presevation specialist but that will end next week because of my states budget woes and I lost my respit two weeks ago because the only people who would watch my boys is moving 900 miles away. I would love some encouragement and help. Thank-you [name redacted]
",413,Hello and new here,6/26/2009 11:00,81,11,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 79,Adoptive parent,"We are looking for a home for our 10 yr old daughter [name redacted]. Please look at her bio on [organization redacted]. [website redacted] Thank you, [name redacted]
",760,Need Home for our Daughter,9/25/2009 18:02,82,10,2,,, 80,,Forwarded message is attached. 13 year old boy from ethiopia needs new home asap
,770,,9/27/2009 16:05,83,13,1,Yes,, 81,Non-agency facilitator,"Hello, I am posting this message on behalf of a family needing respite for a 6 year old boy, adopted internationally. The family will disrupt, but needs the child to find a respite home asap until the ideal family situation is located. The family's financial situation is limited, so if anybody has any suggestions for help, we'd be grateful. Please reply privately if needed, and thank you.

",774,Introduction,9/29/2009 18:45,84,6,1,Yes,, 82,Adoptive parent," My daughter is 16 years old. In July she went to a party, drank until she became unconscious, was taken to the ER, from there went to psych unit. Stayed in psych unit for 22 days because she said she hates us (her parents and sister) so much that she would kill herself rather than come home. Finally she came home. Then in Sept. she took an overdose of pills, went to psych hospital, came home, now in intensive outpatient therapy. Last night she tried to run away because I wanted her to stop intant messaging her friends at 10:15 and go to bed. I stood in front of the door but she pushed me aside, possibly breaking my toe (I haven't had it looked at). My husband is a corrections officer, so he put her in a safe restraint hold and we tried to get her to calm down. But she started to yell she was going to kill us. So her sister called 911 and the police came. Then she told police she would kill herself. So now she is in the ER waiting for a psych bed to open up (there is a shortage of adolescent psych units where we live). It may not be a good idea for her to come home to us, she really seems to hate all of us, and it is very hard on her younger sister. She has bullied her younger sister and threatened to harm her unless younger sister lets older sister use the cell phone. We live in Arizona. It will be difficult for us to afford the [organization redacted] at $3500 a month for room and board, even though I think they have a good program. Do any of you know of a safe, affordable respite care program for my daughter? When she is not around us she is very charming (RAD, she can be wonderful with strangers). Thanks, [name redacted] ",811,possibly need respite,10/7/2009 10:22,85,16,2,,,Yes 83,," I am not sure if it is wrong, and if it is against the rules of the group I really appologize. Is just that this boy soooo touched my heart. [website redacted] He is 8, and seems like a great kid. The reason he touched me so much is because he is from Brazil (as I am also). I would really consider him but I am 7mo pregnant AND in process of adopting 2 girls ages 10 and 13 from the Ukraine (whom we hosted before I got pregnant). 3 kids at once for a childless couple is already too much... a 4th child with known attachment issues is certainly more than we can handle.... Still, I have seem his face over and over in this site and just wish there was something I could do. I look at him and see a typical Brazilian (in appearance). As many other orphans I've seen in Brazil over the years... Just wish I could help him... Perhaps someone can... ",882,8yo boy for adoption....,10/20/2009 17:08,86,8,1,Yes,,Yes 84,Adoptive parent,"First of all I'm sorry for my english (me and my husband moved here from Germany two years ago).
We adopted my niece 2.5 years ago from Germany after her mother died. She was the most charming little girl we ever met and was ready to come and live with us in the US. The adoption was finalized in Germany now she's here on a special Visa status (my husband and I are greencard holders). After 3 month her behavior changed but we thought she maybe just need more time to adjust. It took us another 1.5 year to get her diagnosed with RAD. We are seeing a wonderful attachment therapist since 8 month, read every book, went to ever workshop and understand the whole situation BUT she is getting worse. There is not one day in our life since years that doesn't feel like it's gonna be ok and now we are at a point where we feel that we can't help her anymore. She's not responding to us in no way. It's like we lost her already. I know I shouldn't say this but I can't live like that anymore.
Right now we are thinking to disrupt the adoption because maybe with the right educated parents she will get better. Could you please give us information about the process and maybe you know more about the fact that the adoption was finalized in Germany. I don't know where to start but I don't want to wait more years to make it harder for all of us to start a new - maybe better life.
I could cry that I doing this right now - but there's no hope left.
[initials redacted]
",885,Need desperately help for our 6 year old daughter.,10/21/2009 13:33,87,6,2,Yes,,Yes 85,," not sure this child has been posted before, the agency listed above is the one to contact. subsidy may be available, also depending on your state fees maybe waived contact [name redacted] from [organization redacted] for more info on [name redacted] Forwarded message is attached.",947,,10/29/2009 14:41,88,,1,,, 86,Adoptive parent,"Our son was placed with us from US foster care at 9, where he'd been since 3 months old. He is 16 at the end of this week however his emotional age and cognitive functioning is about 9.
He was born addicted to methamphetamines and probably alcohol. His birth mother had four children, and is possibly raising the youngest. We've had limited/sporadic contact with the second to oldest. Each child has special needs to some degree ranging from mild to moderate mental health issues and low IQs - including our son.
He is biracial (AA/CA) with light skin, dark brown curly hair. He is tall, incredibly handsome, strong, loving, charming and has a great sense of humour. His primary dx has changed numerous times over the years and right now medical professionals have settled on PDD-NOS, which puts him on the autism spectrum. However, my son is friendly, talkative around people that he knows, very athletic (he just completed cross country season, and began wrestling), compassionate.
He just began 9th grade and he has an occupational course of study. Slowly we're seeing a glimpse of maturity and perhaps, the young man he can become with continued guidance. He needs continued intense therapy, as well as direction in skills of daily living. I believe he will live independently someday, but with a great amount of assistance from a social service agency and hopefully, extended family.
Unfortunately, he frequently lies, steals, destroys personal property (he has almost no personal belongings because things are either broken mysteriously or lost on a continuous basis). While he is great with younger children (relates to them much better than age appropriate peers), and they tend to be drawn to him because he is fun and never tires of playing, he should never be left unattended with a younger child. I'm pretty sure there are some mild attachement issues at play although he cuddles, loves, doesn't seek anyone else out as family.
He also loves animals fiercely.
He has come a very long way over the years. However, his manipulative tendencies, history of aggression (no incidents in the last 2 years), passive aggressive tendencies, refusal to accept accountability for his actions, impulsivity, difficulty making an connection between cause and effect - have all worn us down.
He takes multiple medications and has no issues with compliance.
We're looking for a minimum of an extended period of respite, but possibly with the goal of long-term guardianship, or possibly, disruption if all parties seem comfortable with that.
I think he'd do best as an only child to mature, experienced parents, or certainly the youngest in a home where older children can model appropriate behaviours. We will not consider homes that have children more than 2 years younger than him. There must be 2 parents as a single individual would be burned out. One parent should preferably either be a homemaker or have very flexible work hours.
It would be great if the family had animals/pets and perhaps acreage and lots of expectations when it comes to chores/physical labor. He is most comfortable when he is busy. Hard work suits him. We dreamed of finding him work on a farm where he could learn some marketable skills, discipline, love and compassion for beings entrusted in our care, etc but after an exhaustive 3-year search, we never turned up anything even remotely similar.
Our boy requires structures. He thrives on routines.
We love him dearly and I write this post with great difficulty. But to say we're burned out is an understatement. We're depleted emotionally, financially, spiritually.
He has Title IV Medicaid here in NC and we should be able to transfer it if necessary. We can also pay a small monthly stipend.
I sincerely think he'd do quite well, with a different set of circumstances.
Please contact me if you think you'd like to learn more about our son.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
",954,Need respite for biracial teen,11/10/2009 5:19,89,16,1,No,,Yes 87,Non-agency facilitator,"Hi all,
I am writing to gain information for a friend of mine. She is a single mom with 5 children, two bio teenagers, 2 adopted 3 year olds, and one adopted 7 year old girl. The 7 year old was adopted from Vietnam in Jan of 2009. The mother is gathering information about possible disruption of the 7 year old, we live in Michigan. There of course, are attachment issues and a possible genetic issue, that is currently being explored. This mother, is trying her best, but it seems as if the entire family is suffering because of the behavior of the 7 year. They have been working with a therapist but the mom is not sure she can continue to parent the 7 year old.
She is exploring all options and I am just looking to help her gather information about what those options may be.
Thank you, [name redacted]
",961,Questions about disruption in Michigan,11/11/2009 10:20,90,7,2,Yes,,Yes 88,,"Hi, There is a almost 12 year old girl on the [organization redacted] website that is available through disruption. She came to the US from China in Dec. 2008. You can see her on the [organization redacted] website and you can get the password through their website as well. I don't know anything about the agency but thought I would put it out there in case anyone is looking for a daughter this age. The info. also says There are no adoption fees.There is a $250 application fee, post placement fee , finalization fee and the cost of travel domestically. Hope this helps someone find their daughter. Blessings, [name redacted]
",969,12 Year old girl on [organization redacted] site available through disruption,11/13/2009 8:35,91,11,2,Yes,,Yes 90,Adoptive parent,"Very pretty 10 yr old girl adopted at 7.5yrs old from China. Has Cerebral Palsy. Emotional age about 5yrs old. We are disrupting due to lack of bonding and need to find her a new family ASAP. Prefer home-study ready family, special education experience a plus. She loves her special-ed teacher and classroom environment and is the teacher's favorite. She needs to be in a new home before Christmas. Private adoption through Quad A lawyer. For more information, email privately to [email address redacted]...
",984,Disrupting - 10yr old girl - Bonding issues,11/24/2009 13:58,93,10,2,Yes,,Yes 92,Adoptive parent,"12 year old Haitian boy non violent, not sexually aggressive. Loving, hard worker, smart, respectful but is not happy with a sheltered Christian lifestyle. I do not think the next 6 years of his life here will grow him or us. Deeply heartbroken to post this. Please email me privately for more info. Humbly, [name redacted]
",1002,disruption in WI,12/14/2009 13:21,98,12,1,Yes,,Yes 93,,I am at my wits end and just need advice. We have 8 children 4 biological children the oldest is 24 and the youngest is 18 all doing well. We also have 4 adopted children the first three are doing fabulous all adopted at different times over the past 5 years. The last one we adopted 5 months ago is not doing well. She is a beautiful blonde blue eyed 16 year old but she is miserable with us and is turning our youngest a 13 year old into a case of nerves. They fight constantly not in front of us we don't allow it but it is constant be hind our backs. She says hateful things to the 13 year old. Her palatable hatred for the youngest permeates everything. This isn't an ordinary squabble it is raw unadulterated hatred. It is breaking my heart but It is spoiling everything we do and it is affecting our normally cheerful 13 year old and the entire family. This girl loves kids her own age and is very peer dependent loves younger children and is so sweet with them but really struggles with kids only a few years younger.She is very good with my elderly mother. She is very helpful around the house. She has a gorgeous voice and we are giving her voice lessons and we have bought her a piano for Christmas.We have had several counseling sessions with the girls to no avail. Last night our other very sweet 16 year old daughter said I think [initial redacted] is very unhappy here and I get along fine with her but she is always unhappy. She said this is affecting our family and we don't like it. So here is my question would it be better since it is still early to try and find another situation? She is 16 I don't want to waste time since she is older at finding her a loving place where she can be happy. She is not a bad girl she is very sweet but her unhappiness is killing me. She will not allow herself to be close to my husband and I and when asked she said we are wonderful it is her Iproblem that she has the wall. She thinks it's because she hates [initial redacted] so much she will never learn to like her and that affects everything for her. we are so tired of this but more importantly we truly feel this girl has so much potential that may never be realized in our family and situation. We have always wanted only what is best for our children and when we see how unhappy she is it breaks our hearts. We are not inexperienced parents and we have transitioned teens in before. I just don't know if we should waste more of her precious teen years in this unhealthy for her and our 13 year old situation or whether we continue to go on hoping it gets better. Please understand she is not a problem for her dad and I this is not about us it is about her misery at feeling so unhappy and displaced in our home. We have gently approached would she be happier in another family and she says she loves us but she stated emphatically that she will always hate [initial redacted] and that will never change she also didn't seem closed to the idea of another home but stated except for [initial redacted] she wants to stay here. Any advice? [name redacted],1057,Help,12/19/2009 7:59,99,16,2,,, 94,Adoptive parent,"Hi
We are considering disruption of our adoption of our 13 year old son. He was adopted from Russia at age 10. He has severe social, emotional and cognitive issues. At times his behaviors can be dangerous to himself or others around him. We have no idea where to begin.
Any help, suggestions, etc out there. Do we need a lawyer? Do we go through the probate court system?
Thanks [name redacted]
",1077,How do you start the disruption process?,12/30/2009 9:46,100,13,1,Yes,,Yes 97,Adoptive parent,"We went to her therapist today and was told that we are basically wasting our time as our newly adopted daughter doesn't want to work toward the relationship anyway. We don't need to schedule an appointment until she is going to participate.
I have really had enough. She refuses to take her meds, do well in school, will not stop calling her birth mother who excilates the situation.
She want out, I want out. Can't seem to get in touch with her AA worker to get her back in foster care.
Is this where we just have to call an attorney out of pocket?
[name redacted]
We are in a different state than she was adopted in also.
",1092,Tired of dealing with childs crap,1/26/2010 15:37,102,16,2,No,Physical, 98,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
We are a family in Michigan who is looking to re-home our almost 3 yr. old son. We brought him home from China this past July and since then we have had many, many issues. First off we had many problems with bonding and attachment, both on his part and ours but mainly with me. I have yet, as his mother, been able to form a bond or any attachment to him whatsoever. However, he appears to be better with this over the last 6 months but I am still reluctant to say that he has truly bonded with my husband or our daughter. Secondly, we knew he had special needs (premature birth, developmental delays) but there have been sensory issues, eating issues, defiance, stubborn attitude, and he is severely speech delayed. Even as a special ed. teacher, I have been unable to deal with all these issues. After dealing with students with cognitive delays at work all day, coming home to a child with these same delays has been more than I can bear.
We met with our social worker yesterday for our 6 mo. post placement and told her all the problems we are having and she thinks we are doing the best thing by re-homing him. I have been reading about disruption for months and am really new to all this so I have no idea what the process really is or what to do next. If anyone can help, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,
Mom in Michigan

",1106,Looking to re-home our son,1/31/2010 8:00,103,3,1,Yes,,Yes 99,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
We are a Colorado family who adopted two non-sibling teens (13 year old boy and 14 year old girl) from Ukraine last year. We have 3 bio-kids, 15 year old twins and a 12 year old.
Since returning to the US, we have encountered behavioral issues which were not readily apparent when we were in Ukraine, some potential learning disabilities and real difficulty in blending him into a family with 4 other siblings. In contrast, the 14 year old girl is transitioning much more smoothly so far.
There is significant stress in the home, affecting Mom most dramatically, but also affecting our bio-kids and even the 14 year old adopted girl. We are becoming more convinced that we may not be the best home for the boy as we find ourselves spending all of our time attending to his needs, and less and less time attending to the needs of the 4 other children.
We are going down a few parallel paths currently. First, we are seeking therapy for the family, mostly Mom and Dad, to understand how to provide the best possible care for all the kids, with obvious focus on the two adopted kids, and the boy in particular. Second, we are doing therapy evaluations with the boy to determine what issues can be diagnosed, if any. Third, we are exploring how a disruption works and what steps are required, if it ultimately comes to that.
The third path is what brings us here. It really seems like a home with fewer children where he can get the type of attention he needs would be better for him and give him the best opportunity to be successful. We're just prayerfully seeking the best for him and everyone in the family.
There's so much more to say, but this is already long enough. We welcome any questions that you may have. Thanks.
",1202,Options Being Explored,2/3/2010 19:35,104,13,1,Yes,, 101,Non-agency facilitator,"I know of a precious sibling group from Liberia that were adopted into the US and now need a new home. Boy, 8, Girl 10. Very polite, cute and interested in learning. Have a history of sexual abuse. If you, or someone you know may be interested, please contact me privately at [email address redacted]...
",1246,Sibling Group from Liberia needs new home,2/24/2010 20:17,106,8,1,Yes,Sexual, 280,Non-agency facilitator,"I know of a precious sibling group from Liberia that were adopted into the US and now need a new home. Boy, 8, Girl 10. Very polite, cute and interested in learning. Have a history of sexual abuse. If you, or someone you know may be interested, please contact me privately at [email address redacted]...
",1246,Sibling Group from Liberia needs new home,2/24/2010 20:17,107,10,2,Yes,Sexual, 103,Adoptive parent,"Hi,
My husband and I are in need of a new home for our nearly 8 year old adopted Haitian daughter. Emotionally she is an infant and we do not have the resources to give her what she is in need of. She needs a stay at home mom that is able to be with her 24/7. Ideally, she would be an only child or the youngest of independent and self-sufficient adolescents/ young adults. Please let me know if you might be interested in adopting her.
Thanks, [name redacted]
",1297,looking for home,3/16/2010 11:45,109,8,2,Yes,Sexual,Yes 104,Non-agency facilitator,"If anyone is interested...this family is looking for help: contact me for further details. [initial redacted] is 13 and from liberia. She refuses to obey rules, doesn't want to be w/us and doesn't feel she needs parents. She has whole family (2 adults and 6 chilren) in constant state of turmoil. Small children fear her. We can't trust her, she lies and steals. She has never bonded in 9 years w/us. ",1298,(No subject),3/16/2010 13:19,110,13,2,Yes,, 105,Non-agency facilitator,"
Hello [name redacted], Welcome to the group. A few days ago was this post. Good Luck! [name redacted] [email redacted] Date: Saturday, March 13, 2010 3:21:31 PM GMT-0600
Disrupion--5 year old boy adopted from China 2 years ago

I have a friend who is ready to disrupt their adoption of their son who is 5 and was adopted 2 years ago from China. He has ceft lip/ palate and she feels he has RAD. He does not have an official diagnosis and they have had trouble getting support where they are in FL. She is anxious to talk with families that would consider adding him to their family. They moved shortly after his adoption and they have no family and few if any friend near by for support and has really struggled. I'm not really sure if it's all his behaiors or more of a combination of move, financial struggles, no support, other children, etc. However the environment as it is is not health for any of them and she hopes to find a home soon.

Please email me and I can get you in contact with her to discuss further if truly interested

Blessings
[name redacted]

",1306,Introduction,3/16/2010 20:39,112,5,1,Yes,,Yes 107,,2 sibling girls adopted from Eastern Europe 4 months ago are in need of a forever family. They are ages 5 and 6 with some delays.
,1310,New home needed,3/18/2010 13:20,113,5,2,Yes,, 106,,2 sibling girls adopted from Eastern Europe 4 months ago are in need of a forever family. They are ages 5 and 6 with some delays.
,1310,New home needed,3/18/2010 13:20,114,6,2,Yes,, 110,,"Hi - I received info. about some children needing to be re-homed. If you want any further info., please contact the agency directly. I have never worked with this agency, just passing the info. on in hopes of helping these children find their forever families. Blessing!
[initial redacted] and [initial redacted]: These boys are twins, five and a half years old, adopted from Moldova in 2006. They are currently in a home with five other siblings, and the environment is not conducive to meeting their needs. They are two adorable little boys and are basically physically healthy (one of them has Strabismus, and may need surgery on his left eye later in life). They have both been diagnosed with Disruptive Disorder at this point. Looking for a smaller family, where they can receive the individual attention they need to thrive.
[initial redacted]: Just turned 13. He was adopted from Brazil in 2004. A sweet boy, whose adoptive family is coming through a difficult time, and he has been placed in private foster care for the past several months. He gets along well with father figures, so preferably looking for a family with a strong father figure involved. He also would probably thrive in a smaller family, with no more than 2-3 other children. He needs to be in a home where he can be loved and appreciated. He is great at doing his chores and helping out around the house.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. He is almost 13 and was adopted from Russia in 1998, when he was seven months old. Has some attachment issues. I can get you more information next week, after I have spoke with his counselors.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. Just turned 7, adopted from Russia when he was eight months old. He has gone through some traumatic circumstances since his adoption. Has attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, and also possible OCD. We will have more information on him next week, after the assessment is completed.
If you would like anymore information on any of these great little kiddos, please let me know! As I stated earlier, please feel free to pass this information along if you know someone else that might be interested!
Thanks!
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
[organization name redacted]
[address redacted]
[address redacted]
[email address redacted]
Work: [phone number redacted]
Cell: [phone number redacted]


",1274,Available children,3/3/2010 14:54,115,7,1,Yes,Both,Yes 109,,"Hi - I received info. about some children needing to be re-homed. If you want any further info., please contact the agency directly. I have never worked with this agency, just passing the info. on in hopes of helping these children find their forever families. Blessing!
[initial redacted] and [initial redacted]: These boys are twins, five and a half years old, adopted from Moldova in 2006. They are currently in a home with five other siblings, and the environment is not conducive to meeting their needs. They are two adorable little boys and are basically physically healthy (one of them has Strabismus, and may need surgery on his left eye later in life). They have both been diagnosed with Disruptive Disorder at this point. Looking for a smaller family, where they can receive the individual attention they need to thrive.
[initial redacted]: Just turned 13. He was adopted from Brazil in 2004. A sweet boy, whose adoptive family is coming through a difficult time, and he has been placed in private foster care for the past several months. He gets along well with father figures, so preferably looking for a family with a strong father figure involved. He also would probably thrive in a smaller family, with no more than 2-3 other children. He needs to be in a home where he can be loved and appreciated. He is great at doing his chores and helping out around the house.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. He is almost 13 and was adopted from Russia in 1998, when he was seven months old. Has some attachment issues. I can get you more information next week, after I have spoke with his counselors.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. Just turned 7, adopted from Russia when he was eight months old. He has gone through some traumatic circumstances since his adoption. Has attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, and also possible OCD. We will have more information on him next week, after the assessment is completed.
If you would like anymore information on any of these great little kiddos, please let me know! As I stated earlier, please feel free to pass this information along if you know someone else that might be interested!
Thanks!
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
[organization name redacted]
[address redacted]
[address redacted]
[email address redacted]
Work: [phone number redacted]
Cell: [phone number redacted]


",1274,Available children,3/3/2010 14:54,116,12,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 291,,"I just wanted to forward these situations in case anyone is interested. I have no affiliation with this agency but just passing along the info. in hopes of helping the children find their families. Please contact the agency directly as I have no further info. - just told the agency that I would post the info. for them. Blessings!!
I wanted to inform you that we have several cases that we are currently seeking placements for.
[initial redacted] is a six year old boy, adopted from Russia in 2003. He has encountered some difficult situations since his placement six years ago, including his adoptive father leaving he and his mother, his mother remarrying, and having two biological children with her husband. He has seizures, but has no issues, as long as he is taking his medicine. He has been diagnosed with RAD and ADHD, and possibly anxiety. He also exhibits some OCD traits, but it is difficult to diagnose at such a young age. While not diagnosed as sexually reactive, he will play with himself. He attempted to play doctor with his younger sister in September, and has been living with his grandparents since that incident. He loves baseball, basketball, and to do puzzles. He is also very curious and enjoys taking things apart and trying to figure out how they work. Due to his possible OCD, he is very neat and likes his things to be organized. He is also very giving and shares well. We are looking for a loving, Christian family with no younger children and a lot of structure. He also interacts well with older kids and teenagers.
[initial redacted] is an 11 year old boy, adopted from Russia in 1998. He has an older biological sister, and a younger biological brother. He has been diagnosed with RAD and ADHD, and possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He has been seen by several therapists. He gets along well with other children and, outside of the home, can be very cute, funny, charming, and well-mannered. However, he has difficulties at home. Like most children with RAD, he likes to control his surroundings and environment. When he is not in control, he gets upset and will punch or kick the wall or doors. He has been physical with his younger brother and mother a couple of times. He loves hands-on things, especially legos! He also baseball and playing outside (riding his bike, fishing, etc.). We are looking for a Christian family, with structure and routine. He interacts well with males, and so a strong father figure is a definite positive!
[initial redacted] is a 13 year old boy adopted from Brazil, along with his two biological brothers, in 2004. Due to difficulties within the family, his adoptive parents are seeking a dissolution. He has been in foster care for the last year. He is a sweet boy, who is artistic and needs someone that he can connect with. He is very friendly and has a good personality and is a hard worker. He loves affection and attention. He has some issues with attachment, but these are minor. We are looking for a family with a strong father figure, that has structure and routine for this sweet young boy!
If you have any questions regarding these situations, or would like more information on these children, please let me know!
Sincerely, [name redacted] [organization redacted] [address redacted] [email redacted] Work: [phone number redacted] Cell: [phone number redacted]

",1314,New Homes Needed,3/19/2010 14:37,116,12,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 111,Adoptive parent,"I have not posted to this group yet, I just been watching others post hoping to find some answers. PLEASE listen to this advise. We adopted twice, first a sibling group of two with RAD it was a tough road and everyday brought something new. In the end things worked out and they are grown and on their own. THe second time we got a sibling group of 3 and for 5 years now we have lived in HE**. THe middle boy had been in residential treatment 3 years, behaivors: pee and poop anywhere even in shampoo, destroy property, stealing, lying, minipulating, hurting pets and worst of all strangeling 3 year old and going after 2 of my kids with a very large knife. The oldest boy we had arrested and refuse to take back because he molested the 5 year old badly enough the cop was ready to take care of him and my home was HIGHLY supervised. They find any oppertunity and are VERY manipulative. Now we still have the 9 year old girl. We have to lock up everything she finds her way around every alarm we have bought, she is always getting in toruble at school rules do not apply to her AT ALL. She destroys everything she owsn because she gets tired of it and wants something new. She has not shown the violance her brother did but has done little things to hurt the other chidren and the dogs yip once in a whie when she is supposedly just petting them. She has reported up for abuse, once because she had an itchy eye and didnt want to sit in the nurses office and another time because she was mad. The bad thing is she is a really cute litte girl and very quite when strangers are around and people fall in love with her. She puts on this act and people begin to blame us for the lack of a bond and see us as bad parents. I have lost friends and family over these kids. We have 10 other children and they are all very loving do really good in school are caring and responsible and headed for a happy successfy life, how bad a parent can I be. My other children are teriffic kids with big hearts but this little girl is doing something to them that tears me up inside. They have so much resentmant and dislike her so much. The compassion for her they used to have is totally gone and I know they will never adopt a child because of this experience. I joined this site in hope of finding an answer to finding her a new home with only older or no kids. We dont trust the system as they have called us bad parents to our faces because we wont take the two bays back into our home, we have been called cold and heartless. We cannot afford to hire a lawyer or go through an agency. We are stuck and at our end. This situation is not good for my family and not good gor this little girl. So my point is be careful and know wht you are getting into. People dont give up their kids like it is a pet they cant care for. There is a reason they are re-homeing them and I can tell you love is not enough to help these kids. [name redacted]

",1336,A word of caution.....,3/21/2010 9:34,118,9,2,,Physical, 112,Adoptive parent,"New to the group and wanted to introduce myself. My name is [name redacted]. My husband and I are facing the probable disruption of our sons adoption. We are deeply saddened and hurt and are looking for support, advice, friends, and possibly for potential families who would be well equipped to handle his physical and (more importantly) his very serious emotional/behavioral needs. We are still trying to find ways to help him stay here, also, but that is beginning to look both unwise and maybe even harmful.
",1357,Introduction (facing a possible disruption),3/22/2010 11:27,119,10,1,,,Yes 114,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
I just joined this group today.
After a long 27 months, I've accepted the fact that we need to find a new family for our 11 year old daughter ([initial redacted]) who was adopted from Russia at the end of 2007.
[initial redacted] is bright, motivated, artistic and gets good grades in school. She's been diagnosed with PTSD and RAD and displays many of the characteristics of RAD children including lying and stealing. She is NOT, however, violent and doesn't act out sexually.
While there are a long list of reasons why [initial redacted] hasn't attached to my wife and I as parents, [inital redacted]'s therapist thinks it's still possible for [inital redacted] to attach to the right family and that there's still time for her to form a solid attachment before she reaches the age when she needs to start preparing to be on her own.
Like I said earlier, I just joined this group today. I plan to go back and read previous posts, but in the meantime, any advice on how to start the rehoming process would be greatly appreciated.
[name redacted]
",1382,New Here,3/23/2010 18:57,121,11,2,Yes,,Yes 115,Adoptive parent,"We have came to the sad conclusion that we must disrupt the adoption of our eight year old son. After many hospitalizations, and PRFT placements we have determined that it is not in our families best interest to have [initial redacted]. in our home. We love him and hope that a family better suited for him can be found. Our son has had multiple diagnosis over the last several years. With much effort we have seen some improvement. We feel our son would do best in an experienced, small family home. When [initial redacted] is angery he tends to become agressive with smaller children.
",1405,rehoming our son,3/31/2010 13:39,122,8,1,,, 116,Adoptive parent,"Hello - This is scary, these first steps of admitting where we are. We adopted two children from Russia in 2005. At the time our son was 7 and our daughter was 6 - they are non-related and from different orphanages. We live in Colorado and were blessed to have pre-placement training with some of the best in the world of attachment. Of course, we listened, read many books and simply thought it couldn't happen to us...we're good parents...this is from a total lack of a parent knowing how to raise a child. There, I put it out there - we are idiots. It did happen to us - twice. Both our children have attachment disorders, although neither would be considered full blown RAD (by our therapist). The issues have been full force since day one although both kids cycle, of course. At this time, we are fully of the belief that our son would do better in another home. I'm not sure how much information I am supposed to share right here. He has only been violent 4 times in 4.5 years. He is angry, but it simmers under the surface. He had one incident with our dogs that would sway to the sexual side, but has not perputrated anything on another human. He passes at school, although is behind his grade level in every subject...he would greatly benefit from being held back a year in school. He is often a polite, kind child. However, he has not attached to us at all. And sadly, the attachment is not strong the other direction. He has so many strengths and we are heartbroken to hear him/see him choose to not use them. He's asked to leave our house...seems to want to leave our house and for years we've not thought about it... I think we are open to many ideas and yet we are clueless.
",1407,New to the board - looking for help,4/1/2010 7:53,123,12,1,Yes,Physical, 117,Adoptive parent,"Good Morning, I am so happy to have found this site. [Name redacted]'s post sure touched me.. I feel like I'm reading my own post. I also have a hard time admitting and then writing down, what my husband and I are thinking. We have been married 25 yrs. We adopted our daughter from Ukraine 8 years ago when she was 26mos. She has ADHD and Attachment disorder. We also read the books, went to meetings,, did everything and really thought we were prepared.. even though people warned us.. I wish I had listened. We want to dissolve our adoptiong and feel guilty and like failures.. but we are also trying to protect our marriage and our son. Things are getting worse daily. Its like living in Alice in Wonderland at The Mad Hatters Tea Party. You think things are going well and Oh no.. theyre simmering.. shes doing stuff.. you just dont realize it.. and then it all comes to light. I have contacted [name redacted] at [organization redacted].. She seems really nice and the place seems like a God Send.. I just dont know how to afford it... I look forward to reading others posts. I am worried that someone is going to judge me and write something bad. I am sorry in advance.
",1417,New to The Board Also,4/3/2010 5:57,124,10,2,Yes,,Yes 118,Adoptive parent,"We have a 13 yo daughter adopted from Liberia. We also have 3 other adopted children and 2 bio. Our 13 yo daughter is RAD. We have had her since she was 4. She is a great student (honor roll), great athlete (basketball, track, cross country). She works independently and does school work w/o prompting (except she often waits til last minute, like most other kids). She is very attractive and has good hygiene, keeps herself and her space clean. She makes friends easily. Everyone loves her. But we see a different girl at home. She is nasty. Jealous of siblings. She has never bonded w/us. She tells us she doesn't want to be here. Where do we find a family who might be interested in taking her? Either for respite or permanantly? We live in Ohio. [name redacted] ",1452,help/advice needed,4/5/2010 8:02,125,13,2,Yes,,Yes 119,Adoptive parent,"My son is in need of a home where there are two parents that are able to provide a lot of 1 on 1 guidance. He would do best in a home where there are no very young children.. He is 15 years old, and has FAS.
I am not familiar with this whole group thing. It is new to me. I'm still not quite sure how to contact individual members without everyone else reading what I'm saying. Can someone clue me in.
Thanks
",1586,Loving home needed..,4/24/2010 13:59,127,15,1,,,Yes 120,Non-agency facilitator,"I have some friends who are parents to a 16-year-old girl adopted 5 years ago from Russia. The situation as it currently stands is quite grave and they need help. The [initials redacted] is acting out sexually, has tried to kill herself twice, has stolen a car, lies, does not go to school, and on and on I could go. The family is completely traumatized. They need HELP. Does anyone have any suggestions for resources for this family? Ideally, they need a safe place for their daughter to live and receive therapy. It would need to be very supervised. Anyone know of boarding schools, etc.? PS They don't have much money and can't afford the ranch in Montana.
",1596,SOS-Help Needed,4/27/2010 8:13,128,16,2,Yes,,Yes 121,Non-agency facilitator," 10-year-old boy with cerebral palsy and learning delay, looking for forever family immediately. [initial redacted] is 10 years old. He was adopted from Ukraine summer of 2009. We live in Alabama. [initial redacted] is a very handsome boy with a beautiful smile, and is mostly passive around adults. He likes attention, cartoons, toys and car trips. He enjoys tossing a ball back and fourth with our oldest son. He loves dogs and cats and is good with them.
He has moderate C.P and possibly some degree of intellectual / learning disability. He is non verbal and non ambulatory at this time, though he has great potential to improve. He has deep emotional problems which were not disclosed to us before the adoption, and which we are not able to deal with.
[initial redacted] has been very emotionally non responsive, self-centered and has outbursts of extreme frustration. We feel that he has no bond whatsoever with anyone in our home, so it is possible that he has RAD. (Undiagnosed)
[initial redacted] is actually a quick learner, but unwilling to do most tasks presented to him (can partially dress himself, etc, if you keep after him about it). He also gets along fine with kids older than himself.
We feel that he needs a family with no very small children (we have 3 children under the age of 5) as he is aggressive with them. We have not been able to allocate mental health services for him in Alabama, despite our best effort. Because of his aggressiveness, he is a bad match for us due to the babies in our home. (grabbing and pulling their legs, pushing, etc..) I really think he could do well given the right services and lots and lots of patience and one-on-one attention.
We really hope that there is a special family out there, chosen by God, to help [initial redacted] reach his full potential and become the young man he was intended to be. We desperately need a home-study-ready family for [initial redacted] by mid June, who can bring him into their home right away. If you feel this might be you, please email me at
[email redacted] for pics and more info. ",1604,10 yr CC Boy w/CP in AL for Private Adoption ASAP,4/28/2010 11:44,129,10,1,Yes,,Yes 122,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I am new to this group. We adopted a little boy last year from Russia. He just turned 4 in April. I am looking for more information on adoption attorneys in Florida (where we live) who could assist us with finding a new forever family for him and processing it all legally. Also wondering if anyone on this board is looking to add such a child to their family. We would want to go through all the regular channels and make sure whichever family we find is very good for him. Overall, he is actually a good boy, which makes it so much harder for us to say we do not want to be his parents. We felt from day 1 when we met him in the orphanage that he just was not the right child for us, but felt pressured to move forward anyway. Long story short, we do not love this child and know that he deserves to have truly loving and committed parent(s). He has attached very well to us, so IMHO, we don't think he has RAD. His birth information (weight, height, circumferences for head, chest, etc.) were all totally normal (the same as our healthy, biological kids) so it is our guess that he does not have FASD. We are told however, that there are no guarantees, so we cannot say for sure. He has no FAS facial features. He was born with club feet, which were fully corrected in Russia with casting and surgery. So he has no remaining issues according to the pediatric orthopedic doctor. We believe (a guess) that his mother had intended to keep him, but he was also born with amniotic band syndrome (ABS) affecting some of the fingers on both of his hands and 2 toes joined together by skin on one foot. The middle 3 fingers on each of his hands are malformed/misshapen or small. (You can Google ABS to learn more about it.) He has no problems whatsoever in using his hands though. We had him evaluated by an occupational therapist, and he could do everything age appropriate. He can put his shoes on, dress himself, feed himself, hold a pencil, play with toys, ride a bike, etc. After a little while, you forget all about his fingers. Cosmetically they could probably use some surgery. So those are all the basics. I would be happy to hear from others who have disrupted their international adoption or those who may be interested in learning more about this little boy. He has behavioral issues, but I am embarrassed to say (after reading what so many other APs have been through) that his are surprisingly mild. But they are enough for us, and we feel it's in his best interest to have a great family to love him, not one who is just going through the motions. It is certainly a bizarre feeling to go through all that is involved with an adoption, only to have the child attach to us and we not attach to him! We are open to respite as well, especially with a family that may be interested in adopting him. Anyway, thanks - I know this was a long post.
Thanks, [name redacted]

",1627,New - need forever family for 4 year old Russian boy & need info on FL lawyer,5/1/2010 8:24,130,4,1,Yes,,Yes 123,,"Hi all, I've been made aware of a little guy from our agency that needs a new home. This is some of the info I have:
[name redacted] is age 10. He is the second child in the family adopted from Guatemala. He was adopted at age 19 months. [name redacted]'s mother had seen him in Guatemala when the parents were adopting their daughter, so after the girl's adoption, they began [name redacted]'s adoption. [name redacted] and his sister are 6 weeks apart in age so this was a virtual twin adoption. The mother went down to visit him 3 times during the adoption process. Her impression was that the foster home was run poorly, with children isolated from each other and little personal attention to each child and no toys. After his adoption, [name redacted] was enrolled in a Montessori school then was asked to leave due to his behavior. [name redacted]'s mother suffers with severe clincal depression and during [name redacted]'s young years would spend all day sleeping and only see her children one hour a day. [name redacted]'s father took off work for six months to try to take care of the situation, but the mother was and is not improving. The father told us that his mother resents him and has now not seen him in several years. He was diagnosed with RAD. His father says that on the RAD spectrum, he does not consider [name redacted] severe. [name redacted]'s father relays that the mother would not follow advice on raising a child with RAD. [name redacted] was sent to an aunt in Chicago for 1 year in 2007-2008 for temporary respite for his mother. Then in Dec. 2008, [name redacted] was placed in a group home in Missouri where there was strict structure, and he learned to function within the system. While at this group home, there was an allegation that one of the older students sexually abused [name redacted] on one occasion. Missouri took custody of [name redacted] and put him into a temporary group home situation. Currently [name redacted] is in a therapeutic ranch setting for adopted children who are struggling. Reports from this ranch are included below as updates. According to his father, [name redacted] has had trouble making friends. He does name calling and does not seem to initiate or know how to have 2-way interaction with other children. He is not currently on any medication. He does not harm himself and is not cruel or violent. There are no reports of him perpetrating sexual abuse on others. [name redacted] is generally respectful to adults but is verbally hard on other children. For this reason, [name redacted] needs a home where he is the youngest child. COSTS: There is a private grant of $5000 for the adoptive family to help with below costs. $200 application fee $2500 agency fee Whatever it costs in your state for homestudy, ICPC and finalization. Flight to [name redacted]'s home state of TX and possibly one night stay there.
There is a lot more information and a picture. Please send all questions, etc to [email address redacted]. The agency facilitating this adoption is [organization redacted].
[name redacted]
",1699,New Home Needed,5/10/2010 6:34,131,10,1,Yes,Sexual,Yes 124,Adoptive parent,"I can't seem to get any answers from my daughters therapis or the private agency I went through on how to disrupt my domestic adoption. I adopted a child from foster care when she was 9 1/2. She is now 11 and is to big and violent for me to manage. Can someone tell me how to proceed to disruption?
She is temporarily in Kingswood hospital after attacking me in the car with a board she usually does her homework on. Kingswood is a short placement and she is simply too violent to go back home.
Please help.
[initials redacted]
",1709,Help with Disruption,5/16/2010 16:44,132,11,2,No,Physical, 125,Non-agency facilitator,"I am helping a friend find a new family for her daughter. Please only contact me if you are very seriously interested. They live in Utah.
[name redacted]:
Pre-Adoption History:
[name redacted] was born [month and day redacted], 2004 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. She was born to a single mother who later died of AIDS when [name redacted] was 2 1/2. [name redacted]'s grandparents were able to raise her for another year before they placed her in [organization redacted] orphanage where they could manage her HIV+ status. [name redacted] lived at [organization redacted] for only 9 months.
Post Adoption History:
Since [name redacted] has been in the United States, she has had her tonsils and adenoids removed as well as extensive dental work. She has also had quarterly visits with an infectious disease specialist who monitors her HIV status. So far, she has been really healthy and doesn't require the HIV medicine - yet.
In January of 2010, [name redacted] was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). For RAD, she has been seeing a specialized RAD therapist, has been doing horse riding therapy and just recently started attending a specialized school for kids with behavioral issues.
Behaviors:
Negative: Almost immediately after being adopted, [name redacted] showed some sexualized behaviors toward her adoptive mother and younger sister. She also self stimulates under stress. She was placed in a respite home for all of April, 2010 and molested 4 younger children in that home. Transitions and changes make her anxious which seems to magnify her sexual reactions.
RAD is a very confusing disorder for those who aren't familiar with it. To the outside world, [name redacted] is very engaging, cute, bubbly, and charming. In reality, all these behaviors are a form of manipulation that is brought on by past trauma and her need to survive. The manipulation is a form of control that keeps her safe in her own mind. As opposed to most RAD cases, [name redacted] is not destructive or violent. She is the opposite - sticky sweet and sappy sad and emotional. With the RAD, [name redacted] is not deeply attached to anyone or anything.
Positive: [name redacted] is very bright and intelligent. She picked up English in 3 months. She has the ability to be very nurturing and intuitive. She loves to dance and sing... and we consider these to be natural talents. A lot of these positive attributes stem from her RAD. She is hyper-vigilant when it comes to her environment. She often listens and understands, even when you don't think she is paying attention. Being that most of her positive qualities stem from the RAD diagnosis, we believe with the right treatment, these qualities will turn out to be her real personality and greatest strengths.
On occasion, we have seen the real [name redacted]. She is screaming inside to be a good kid who wants to love a family. Her past trauma is just preventing that from becoming a reality at the moment.
Our Expectations for [name redacted]'s new family:
[name redacted]'s new family needs to be educated in RAD and understands boundaries and limits. With her sexualized behavior, it is un-safe for HER to be around younger children and even children her own age or a little older. She needs to heal from the trauma she's faced. Older siblings (no siblings under the age of 13) would be good to have, but they need to be educated and understand what having a sexualized younger sister means. The family needs to be an experienced family with the resources and willingness to provide the therapy and tools [name redacted] needs to heal. [name redacted] may not be safe in a standard school system right away.
As a placement family, we are only interested in the best interests for [name redacted]. We are open to communicating with potential adoptive parents who we feel could be a good match for her. We are dedicated to a smooth transition and even help down the road as needed if it is within our means.


",1713,Looking for a New Family,5/17/2010 17:09,133,5,2,Yes,Sexual,Yes 126,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
We have an 11yo daughter with great potential to be part of a family who is accepting and knowledgeable of a child with RAD.
She was adopted 3.5 years ago at 7yo from Ukraine.
We have exhausted all available intervention services in our part of NYS. She was placed in a therapeutic group home a month ago in order to address her RAD and behavioral needs.
She is bright and intelligent and does not receive any specialized services in school. Her behaviors outside of the home are typical of a RAD child, polite, engaging and willing to please.
She would do best as an only child or the youngest child.
Please email me privately if you would like to discuss this further.
[name redacted]
",1716,11 year old girl,5/22/2010 11:05,134,11,2,Yes,,Yes 127,Adoptive parent,"We are strongly considering disrupting, actually dissoluting our adoption. We feel as though we have no other choice. We've tried different therapists, psychiatrists, and psychiatric residential treatment facility.
",1715,Disrupting an Adoption,5/22/2010 8:19,135,7,1,,Physical,Yes 129,Non-agency facilitator,"I have another friend who needs help finding a new family for her children (when it rains it pours). Please only contact me if you are seriously interested and I will put you in touch with the mother. Thanks!
[name redacted]
[name redacted] is ten years old. (Her Ethiopian birth certificate says ten, though we think she's closer to twelve). She speaks and understands English very well. She's a smart, affectionate, energetic girl who is full of life and energy. She loves to do anything outdoors: riding her bike and scooter, playing basketball, soccer, jumping on the trampoline, and running. She's very good at watching out for her younger brother, and making sure he's well taken care of. She needs a chance to have fun and be a kid, as she's always had to take on the mother role. [name redacted] has issues with attachment, such as being manipulative if she thinks it will get her what she wants, trying to triangulate parents, and forming superficial bonds with people she thinks will give her things. She is strong-willed, and can be aggressive if she doesn't get what she wants. [name redacted] has also acted out sexually to older males in the home. She will need to be monitored and will need extensive therapy. An ideal home would be one with no younger children, and with experienced adoptive parents knowledgeable in areas of attachment and experienced with parenting older adoptive children. [name redacted] loves to dance and sing, and is quite talented in both areas. She's good at helping out around the house. Sometimes she complains when reminded about chores, like most ten year olds. But once she gets going, she does a great job.
[name redacted] is seven years old. He also speaks and understands English very well. He's a handsome, sweet, affectionate, energetic boy with an impish grin and laugh. He's mischievous, and loves to make others laugh. He loves to help out around the house - often without being asked. And he loves to give and receive affection. Like his sister, he loves to do almost anything outside: play soccer, play basketball, ride his bike, jump on the trampoline - you name it. He's also very smart. He is making great strides in reading English. He's good at math and writing, and his penmanship is amazing for a seven year old. He loves to sing and dance, and has a great, natural rhythm for being so young. Like his sister, [name redacted] is strong-willed. If he doesn't get his way, he can get angry, and be aggressive. Again, patient parents who are experienced in parenting older adoptive children --- children who've dealt with attachment and trauma --- are ideal. Once [name redacted] can learn more effective ways to deal with and express his anger, he will thrive. He loves to color, he loves to have stories read to him, and he gives great hugs.
We would prefer to place both children together with the right homestudied family. But we will also consider placing them separately, under the right circumstances (for example, if visitation between the two families can be arranged, so the children can remain in contact).

",1730,Helping Another Friend Disrupt,5/23/2010 11:46,136,10,2,Yes,,Yes 128,Non-agency facilitator,"I have another friend who needs help finding a new family for her children (when it rains it pours). Please only contact me if you are seriously interested and I will put you in touch with the mother. Thanks!
[name redacted]
[name redacted] is ten years old. (Her Ethiopian birth certificate says ten, though we think she's closer to twelve). She speaks and understands English very well. She's a smart, affectionate, energetic girl who is full of life and energy. She loves to do anything outdoors: riding her bike and scooter, playing basketball, soccer, jumping on the trampoline, and running. She's very good at watching out for her younger brother, and making sure he's well taken care of. She needs a chance to have fun and be a kid, as she's always had to take on the mother role. [name redacted] has issues with attachment, such as being manipulative if she thinks it will get her what she wants, trying to triangulate parents, and forming superficial bonds with people she thinks will give her things. She is strong-willed, and can be aggressive if she doesn't get what she wants. [name redacted] has also acted out sexually to older males in the home. She will need to be monitored and will need extensive therapy. An ideal home would be one with no younger children, and with experienced adoptive parents knowledgeable in areas of attachment and experienced with parenting older adoptive children. [name redacted] loves to dance and sing, and is quite talented in both areas. She's good at helping out around the house. Sometimes she complains when reminded about chores, like most ten year olds. But once she gets going, she does a great job.
[name redacted] is seven years old. He also speaks and understands English very well. He's a handsome, sweet, affectionate, energetic boy with an impish grin and laugh. He's mischievous, and loves to make others laugh. He loves to help out around the house - often without being asked. And he loves to give and receive affection. Like his sister, he loves to do almost anything outside: play soccer, play basketball, ride his bike, jump on the trampoline - you name it. He's also very smart. He is making great strides in reading English. He's good at math and writing, and his penmanship is amazing for a seven year old. He loves to sing and dance, and has a great, natural rhythm for being so young. Like his sister, [name redacted] is strong-willed. If he doesn't get his way, he can get angry, and be aggressive. Again, patient parents who are experienced in parenting older adoptive children --- children who've dealt with attachment and trauma --- are ideal. Once [name redacted] can learn more effective ways to deal with and express his anger, he will thrive. He loves to color, he loves to have stories read to him, and he gives great hugs.
We would prefer to place both children together with the right homestudied family. But we will also consider placing them separately, under the right circumstances (for example, if visitation between the two families can be arranged, so the children can remain in contact).

",1730,Helping Another Friend Disrupt,5/23/2010 11:46,137,7,1,Yes,, 131,Adoptive parent,"Hi everyone,
We are the parents of 2 adopted girls (ages 8,11 from Liberia). We also have 8 bio. children and just found out we are expecting. Our adopted daughter's are a handful quite often (RAD in th 8 yo and some major hormonal imbalances in the 11yo).
Anyway, due to the fact that I am expecting, I can see the need for possible respite care during the morning sickness phase. Does anyone know of anyone in our area (Lehigh Valley/Allentown area)? Preferably Christian based organization or family with experience in attachment issues. Both of our girls lie quite frequently (mostly about the family members they aren't happy with at the time...i.e. Mom, big brother grabbed me by the throat when he only patted her back!) and triangulate, and have wetting/pooping and food issues so understanding in these areas would be a must.
You can email me with any info. at [email redacted] --Thanks and have a great night!
[name redacted] [website redacted]
",1738,Respite care in Lehigh Valley PA??,5/25/2010 16:17,138,8,2,Yes,,Yes 130,Adoptive parent,"Hi everyone,
We are the parents of 2 adopted girls (ages 8,11 from Liberia). We also have 8 bio. children and just found out we are expecting. Our adopted daughter's are a handful quite often (RAD in th 8 yo and some major hormonal imbalances in the 11yo).
Anyway, due to the fact that I am expecting, I can see the need for possible respite care during the morning sickness phase. Does anyone know of anyone in our area (Lehigh Valley/Allentown area)? Preferably Christian based organization or family with experience in attachment issues. Both of our girls lie quite frequently (mostly about the family members they aren't happy with at the time...i.e. Mom, big brother grabbed me by the throat when he only patted her back!) and triangulate, and have wetting/pooping and food issues so understanding in these areas would be a must.
You can email me with any info. at [email redacted] --Thanks and have a great night!
[name redacted] [website redacted]
",1738,Respite care in Lehigh Valley PA??,5/25/2010 16:17,139,11,2,Yes,, 132,Adoptive parent,"I just got our 4 year Old boy from Haiti on Humanitarian parole in January. He is a great kid and I look at him and my heart breaks for him because I have failed to be the mm he needs.
First of all, when we decide to adopt, we know what we can handle and we ask for that so we can be prepared. When we started our journey, we asked for a child up to a year. Our son was 6 months at referal and our ageency told me he would be home by age 15 months and I was OK with that since that was young enough for me to handle. They hurried me through alot of the processes telling me if I did not hurry, the boy would be gone. (I still have the emails they wrote stating so). And of course I did not know that the Haiti process took years to complete. As he turned 3 and a half, I told me agency that I did not want to adopt him because he no longer a toddler or infant or an age I was comfortable with. They told me to bring him here and that they would help me if disruption was to be considered. We wanted him to be the first child but when it took so much time to get him, we started our own bio family and now we have a 2 YO daughter and a month old baby. ONe night about a month ago, he was playing house with my daughter and hugging on her...my husband thought it was cute but after baths (my husband bathed them together) My son took his hand and started touching my daughter. They did not see me there. So I spanked him and explained to both at the same time and separately that they should not allow anyone or each other to touch their privates. Afew days later, they were watching TV and he started kissing her on the face (at 4?). The first incidence left me wondering if it was jst curiosity; the second.....my mom wires just rose and I now cannot just bond with him. I care for him but I cannot bond with him as my child. ANd when I spoke with the social worker, she was supposed to come by but has not yet because of unforseen circumstances and the last day she was supposed to come, he was laying with her, hugging and they had their faces on each other but not kissing (and this has also happened today). We had sexual abuse in my family and I didnt (nor did my mom) know about it until recently when my sister revealed she was sexually molested by my cousins and an uncle and my brother was molested by my moms brother...people that my mom trusted to take care of us. How can I take this sweet little boy and wait for him to grow up and have sex with my daughters or son before I get him out of my house? He is such a sweet little boy when he wants to be. BUT he can be defiant, has no fear of authority. Time out helps a little but behaviors are not corrected. He does the same thing over and over. He is destructive but he is a boy. He does not listen to his father even though I think he is well bonded to him and very slightly to me. He knows certain behaviors will not be tolerated but has noticed that when we discipline my daughter, we try to reason with her to teach her at 2 yrs, why we are giving her time out and sometimes we just explain why we dont want her to do something which if our son did, he gets time out because he understands and knows better....e.g playing with the door of the car and trying to open it while we are driving. So now when he wants to do something, he calls her out to do it with him. So we are constantly calling their names to stop and with a new born, this is becoming stressful. I had gestational hypertension and despite medications, my blood pressure has refused to go down and I think it is just stress. I hate my home because all we do is scream and now I am beginning to feel like a monster...hypervigilant to avoid him and my daughter being alone; him teaching my daughter dangerous behaviors and now my daughter parrots everything we say. We never wanted her to be saying some of the words we use now and never did use those words but now, when I am tired, they just come out. He hugs strangers in the store, is ready to go with my friends and a minutes notice whom he has never met and last weekend, he called a priest that came to our house, his papa. The girl that was with the priest asked him if he wanted to stay with me or my husband, he said no. He wanted to go with them. So when I said, well, pack your bags, he ran to do so. That was very puzzling. He is always in time out at school for hitting other kids though he does not jit my daughter. He takes things that are not his and states they are his when we visit friends and we are forced to make him take them back and offer an apology. Just recently, he took gum from a gas station but my husband saw him and told him to put it back. I am having a lot of difficulty trying to adjust as his mom and with a new born and a 2 YO, I cannot give him the attention he deserves. If he came as planned, he may have ended up as an only child but he would have been a child that we raised and maybe the sexual behavior and not listening to us would not be problems...I dont know. But I cannot take him in knowing that he could potentially abuse my kids in the near future. I do not want to wait until something happens. The 2 people in my family that were sexually abused are the least adjusted. I look at him and he needs a mama that will kiss him and his booboos; that will hug him, lift him and just love up on him. He is still a baby and needs those things and all I do is bark orders half the time and look like a police woman controlling traffic the other half trying to make sure boundaries are observed. That makes me really upset. If he did not have the sexual behaviors, I mayhave kept him longer trying therapy but as it stands, I cannot raise him. He would be perfect as an only child, or the youngest of the children (by at least 3-4 yrs) or an all boy family. I really need help because I dont think I can complete his adoption. I want him to experience having a mommy who loves him as she does her own. Any advice???
[name redacted]
",1744,Considering disruption,5/31/2010 20:54,140,4,1,Yes,Sexual, 134,,"We are trying desperately to find a home for these kiddos. They are just barely home 3 months from Ethiopia and right now it is a private adoption not through the state. It will cost only Homestudy and lawyer fees. Please if you are at all interested check out there profiles.
Guys are put on [website redacted] listed under [name redacted] and usa Make sure you contact [name redacted] who's listed not [name redacted] adoptions or myself. [name redacted]
",1789,10 year old girl 7 year old boy need home!!!,6/5/2010 10:27,141,10,2,Yes,, 133,,"We are trying desperately to find a home for these kiddos. They are just barely home 3 months from Ethiopia and right now it is a private adoption not through the state. It will cost only Homestudy and lawyer fees. Please if you are at all interested check out there profiles.
Guys are put on [website redacted] listed under [name redacted] and usa Make sure you contact [name redacted] who's listed not [name redacted] adoptions or myself. [name redacted]
",1789,10 year old girl 7 year old boy need home!!!,6/5/2010 10:27,142,7,1,Yes,, 135,Adoptive parent,"Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a family for my 11-year-old son. I'm heartbroken but the decision is made and final. In the short term I may need respite if anyone can provide it, preferably on the West Coast. But I'm looking to disrupt.
I adopted him from Russia three years ago. He is a beautiful child (blond/blue/average height for age), athletic, good at drawing, loves animals. But he's also suffered a lot of trauma in his life and it shows. He also has some learning/language disabilities, although he comes across to everyone as a smart and independent child in everyday life.
Please contact me for more information.
",1797,Need family for disruption and/or respite ASAP,6/15/2010 17:11,143,11,1,Yes,, 136,Adoptive parent,"Hello, we have a 13 year old girl that is RAD. We need some respite for her this summer. She presents as a brilliant, hard working, very mature kid when you don't have to try to be her parent! If anyone has any information, please let us know.
Thanks!
",1800,Need respite care in FL,6/18/2010 14:17,144,13,2,,,Yes 137,Adoptive parent," Our daughter was adopted by us from Ethiopia 16 months ago. She has RAD... non-violent but some crazy RAD!
If your interested please call me or email me and I can give you more information! I just don't have the energy to throw it all out there right now.
[name redacted] [phone number redacted]
",1815,Looking for a new Family for our 5 year old daughter,7/3/2010 8:16,145,5,2,Yes,,Yes 138,Adoptive parent,"Sounds a little odd, I know...
But we have a 1st grader with mild RAD from whom we truly need some respite. She has not been a good fit for our family (she has been home 2 years and is now 7)and I am wondering if anyone else out there is in the same boat and perhaps we could help one another out. We have found a good person to do respite for our daughter but a friend of mine suggested I post and just ask the question before we do anything....
We are homestudy approved and a [organization redacted] family. The ideal respite home would have no cats (she has shown cruelty to cats...dogs seem to be fine) and have attachment experience. We would be willing to take on a young child with mild RAD as well. We have a ton of experience with special needs, too.
Thanks...please email me if interested ASAP. [name redacted] [email redacted]
",1827,Anyone considering disruption/respite interested in swapping kids for a bit??,7/11/2010 13:05,146,7,2,,,Yes 139,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
I was referred to your group from the older-child adoption board. We have a 19 year old daughter that we adopted from Haiti almost three years ago who suffers from serious mental illness, (as well as other issues that stem from living in an orphanage for 12 years), that we are hoping to find a family for. We also have three young children in our home and we can no longer subject them to our daughter's difficult behaviors. Currently she is in a therapeutic residential treatment center, but it is only a temporary solution. We are hoping to find a loving home, without young children, where she can continue to get therapy and finish high school. Do you think that your group would be a suitable place for us to post our situation?
Thank you, [name redacted]
",1883,Permission to join,7/14/2010 12:00,147,19,2,Yes,,Yes 140,,"Re-Adoption situation for 13 year old boy from Asia, minimal fee I am writing to you from a non-profit adoption agency. We have a family that is no longer willing to parent their adoptive child from Asis and we are seeking a second family for him. His need for a new home is solely because of his adoptive parents' inability to attach to him,( it is their first adoption) not because of any behaviors on his part. This boy has bonded more easily with men than women...therefore ideal parents would be married couples, single fathers or single woman with older sons in the house. We are hoping to settle this 13 year old boy into a new family soon so he can start school. The costs will be minimum for the adoption as he is in the US ...and include fees for lawyer, transportation for you, transportation to take him to your home, medical exam, and naturalization. If you are interested in learning more please contact us. This re-adoption requires a current home study with current FBI and state child abuse clearances. Thank-you, [email address redacted] ([website redacted]) or [phone number redacted]
His short description: [name redacted] is a 13 year old boy who is the classic middle school late bloomer as he is still a little boy physically and developmentally. He arrived from Asia in January of this year. His need for a new home is solely because of his adoptive parents' inability to attach to him,( it is their first adoption) not because of any behaviors on his part. His adoptive mother says he is a sweet boy who wants a family. He is a quiet boy who has suffered several losses already in his life, including the loss of his mother and siblings in Asia. However, he is kind and eager to please. [name redacted] has been homeschooled and works at 7th grade level in math, and is working hard to learn English to be able to catch up in all subjects. [name redacted] is seen as bright by his adoptive family. He has no health issues, eats like a horse and enjoys playing soccer and X box. He played on a soccer team this spring. Another family who has observed him saw a very quiet, reserved boy who did not take risks and did not have much self confidence. His world has fallen apart several times, including rejection by his mother in Asia and now another rejection by the adoptive family. Understandably, [name redacted] is fragile and may need counseling after placement. He still misses Asia greatly. His trust level in a new home will be quite low. It would be ideal for [name redacted] to move before school begins in September, which means a homestudy ready family. While he has been homeschooled, attendance at school might be beneficial for him. He gets along well with younger children. The new family will need to be experienced with older children and adoption and COMMITTED to parent and love him no matter what.
Thank-you, [email redacted] ([website redacted]) or [phone number redacted]
",1945,"Re-Adoption situation for sweet 13 year old boy from Asia, minimal fee",8/9/2010 17:12,148,13,1,Yes,, 141,Adoptive parent,I have a 14 year old daughter I adopted from Haiti. Unfortunately we are needing to find a new family for her. Where do we start?
[name redacted]
,1955,Need to disrupt - where to start?,8/21/2010 17:47,149,14,2,Yes,, 163,Adoptive parent,I need to find a permanent home for my 15 year old daughter from Haiti. Two families have taken her in only to send her back. I have her bio sister and even she doesn't want her sister back. ,2875,15 yo back again,2/19/2011 9:14,149,14,2,Yes,, 268,Adoptive parent,"I have a 16 year old that came home from Haiti almost three years ago. We had her for about nine months. She was too much for us. She went to live with another family who sent her back after about four months and then another family had her for one month and this final family made it about 17 months. We need to find someone who would be willing to take her. Ideally someone with no kids in the home or at least very few. As far as I know none of the families seeked counseling for her, including us. Honestly we cannot deal with her for the amount of time counseling will take with her. I have eight other children, including her biological younger sister. None of us want her back. If you want more information feel free to email me privately. [name redacted]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
",4997,16 yo returned from yet another family,7/20/2012 0:00,149,14,2,Yes,, 142,Adoptive parent,We are trying to find a new home for our 11 year old son. He was born in Liberia and has been home 3 1/2 years. He has no violent or deviant behavior. Please contact us.
,1973,11 yr old boy,9/6/2010 13:10,150,11,1,Yes,, 143,Non-agency facilitator,"
Hi, I know a family in NC that is really struggling right now. The family is looking for an immediate out-of-home placement and is considering an adoption dissolution. They have reached out to all of the appropriate authorities. The teen in question has multiple dx. He's received extensive therapeutic interventions over the years, including residential placement. They are in a really, really bad place right now and I'm trying to steer them in the right direction. It's not a healthy situation for any of them. This morning Mom said, I just want him gone. She is at her wit's end. She has reached out to every resource you can think of and no one is willing to help at this juncture. What options does she have? She has called numerous attorneys and no one seems familiar with adoption disruption. If she puts him out, she is facing the probability of child abandonment charges. Please help. Any insight is appreciated. Thank you.
",1976,Family in NC needs help,9/7/2010 8:54,151,,1,,,Yes 144,,"Dear Families,
I represent [organization name redacted] and we have become aware of a current disruption of a 12 year old girl from China. The family is ready to disrupt immediately and our agency is making temporary foster arrangements.
The girl had been diagnosed with Hepatitis B prior to adoption. She has been in the US for approximately 3 months. She is a shy and sweet girl, but has exhibited some aggressive behavior towards her new family and the family feels it is best to disrupt at this time.
If you would like more information concerning her, please contact [name redacted] or [name redacted] at [phone number redacted] or respond privately to this post.
Thank you for helping to advocate for her.
-[name redacted] [organization name redacted]

",1990,12 year old girl from China available from disruption,9/10/2010 14:58,152,12,2,Yes,,Yes 145,Non-agency facilitator, Nine year old girl in need of a forever family where she would be the youngest. She was adopted from Ethiopia and has been in Oregon for 15 months. There is attachment issues. Looking for a ...family that is open to having a open adoption with first adopted family.
contact [name redacted] at [email redacted] for more information.
[name redacted]
,1996,Looking for a new family for a 9 year old girl,9/14/2010 16:16,153,9,2,Yes,,Yes 146,Adoptive parent,"I have a similar situation right now. I really need to find a place for our daughter to live for the next 7 weeks, and then she will turn 18 and she has a spot in a transitional living home in our area. She ran away for 10 days/nights and when she returned she went to a crisis shelter because she does not want to live with us right now. But the crisis shelter has set Sept. 24 as her last day there, and she does not turn 18 until the middle of November. She is doing very well at the shelter, and she will do very well in a different family. I don't want her to end up back on the street for seven weeks, and she refuses to come home. I have called just about every youth services program in our area, but none of them can take her, partly because she has a home and partly because we are employed and have our own insurance. The youth programs are only for those kids referred through the court system, or for families who live below the poverty line....it would cost us $6000 per month to put our daughter in the youth program that our state uses for low-income families. We can't afford to pay $6000 a month and we don't quailfy any other way. Our daughter is very smart, very sweet, and a good student. Does anyone know of an AFFORDABLE respite plan where she could live for 7 weeks, from Sept. 24 to the middle of November? Thanks, [name redacted]",2000,HELP NEED RESPITE FOR 17 YEAR OLD,9/15/2010 18:23,154,17,2,,, 147,Adoptive parent,"Hello everyone, My husband and I have made the very difficult decision to disrupt the adoption of our 12 year old daughter. She has been in our home for over 6 years, and we have worked very hard with her during that time. We are exhausted and she is unresponsive to us. Our situation just isn't the best to get her the help she really needs. Because of early trauma she is reactive in her behavior. She is NOT violent, but for other saftey reasons, she needs to be in a home without other children (much older or grown children are fine). She will need experienced parents who are willing and able to dedicate a lot of time and supervision to her. She is very smart, creative, and has unlimited potential! I firmly believe she will be responsive and do well in a new home. I have already contacted our adoption attorney, and we are looking to make a transition as soon as possible. Please, if you want more information, email me privately. You also have my permission to pass this information on to anyone in the adoption world who may know of a family appropriate for our daughter. Thank you in advance ~ [name redacted]
",2012,12 Year old Girl from Haiti,9/16/2010 8:54,155,12,2,Yes,, 149,Adoptive parent,"Would those who are interested in potentially adopting from our disruption please email me offlist? We have a 7 yo girl, healthy, not specifically diagnosed with RAD, but she was abandoned, and then lived in an orphanage in Addis Ababa for a year before we adopted her. We're so disappointed in our inability to effectively do this parenting thing with her. But we need to protect our youngest child. And we need to help her be part of a family where she can have a fresh start... a family where the adult(s) have experience with attachment challenged children, and she can be the youngest.

",2234,7 yo girl,10/14/2010 19:12,157,7,2,Yes,,Yes 286,,"Hello,
I am new to this group! I am a case worker for [name redacted] and we are trying to help one of our families find a new home for a child they are wishing to disrupt. He is a 8-9 year old boy from Ethiopia. He is now in the US and legally adopted. The family is seeking a home without children or with teenagers or older children in the home. This little boy has a very sad past with a history of abuse and needs help working through these issues. Please email me at [email redacted] for more information.
",2305,"New to Group, 8 year old boy available for adoption through disruption",10/27/2010 9:44,158,8,1,Yes,, 150,," ALL CHILDREN ARE FROM [website redacted] webiste CONTACT [organization redacted] or the Parents directly at their E-Mail addresses at the end of each profile [initial redacted] is 14 years old. She came to the U.S. from Liberia, West Africa, at 10 years of age to her first family. They had her 3 months and disrupted the adoption. We took her at that point. She has been with us almost 4 years. She lived with her biological mother until the age of 9 and has adult siblings, her mother, and other family in Liberia. She was the youngest of several children. She went from her mother's care to the ACFI mission at age 9 until adopted [initial redacted] is very helpful around the house, tidy, and volunteers to help with just about anything. She is a very hard worker and takes pride in her work. She has lived on a ranch with us, and has gained a lot of work-ethic. She likes to laugh and play and enjoys sports. She is grateful to have a family, and expresses her gratitude, but she really needs some therapy to learn to become part of a healthy family. I believe she has the capacity to be a very loving and someday healthy person in the right home. [initial redacted] likely has some R.A.D. issues from her time at the mission, which was very unsupervised. Many of the children were sexually acting out on each other. She is very quiet and soft spoken. She enjoys being around other children, but needs to go to a home where there are no other children, younger than her, or in any way vulnerable. She has done some things that would risk the health of one of our children, and has been physical with the youngest in our family (pushing, kicking, etc.) She has not acted out sexually although she did need to learn that exposing her body was not acceptable. Although she likes animals now, and is used to a large variety since coming to us, it is possible that she may take negative feelings out them. We do not have the support or resources to give [initial redacted] the help she needs. Good intentions and love are not enough, neither is strict supervision. She is manipulative and sneaky, and tells some outrageous lies. (Which is dangerous because she can seem incredibly sincere and truthful!) Typical of RAD, she seems to focus most of her negative behavior on the mother in the home. She will require a mother figure who is very strong, sure of herself, and supported emotionally. She has learned to hide unacceptable behavior very well, but has never really changed, except to get more and more withdrawn and quiet. [initial redacted] has not ever really become part of the family. Without being able to trust her, we have all had to be on constant guard and that has taken a toll in many ways. [initial redacted] is currently homeschooled and is able to read, but is only able to complete about 2nd grade level academics and maybe early 1st grade language arts. Ours is not that home and is no longer functioning as it once was. I believe she would do better in a home that has access to therapies and lots of loving support. [initial redacted] is physically very healthy and has been tested for the usual 3rd world country diseases and comes with a clean bill of health. Thank you, contact [email redacted] [name redacted] is a creative 12 year old who loves to sew, bead, do crafts, play soccer and read! [name redacted] was adopted from Haiti at age 5. Because of early years of neglect and some trauma, she is reactive in her behavior. Although she is not violent, it would be best if she was in a home with no children, or older children only, because she has inappropriate boundaries and exhibits some sexually reactive behavior. [name redacted] is passive aggressive in her behavior.. sneaky, manipulative, lying, stealing, she requires a lot of supervision. [name redacted] is currently in the 6th grade and does pretty good academically. She struggles just a bit in math, but in all other subjects she is at or above grade level. She is very smart and when she slows down and puts the effort into her work, she does very well. Socially [name redacted] struggles at school. She doesn't have many friends as she doesn't really know how to act properly around peers. [name redacted] works hard at pushing people away. In the six years she has been in our home, she has not let her guard down enough to allow herself to be a part of our family. She admits that she prefers to be alone because she isn't really comfortable around people. She is currently medicated for depression and mood. Although her mood is unstable, it is very predictable. We have worked hard with [name redacted] in many therapeutic programs, counseling, discipline and lots of love, but she is no longer receptive to us, and quite frankly we are exhausted. [name redacted] deserves a chance to get better and we know that will not happen in our home. We have been very open with [name redacted] during this process and she is in agreement that this is a good decision for her...she is ready to move on. We are looking for a home-study ready family who is willing to adopt [name redacted]. We firmly believe that it is time for her to move on to a new family who is experienced and willing to work hard with her. We believe she would be receptive to a new family and willing to try with a fresh start, it is her best chance at success. [name redacted] has unlimited potential and we want the best for her. If there is a ready, willing and able family for [name redacted], we will do whatever it takes to make a successful transition for her. We are willing to remain involved with [name redacted] either through phone calls, letters, e-mails, whatever, if the new family feels it would be beneficial. Because we have been open with her and allowed her to be a part of this process, we hope it will provide her with proper closure and make this transition a little easier. We love the Lord dearly, and we know He has been with us on every step of this journey. So, we are confident that He has been preparing a new family who will welcome [name redacted] in their home. If you feel you are that family, please contact me at [email redacted] for more information. [intial redacted] is a bright and energetic young man, who is outgoing and athletic. He is a hard worker and enjoys helping. He loves people and is very independent. He is in full-time school at a charter classical academy in the third grade. He is diligent in his studies and looks forward to school. [intial redacted] gets along well and plays well with friends. [intial redacted] was born in Ethiopia on [month and day redacted], 2001. He was adopted and brought to the United States in August of 2007. [initial redacted]'s biological parents both died of HIV when he was approximately two and half years old. After his parents died, [initial redacted], and his younger brother, lived with their grandparents until they were both adopted into our family. However, as he has become more secure within our home, and as we've had time to really understand [initial redacted]'s behaviors and thinking processes, it has become apparent that he is a very hurting child and that his needs cannot be met in our family. [initial redacted] has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and sensory issues. [initial redacted]'s RAD manifests itself in manipulation, occasional stealing, lying, being superficially engaging and charming, lack of cause and effect thinking, triangulation of adults and episodes of anger and rage. [initial redacted] does not exhibit any aggression toward animals and he has not acted out sexually in any way. [initial redacted] is currently in a loving, Christian home with seven other siblings. Due to his attachment disorder this environment has proven to be very difficult for [initial redacted] and for our family. It is our opinion that a family with knowledge and experience with RAD and a desire to help [initial redacted] reach his full potential would be an ideal placement. It is also our opinion, that [initial redacted] would do well in a family where there are no biological or deeply bonded children. Therefore, we are looking for a Christian family with experience in attachment disorders to provide a loving home where [initial redacted] can heal and grow to the best of his ability. We reside in Colorado and a completed home study is preferred. Please contact us at [email redacted] ",2341,"Children from Ethiopia, Liberia & Haiti in US Needing New Families",11/5/2010 15:43,159,14,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 151,," ALL CHILDREN ARE FROM [website redacted] webiste CONTACT [organization redacted] or the Parents directly at their E-Mail addresses at the end of each profile [initial redacted] is 14 years old. She came to the U.S. from Liberia, West Africa, at 10 years of age to her first family. They had her 3 months and disrupted the adoption. We took her at that point. She has been with us almost 4 years. She lived with her biological mother until the age of 9 and has adult siblings, her mother, and other family in Liberia. She was the youngest of several children. She went from her mother's care to the ACFI mission at age 9 until adopted [initial redacted] is very helpful around the house, tidy, and volunteers to help with just about anything. She is a very hard worker and takes pride in her work. She has lived on a ranch with us, and has gained a lot of work-ethic. She likes to laugh and play and enjoys sports. She is grateful to have a family, and expresses her gratitude, but she really needs some therapy to learn to become part of a healthy family. I believe she has the capacity to be a very loving and someday healthy person in the right home. [initial redacted] likely has some R.A.D. issues from her time at the mission, which was very unsupervised. Many of the children were sexually acting out on each other. She is very quiet and soft spoken. She enjoys being around other children, but needs to go to a home where there are no other children, younger than her, or in any way vulnerable. She has done some things that would risk the health of one of our children, and has been physical with the youngest in our family (pushing, kicking, etc.) She has not acted out sexually although she did need to learn that exposing her body was not acceptable. Although she likes animals now, and is used to a large variety since coming to us, it is possible that she may take negative feelings out them. We do not have the support or resources to give [initial redacted] the help she needs. Good intentions and love are not enough, neither is strict supervision. She is manipulative and sneaky, and tells some outrageous lies. (Which is dangerous because she can seem incredibly sincere and truthful!) Typical of RAD, she seems to focus most of her negative behavior on the mother in the home. She will require a mother figure who is very strong, sure of herself, and supported emotionally. She has learned to hide unacceptable behavior very well, but has never really changed, except to get more and more withdrawn and quiet. [initial redacted] has not ever really become part of the family. Without being able to trust her, we have all had to be on constant guard and that has taken a toll in many ways. [initial redacted] is currently homeschooled and is able to read, but is only able to complete about 2nd grade level academics and maybe early 1st grade language arts. Ours is not that home and is no longer functioning as it once was. I believe she would do better in a home that has access to therapies and lots of loving support. [initial redacted] is physically very healthy and has been tested for the usual 3rd world country diseases and comes with a clean bill of health. Thank you, contact [email redacted] [name redacted] is a creative 12 year old who loves to sew, bead, do crafts, play soccer and read! [name redacted] was adopted from Haiti at age 5. Because of early years of neglect and some trauma, she is reactive in her behavior. Although she is not violent, it would be best if she was in a home with no children, or older children only, because she has inappropriate boundaries and exhibits some sexually reactive behavior. [name redacted] is passive aggressive in her behavior.. sneaky, manipulative, lying, stealing, she requires a lot of supervision. [name redacted] is currently in the 6th grade and does pretty good academically. She struggles just a bit in math, but in all other subjects she is at or above grade level. She is very smart and when she slows down and puts the effort into her work, she does very well. Socially [name redacted] struggles at school. She doesn't have many friends as she doesn't really know how to act properly around peers. [name redacted] works hard at pushing people away. In the six years she has been in our home, she has not let her guard down enough to allow herself to be a part of our family. She admits that she prefers to be alone because she isn't really comfortable around people. She is currently medicated for depression and mood. Although her mood is unstable, it is very predictable. We have worked hard with [name redacted] in many therapeutic programs, counseling, discipline and lots of love, but she is no longer receptive to us, and quite frankly we are exhausted. [name redacted] deserves a chance to get better and we know that will not happen in our home. We have been very open with [name redacted] during this process and she is in agreement that this is a good decision for her...she is ready to move on. We are looking for a home-study ready family who is willing to adopt [name redacted]. We firmly believe that it is time for her to move on to a new family who is experienced and willing to work hard with her. We believe she would be receptive to a new family and willing to try with a fresh start, it is her best chance at success. [name redacted] has unlimited potential and we want the best for her. If there is a ready, willing and able family for [name redacted], we will do whatever it takes to make a successful transition for her. We are willing to remain involved with [name redacted] either through phone calls, letters, e-mails, whatever, if the new family feels it would be beneficial. Because we have been open with her and allowed her to be a part of this process, we hope it will provide her with proper closure and make this transition a little easier. We love the Lord dearly, and we know He has been with us on every step of this journey. So, we are confident that He has been preparing a new family who will welcome [name redacted] in their home. If you feel you are that family, please contact me at [email redacted] for more information. [intial redacted] is a bright and energetic young man, who is outgoing and athletic. He is a hard worker and enjoys helping. He loves people and is very independent. He is in full-time school at a charter classical academy in the third grade. He is diligent in his studies and looks forward to school. [intial redacted] gets along well and plays well with friends. [intial redacted] was born in Ethiopia on [month and day redacted], 2001. He was adopted and brought to the United States in August of 2007. [initial redacted]'s biological parents both died of HIV when he was approximately two and half years old. After his parents died, [initial redacted], and his younger brother, lived with their grandparents until they were both adopted into our family. However, as he has become more secure within our home, and as we've had time to really understand [initial redacted]'s behaviors and thinking processes, it has become apparent that he is a very hurting child and that his needs cannot be met in our family. [initial redacted] has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and sensory issues. [initial redacted]'s RAD manifests itself in manipulation, occasional stealing, lying, being superficially engaging and charming, lack of cause and effect thinking, triangulation of adults and episodes of anger and rage. [initial redacted] does not exhibit any aggression toward animals and he has not acted out sexually in any way. [initial redacted] is currently in a loving, Christian home with seven other siblings. Due to his attachment disorder this environment has proven to be very difficult for [initial redacted] and for our family. It is our opinion that a family with knowledge and experience with RAD and a desire to help [initial redacted] reach his full potential would be an ideal placement. It is also our opinion, that [initial redacted] would do well in a family where there are no biological or deeply bonded children. Therefore, we are looking for a Christian family with experience in attachment disorders to provide a loving home where [initial redacted] can heal and grow to the best of his ability. We reside in Colorado and a completed home study is preferred. Please contact us at [email redacted] ",2341,"Children from Ethiopia, Liberia & Haiti in US Needing New Families",11/5/2010 15:43,160,12,2,Yes,, 152,," ALL CHILDREN ARE FROM [website redacted] webiste CONTACT [organization redacted] or the Parents directly at their E-Mail addresses at the end of each profile [initial redacted] is 14 years old. She came to the U.S. from Liberia, West Africa, at 10 years of age to her first family. They had her 3 months and disrupted the adoption. We took her at that point. She has been with us almost 4 years. She lived with her biological mother until the age of 9 and has adult siblings, her mother, and other family in Liberia. She was the youngest of several children. She went from her mother's care to the ACFI mission at age 9 until adopted [initial redacted] is very helpful around the house, tidy, and volunteers to help with just about anything. She is a very hard worker and takes pride in her work. She has lived on a ranch with us, and has gained a lot of work-ethic. She likes to laugh and play and enjoys sports. She is grateful to have a family, and expresses her gratitude, but she really needs some therapy to learn to become part of a healthy family. I believe she has the capacity to be a very loving and someday healthy person in the right home. [initial redacted] likely has some R.A.D. issues from her time at the mission, which was very unsupervised. Many of the children were sexually acting out on each other. She is very quiet and soft spoken. She enjoys being around other children, but needs to go to a home where there are no other children, younger than her, or in any way vulnerable. She has done some things that would risk the health of one of our children, and has been physical with the youngest in our family (pushing, kicking, etc.) She has not acted out sexually although she did need to learn that exposing her body was not acceptable. Although she likes animals now, and is used to a large variety since coming to us, it is possible that she may take negative feelings out them. We do not have the support or resources to give [initial redacted] the help she needs. Good intentions and love are not enough, neither is strict supervision. She is manipulative and sneaky, and tells some outrageous lies. (Which is dangerous because she can seem incredibly sincere and truthful!) Typical of RAD, she seems to focus most of her negative behavior on the mother in the home. She will require a mother figure who is very strong, sure of herself, and supported emotionally. She has learned to hide unacceptable behavior very well, but has never really changed, except to get more and more withdrawn and quiet. [initial redacted] has not ever really become part of the family. Without being able to trust her, we have all had to be on constant guard and that has taken a toll in many ways. [initial redacted] is currently homeschooled and is able to read, but is only able to complete about 2nd grade level academics and maybe early 1st grade language arts. Ours is not that home and is no longer functioning as it once was. I believe she would do better in a home that has access to therapies and lots of loving support. [initial redacted] is physically very healthy and has been tested for the usual 3rd world country diseases and comes with a clean bill of health. Thank you, contact [email redacted] [name redacted] is a creative 12 year old who loves to sew, bead, do crafts, play soccer and read! [name redacted] was adopted from Haiti at age 5. Because of early years of neglect and some trauma, she is reactive in her behavior. Although she is not violent, it would be best if she was in a home with no children, or older children only, because she has inappropriate boundaries and exhibits some sexually reactive behavior. [name redacted] is passive aggressive in her behavior.. sneaky, manipulative, lying, stealing, she requires a lot of supervision. [name redacted] is currently in the 6th grade and does pretty good academically. She struggles just a bit in math, but in all other subjects she is at or above grade level. She is very smart and when she slows down and puts the effort into her work, she does very well. Socially [name redacted] struggles at school. She doesn't have many friends as she doesn't really know how to act properly around peers. [name redacted] works hard at pushing people away. In the six years she has been in our home, she has not let her guard down enough to allow herself to be a part of our family. She admits that she prefers to be alone because she isn't really comfortable around people. She is currently medicated for depression and mood. Although her mood is unstable, it is very predictable. We have worked hard with [name redacted] in many therapeutic programs, counseling, discipline and lots of love, but she is no longer receptive to us, and quite frankly we are exhausted. [name redacted] deserves a chance to get better and we know that will not happen in our home. We have been very open with [name redacted] during this process and she is in agreement that this is a good decision for her...she is ready to move on. We are looking for a home-study ready family who is willing to adopt [name redacted]. We firmly believe that it is time for her to move on to a new family who is experienced and willing to work hard with her. We believe she would be receptive to a new family and willing to try with a fresh start, it is her best chance at success. [name redacted] has unlimited potential and we want the best for her. If there is a ready, willing and able family for [name redacted], we will do whatever it takes to make a successful transition for her. We are willing to remain involved with [name redacted] either through phone calls, letters, e-mails, whatever, if the new family feels it would be beneficial. Because we have been open with her and allowed her to be a part of this process, we hope it will provide her with proper closure and make this transition a little easier. We love the Lord dearly, and we know He has been with us on every step of this journey. So, we are confident that He has been preparing a new family who will welcome [name redacted] in their home. If you feel you are that family, please contact me at [email redacted] for more information. [intial redacted] is a bright and energetic young man, who is outgoing and athletic. He is a hard worker and enjoys helping. He loves people and is very independent. He is in full-time school at a charter classical academy in the third grade. He is diligent in his studies and looks forward to school. [intial redacted] gets along well and plays well with friends. [intial redacted] was born in Ethiopia on [month and day redacted], 2001. He was adopted and brought to the United States in August of 2007. [initial redacted]'s biological parents both died of HIV when he was approximately two and half years old. After his parents died, [initial redacted], and his younger brother, lived with their grandparents until they were both adopted into our family. However, as he has become more secure within our home, and as we've had time to really understand [initial redacted]'s behaviors and thinking processes, it has become apparent that he is a very hurting child and that his needs cannot be met in our family. [initial redacted] has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and sensory issues. [initial redacted]'s RAD manifests itself in manipulation, occasional stealing, lying, being superficially engaging and charming, lack of cause and effect thinking, triangulation of adults and episodes of anger and rage. [initial redacted] does not exhibit any aggression toward animals and he has not acted out sexually in any way. [initial redacted] is currently in a loving, Christian home with seven other siblings. Due to his attachment disorder this environment has proven to be very difficult for [initial redacted] and for our family. It is our opinion that a family with knowledge and experience with RAD and a desire to help [initial redacted] reach his full potential would be an ideal placement. It is also our opinion, that [initial redacted] would do well in a family where there are no biological or deeply bonded children. Therefore, we are looking for a Christian family with experience in attachment disorders to provide a loving home where [initial redacted] can heal and grow to the best of his ability. We reside in Colorado and a completed home study is preferred. Please contact us at [email redacted] ",2341,"Children from Ethiopia, Liberia & Haiti in US Needing New Families",11/5/2010 15:43,161,9,1,Yes,,Yes 154,,"Hello all. I represent an agency based out of Kentucky. We have a program called [organization redacted]. [organization redacted] is a program that assists adoptive families in crisis with supportive consulting services as well as adoption disruption and rehoming of children. We have a very deserving boy from Liberia who is in need of a new adoptive home. He does not have any major behavioral problems as his special needs are the primary concern. He is very self sufficient considering his situation and very intelligent. He is in need of a family who can provide a supportive home environment and provide him with the daily living and independent living skills needed to be a productive adult. If you would like to learn more information about him and his unique situation please contact me. Thanks in advance!
",2417,Older boy 15 from Liberia needs a new home. Special Needs,11/14/2010 16:03,163,15,1,Yes,,Yes 155,Adoptive parent,"We adopted a boy from Russia 5 years ago. He is now 9. He has FAS and PTSD or RAD issues. If anyone is interested in more information, please let me know.
Thanks, [initial redacted]
",2471,Looking for a new home for a 9 year old boy,12/28/2010 13:04,164,9,1,Yes,,Yes 156,Adoptive parent,"We are needing to find a new home for a 14 year old girl from Liberia that we adopted from a disruption nearly 4 years ago. She is a hard worker, willing and loves sports. She tries hard, but RAD and PTSD issues need to be addressed and we are not the family for her. We live rurally and she prefers the city, for one thing. She is currently homeschooled because the local public schools do not have much to offer for her. She is 1st and 2nd grade levels in most subjects.
The difficulties we have with her are the usual- lying,devious, sneaky, manipulative behavior, as well as being prideful and having an entitlement mentality that is just part of her culture. You would be suprised to know that she can also be very thoughtful and sweet.
Because of where she is from and certain signs, she is not to be trusted with younger children. She needs to go to a home without children younger than she is. She is known to target mothers and youngest children as objects of jealousy and revenge- such as using your toothbrush to clean the toilet and replacing it back in it's place so you will use it on your mouth. We call this passive aggressive.
She loves the pets we have, but may be targetting my small house dog as a way to get even with me when she is angry.
We just are too tired to deal with her anymore, and our youngest child just doesn't feel safe because she is very hateful toward him. It's time for her to go somewhere else, with people more equipped and with better resources than we have. Thank you, [initial redacted].
",2479,Needing to Find New Home,12/30/2010 11:02,165,14,2,Yes,,Yes 158,Adoptive parent,"Along the lines of this why-disrupt-to-a-similar-family-thread, I am starting to look for a family for our son that we brought home from China 5 months ago and I would like to find him a placement that looks quite different from us because its so obvious he is unhappy here. He is a 13, almost 14, year old boy who spent 10 years at an orphanage in Shanghai before coming here. He is profoundly Deaf and is learning ASL English at a rapid pace. He is smart, friendly charming. We are a large-ish Catholic Christian family in the midwest with not a very large population (which equals not a large Deaf population). Our son does very well at school, especially the Deaf school he now attends during the week, only home on weekends during school closures. At home he struggles mightily with the concept of family roles. Being a son a sibling creates pressure for him, for sure. My ideal thought would be either a single man or a couple, fluent in ASL, older grown kids or no kids. I think our son would do really well with more of a mentor/parental relationship than a traditional one. His only way of relating to siblings is jealousy so I think he'd do well being the youngest or only. I think another huge factor would be a dense population- San Fran, Boston, DC, etc- somewhere with a lot of people which equates to a lot of Deaf people definitely a Deaf school. I realize I'm looking for something quite out of the norm. Please message me if you have any ideas. Thanks, [name redacted] ",2517,Would Like to Disrupt,1/10/2011 7:36,167,13,1,Yes,,Yes 159,Adoptive parent,"We are looking for help with our 14year old African (from Africa)adopted daughter. She has been in our family for 3 years and made steady attachment progress for the first 2-2.5years. She is an extremely talented and smart young woman who loves life, sports, friends, and all things American Teenager-ish. She goes to school and is doing well in the 8th grade, plays musical instruments, soccer, and happily succeeds at just about any other physical activity known to man or woman. She has no criminal history, does not lie, cheat, or steal, is not lazy, and is great with every age kid. Crazy, huh? But, she was given up by her birthmom more than once and cannot seem to accept the love or authority of her current adoptive mom. The relationship issues are becoming toxic to herself and the entire family. She does struggle with entitlement issues, but no more than the average American teenager. She is now demanding that we either find her a new family or put her on a plane home.....ohhhh, sweet darling, if only it were that easy. My heart breaks for her daily as I watch her search for contentment. We are now, after 3 full years, 4 counselors, 2 respite situations, and countless battles later, open to the idea of re-homing this precious flower...for her sake, not our own. In our home she is the oldest child and I feel that she would be better placed as a middle or younger child.
Please try to refrain from responding with questions about our decisions or judgements. I am worn out...3 years is a long time and a lot of counselors! Only encouragment and inquiries welcome!
Thanks,
Mom
",2547,Looking for Hope,1/12/2011 20:14,168,14,2,Yes,, 160,Adoptive parent,"Hi there. My husband and I adopted over a year ago, siblings now 2 and 4. Our 4 year old came from a disruption right around the time we were putting in to adopt our little girl. At the time of our application to adopt her we were looking to adopt her and her sister 1 year older. However the plans for placement changed when our4 year olds adoption fell apart at the same time and the CAS asked us to consider taking our little girl and our son instead and they would make a different plan for the sister in between. We didn't get any information on what happened in his first home (he was there from 22 months until a few months before his 3rd birthday. The only reasons we were told was that the previous couple didn't bond with him but we were assured it was them, not him. We did our preplacement and forsure seen that he was suffering from the disruption but felt optimistic that things would work out once he settled in and felt secure. Its not been over a year and we find that he is just still on an extreme high/low emotionally. He can go from being one kind of a child to completely something else (weeks where he is up and things seem normal to being down and withdrawn with know real reasons that we can see for the change) We also have an older son 9, that we adopted at the age of 2, he has some special needs as well but overall a very well adjusted loving caring child. We have been feeling such stress with the unpredictability of our 4 year old and some of his behaviours/ mood swings etc and of course have reached out for help. The CAS is overloaded I'm sure and by no means are we blaming them however even asking for a psycho assessment has taken 5 months and we don't even have a straight answer yet. I understand that things take time and there are waiting lists but we feel so frustrated in what to do in the meantime. I could go on and on about things we have since found out about his first placement and frustrations we have had however my reason for posting is to hear from others who might understand what we are going through. Please if you have any information or support that might help us we would love to hear from you.

",2565,Considering Disruption and looking for support and feedback,1/14/2011 7:27,169,4,1,,, 161,Adoptive parent,"Hi, My name is [name redacted] and my husband and I have 9 children, four birth kids and five adopted SN. I am seeking help for our son with RAD. He just turned 18, was with another family for one year and before that (11 years) he lived in an orphanage in Thailand. he currently goes to a day program with the ARC and loves it. he is happy there, charming, works hard, does have control/bossing problems.
At home is is a different person. He urinates on his bedroomfloor, has little or no relationship with us or his siblings. We have hoarding issues too. I read the past posts about it. I have been told that it is a control issue. That at least for RAD kids, they need to feel they are in charge so they steal the food and then can feel like they are providing for themselves. Withour son, he will not eat with us, it keeps him feeling like he has somehow provided his own meal for himself. We didnt go into this adoption to fail. But, we have not found the key or the therapist to make a significant change either. if anyone has any suggestions, we would love to hear them. We have been encouraged to disrupt him since we got him! We have not. But, he is of age now that he can go to a good group home (residential placement) and make more headway....sad for us good for him??? any help is welcome (especially about toileting and 18 year old and why on earth he refuses showering!) [name redacted]
",2728,new here....,1/19/2011 19:57,170,18,1,Yes,,Yes 162,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
My husband and I adopted a little girl from Liberia, Africa 3 years ago. She is now 9....though the physical size of a 7 year old. She has not bonded to us and is very depressed and unhappy. We have 6 other biological children, 5 of them younger....two of who are autistic. She does not get the attention she deserves. I will admit this has been much harder than I thought and we have not bonded to her, especially my husband. The strain on our marriage has been very difficult.
Our daughter is not an awful child by any stretch of the imagination.. She has had some issues, but nothing extreme. She has occasionally stolen food from home and school, and she sometimes wets the bed. If she is upset about something she will not speak and will ignore us for hours. She says she wants a mom and dad who really love her. I do not blame her. While we have been kind and met all of her basic needs and wants...we cannot provide the love and physical affection she greatly desires. She deserves a mom and dad who can give her that.
We have chosen to disrupt. We do not have the money to pay a new family to take her. We just get by. We are considering relinquishing our rights to the state. We however have no idea how to do this and do not want it to possibly affect our rights to our biological children. Anyone have any experience with this? Is anyone actively looking for a great little girl who so desires a families love?
Thank you kindly,
[name redacted]

",2824,Disruption/ relinquishing rights?,1/27/2011 9:48,171,9,2,Yes,, 164,Non-agency facilitator,"Dear group,
An online friend of mine is looking to possibly disrupt a recently adopted young teen girl from Eastern Europe. I do not want to give ANY identifying info until I know that its ok with the mom. but she has asked for my help and I have reached out to some people with experience in `disruption',. However, I thought I would mention this here in the case that there is the right family reading this.
This child is deeply hurt and exhibits signs of severe PTSD and RAD. She will need a VERY experienced family and cannot be in a home with younger children. A perfect scenario would be older experienced parents with no other kids at home, and preferable are familiar with the BCLC method ( Heather Forbes). I believe the family will insist it be a Christian family as well.
This is NOT a child for an inexperienced family in any way. She will need great support for many many months, if not years.
however, to be clear, I do think she can be healed. My daughter, home 6 years, exhibited the EXACT same behavior as this girl her first few months home. Today she is a thriving, happy, fairly well-adjusted young woman who no longer acts out, and who feels empathy and compassion for others. I think what is working against this girl's current family is that they have several younger children and they are not safe. THey want to have their daughter rehomed bc of this.
Only contact me if you have a sincere desire to learn more about tis child for yourself. If you know of a family that fits this description, have that family contact me directly.
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
",2923,Just putting feelers out...,3/8/2011 19:35,172,,2,Yes,,Yes 165,Adoptive parent," Could you please help me understand the process that you went through for assuming guardianship? My daughter is in a diagnostic residential placement and if she gets to a better place, emotionally, I would consider something like this, instead of a group home environment.
My daughter is 7 and will need to be in an environment without children that could be manipulated or hurt. There would also need to be no small animals.
Thank you.
",2925,RESPITE ?GUARDIONSHIP,3/9/2011 2:42,173,7,2,,,Yes 166,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I am new to this list and wanted to say HI. I have 12 children. 10 bio and 2 adopted from Kazakhstan. We have experienced problems since we got the boys and are finally coming to the conclusion that one or both of them are not for us - or we are not for them. We have tried Psychologists, counselors, Psychiatrists, books, classes, prayer, medicines, etc - and are now contacting a residential treatment center. We are fairly certain they should NOT be together as they egg each other on and are generally cohorts in crime, so to speak. We have had them 6 + years and things are getting worse and not better. They are not bonded to us at all and could care less if they are here or anywhere. They are ages 11 and 9. Where they are apart they are generally well behaved, but exhibit behaviors of stealing, lying, destruction. I hate to see this in print, but the majority of their siblings hate them because of the damage they do to their things. They manage to ruin every event we have by doing something. It seems they particularly have it out for me - as if I get anything new, they find it and destroy it. They have RAD, ADD, and one is being evaled for FAS. The 9 yr old needs a good strong DAD that is very very involved - as he will do anything for Dad, and nothing for Mom. I just dont have the time, or mental fortitude anymore to give what they need - anyone have any ideas ?? Thanks

",2926,New here -,3/9/2011 7:19,174,11,1,Yes,,Yes 167,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I am new to this list and wanted to say HI. I have 12 children. 10 bio and 2 adopted from Kazakhstan. We have experienced problems since we got the boys and are finally coming to the conclusion that one or both of them are not for us - or we are not for them. We have tried Psychologists, counselors, Psychiatrists, books, classes, prayer, medicines, etc - and are now contacting a residential treatment center. We are fairly certain they should NOT be together as they egg each other on and are generally cohorts in crime, so to speak. We have had them 6 + years and things are getting worse and not better. They are not bonded to us at all and could care less if they are here or anywhere. They are ages 11 and 9. Where they are apart they are generally well behaved, but exhibit behaviors of stealing, lying, destruction. I hate to see this in print, but the majority of their siblings hate them because of the damage they do to their things. They manage to ruin every event we have by doing something. It seems they particularly have it out for me - as if I get anything new, they find it and destroy it. They have RAD, ADD, and one is being evaled for FAS. The 9 yr old needs a good strong DAD that is very very involved - as he will do anything for Dad, and nothing for Mom. I just dont have the time, or mental fortitude anymore to give what they need - anyone have any ideas ?? Thanks

",2926,New here -,3/9/2011 7:19,175,9,1,Yes,,Yes 168,Adoptive parent,"I am looking for a new family for our son, currently 11 years old and adopted from Ukraine at age 6. He needs an extremely experienced and committed family, preferably with a stay at home mom and home schooled. He cannot be with younger children. We are running out of ideas and options
",2929,looking for a new family,3/10/2011 6:40,176,11,1,Yes,, 169,Non-agency facilitator,"[name redacted] a thirteen year old boy (born June 1 997) needs placement in a new home with no younger siblings. He has been in a family-arranged foster care placement and doing quite well for the past year but one of the foster parents has recently had brain surgery and this has threatened the emotional stability of this boy and he needs a new placement. If a private arrangement cannot be arranged within a week to ten days, he will become a part of the state foster care system. His original adoptive family does not want this to happen. He has a biological sibling adopted at the same time who remains in original home and family would like the boys to retain some level of contact if possible. Please email [name redacted] at [email redacted] for more information.
",2937,13 year old boy needs new adoptive placement,3/11/2011 12:16,177,13,1,,, 171,,"Behavior issues. Difficulty attaching but not diagnosed as RAD.
",2941,9 year old girl needs pre-adoptive placement in GA,3/12/2011 6:20,178,9,2,,, 172,Adoptive parent,"Our third child, from China has severe ADHD, and is HOH, the hearing isn't a big issue, he has a BAHA and hears and speaks pretty well. HE goes to a school for the deaf and makes good grades. China doesn't recognize ADHD/ADD, etc, so they just said he was naughty. 6.5 year later, numerous psychiatrists and counselors, and we can not get past the stealing and lying. And the horrendous attitude towards me, the language, etc. We have tried everything, it may work for a short time, but then he goes right back to his same behavior. He will steal anything from anyone, whether or not he needs it, just because it looks cool. Never shows any remorse, but no signs of bipolar, or any personality disorder. We have had him tested numerous times. His younger sister is just the opposite, nearly deaf, goes to the same school, but is such a sweet girl, always happy, loving, etc. I know he feels we love her more and his older brother, but its just that they are so much easier than him. We are out of options. We're the only family he knows, and I cannot imagine what it would do to him to disrupt. Or to his brother and sister.
We're still thinking.
[name redacted] from SC
",2959,I don't want to disrupt-but,3/16/2011 16:23,179,,1,Yes,,Yes 173,Adoptive parent,"I am looking for a new family for my 11 year old son who was adopted from Ukraine at age 5. My husband past away shortly after his adoption and I have been struggling to bond with him ever since. I feel that he would do best in a two parent household, preferably with a stay at home mom. Please contact me for additional information.
",2971,Looking for a new family,3/18/2011 11:51,180,11,1,Yes,, 176,Adoptive parent,"We have a sib group of 3. Two girls 13 and and one boy 8. We are at our wits end. Finalized 4 years ago--told by agency that if we go through dissolution we could be charged by the judge for child support until they all turn 18 which we can not afford. They all have RAD, FAE, ADD and that is just what we know. They are all three in a theraputic school which is doing no good. All three have inhome therapist and all three see psychiatrist. The oldest girl tried to sexually abuse one of our other sons. The boy has been in child psyche placement twice in the last year. These are the last three we have adopted as we have previously adopted 4 and have raised 3 bio kids and have a grandbaby. The rest of our family is no longer safe and I don't know what to do. Birth mom has contacted me from another state and wants them back as she has straighted up her act and you don't know how tempting it is for me. Any help or advise? The state they came from gives 5 whole days of respite a year and we have used those.
",2984,Sib group of 3,3/22/2011 9:54,181,7,2,No,,Yes 175,Adoptive parent,"We have a sib group of 3. Two girls 13 and and one boy 8. We are at our wits end. Finalized 4 years ago--told by agency that if we go through dissolution we could be charged by the judge for child support until they all turn 18 which we can not afford. They all have RAD, FAE, ADD and that is just what we know. They are all three in a theraputic school which is doing no good. All three have inhome therapist and all three see psychiatrist. The oldest girl tried to sexually abuse one of our other sons. The boy has been in child psyche placement twice in the last year. These are the last three we have adopted as we have previously adopted 4 and have raised 3 bio kids and have a grandbaby. The rest of our family is no longer safe and I don't know what to do. Birth mom has contacted me from another state and wants them back as she has straighted up her act and you don't know how tempting it is for me. Any help or advise? The state they came from gives 5 whole days of respite a year and we have used those.
",2984,Sib group of 3,3/22/2011 9:54,182,13,2,No,Sexual,Yes 174,Adoptive parent,"We have a sib group of 3. Two girls 13 and and one boy 8. We are at our wits end. Finalized 4 years ago--told by agency that if we go through dissolution we could be charged by the judge for child support until they all turn 18 which we can not afford. They all have RAD, FAE, ADD and that is just what we know. They are all three in a theraputic school which is doing no good. All three have inhome therapist and all three see psychiatrist. The oldest girl tried to sexually abuse one of our other sons. The boy has been in child psyche placement twice in the last year. These are the last three we have adopted as we have previously adopted 4 and have raised 3 bio kids and have a grandbaby. The rest of our family is no longer safe and I don't know what to do. Birth mom has contacted me from another state and wants them back as she has straighted up her act and you don't know how tempting it is for me. Any help or advise? The state they came from gives 5 whole days of respite a year and we have used those.
",2984,Sib group of 3,3/22/2011 9:54,183,8,1,No,,Yes 177,Adoptive parent,"We adopted two teen boys from Haiti who arrived home in early 2010 just after the earthquake. We have been invovled in the orphanage ministry where the boys grew up for years. The story I am about to share is shocking and disturbing and shameful to me personally.
Our 15-year old has become our son - he desperately wanted a family, and he has become one of us. It's a beautiful story.
Our other son, now 18 and a junior in high school, did not come to be part of a family - he came to get access to a better life in America. That's fine, but it is not what we signed up for. He said he would prefer to be in more of a host home where the expectations that he be part of the family are lower than in our home. Other than what I will call this cultural conflict, he is a great kid. He does well in school, in very talented athletically, and he is a caring and thoughtful person.
Some people may say - just adjust your expectations to be his host home. I can do that - and largely have already done so. My wife, however, is unable to make this shift. She has taken this very hard. I might think she is taking it too personally, but we are at a point where it is only harmful for me to make any such suggestions.
This situation has ultimately caused our marriage to suffer to a point where divorce has been considered. We were not divorce material before all this happened. Our lives have been shredded and torn to peices over our different views about this situation and what to do about it.
After 8 months of me resisting her suggestions that he must go, I have finally accepted that her decision is final - she is over and done with this situation. She does not want counseling...she wants him out of our home. I must admit - he has been very tough to love. I want to say clearly - I am not judging my wife. I am just very sad about all this.
This is the last thing I ever expected or wanted to happen. Does anyone have any suggestions on where we could start a search for a new home for an 18-year old male child who is a junior in high school? The home could be temporary or permanent and could involve a legal readoption or informal re-homing. We are open to the preferences of any family who might be interested in assisting us.
Thank you for your help.
",3015,Looking to Re-Home 18 Year Old,3/25/2011 11:16,185,18,1,Yes,, 178,Adoptive parent,We have a darling 5 yr old girl from Russia . We are older parents and feel we can't raise her. We found out through translated documents she have alcohol exposure. This was a suprise as they told us she had none. We discovered this fact in the paperwork after court when we were departing on a train. She has no problems presently.
,3057,Adoption Girl,3/29/2011 10:27,186,5,2,Yes,, 179,Non-agency facilitator, there is a 12 yr old home from China 6 weeks needing a new home. Seems the family isn't bonding. [name redacted] ,3231,Legal Guardianship,4/13/2011 11:32,187,12,1,Yes,, 180,Adoptive parent," I am new here. I have no idea where to start. I don't feel safe even talking but I need to help the best I can. If there is a family out there that understands FAS and attachment issues and are looking to adopt a little one can you please email me? Im sorry if this is the wrong way to go about this.. its a complicated story, but would be a simple process due to the legal nature of our situation. a heartbroken mom...
",3225,adoption disruption,4/13/2011 10:31,188,,,,,Yes 181,Adoptive parent,"Our son is 11 years old, adopted from Russia 15 months ago. He is a wonderful, beautiful little boy. Most of the time he is a pure delight. But he has outbursts when he feels slighted in any way. He has been diagnosed with RAD and has most of the symptoms. We just can't deal with all the issues. We have a 6 year old daughter and an 8 year old son, who has FAS. We live in Texas and are hoping there will be a family in Texas that would be interested in adopting him. I will send more information to families that I can verify their identity and intentions.
Blessings, [name redacted]
",3289,Disruption,4/21/2011 15:57,189,11,1,Yes,,Yes 182,," If anyone is interested in respite or rehome a sweet, soft spoken 9 yr old from Liberia, please contact me. There is no RAD or FAS HOWEVER she has SEVERE PTSD. You must have some experience in PTSD or have few children to dedicate the time to this little girl. [name redacted] ",3310,Respite/Rehoming 9 yr old,4/24/2011 3:23,190,9,2,Yes,Sexual,Yes 183,Adoptive parent,Looking for another home for 12 year old boy - must not have any younger younger children in the home. Please email at [email redacted]
,3597,Help,6/3/2011 18:33,191,12,1,,, 184,Adoptive parent,"We are a family with a 15 y.o. girl who we adopted from Ukraine 8 years ago. She was put into the orphanage at 5 y.o. after experiencing Neglect. These last eight years have been really rough time. We decided this week after much, much, thought, that it is right for everyone involved to disrupt dissolve. Our daughter is a typical RAD child. She has not bonded. She cares little, if any, for us. In fact, she wants to leave because she hates us. I know we are not the best parents for her. We're hoping to find a better match. We live in New Hampshire. What do we do next? I want to get busy with this before she gets any older (and harder to re-adopt).
",3598,Ready to disrupt dissolve a 15 year old girl,6/5/2011 17:33,192,15,2,Yes,,Yes 185,Adoptive parent,"Our family adopted a sibling group in 2008. Like the majority of adoptive parents, we went into this with all the best intentions. Had we been provided all the information needed to help these children, we could have saved years of heartache for these children and our family.
Both of these children were abused, neglected, and at times tortured by their biological mother. My heart went out to these children and I took the initiative to give them a home.
Both these children have RAD. After years of attachment therapy, and watching our adopted children horribly mistreat each other, we've been advised, by many professionals to separate these siblings. I know in my heart that the children will succeed if placed in different homes.
We are desperately trying to find a loving home for our 9 year old son. Please know that we have exhausted every measure before coming to this. We've lost our home, financial stability, and the safety of our home trying to keep these children separated. When they are together, the retreat back to their early trauma. However, our son has made tremendous strides in treatment centers. In fact, he maintains normal relationships with others.
If you, or anyone in your network, would be able to provide a loving, christian home for a beautiful 9 year old boy, please contact me. Or if you know of any agencies who can help with these situations, feel free to let me know.
Thank you.

",3601,With a heavy heart .....,6/6/2011 19:10,193,9,1,,Physical,Yes 187,Adoptive parent,"There seem to be many people on this group who are in difficult situations. So sorry for all of the heartache. We are also in crisis mode. Ten weeks ago we thought we finally were cresting the top of the hill. I seemed to have fallen into a routine that kept our three adopted siblings from Russia apart from each other and there was a tiny glimmer of hope on the ruined finances side. We even bought an old car for me after over a year and a half of being a one car family. We're also in escrow for a house. Nine weeks ago the older girls acted out with each other and the youngest brother in the back seat of the car. I can't guard him from that. These are all RAD children so, since I caught them (how could I not?), I had to be punished. I'm allergic to anything that has a scent. The girls stole perfume and have now spread it around the house and in my new car. I've been physically sick for this whole time and have been unable to eradicate the smell--not for lack of trying, though. Anyway, we have finally decided to attempt to find a new home for the girls, ages 8 and 10. They are wonderful girls 90 percent of the time. It's just that the 10 percent is SO awful. I contacted [organization redacted] last time we were in crisis mode and we couldn't begin to afford the $3500.00 pricetag per month for one girl, let alone both. I really don't want them to move to the new house with us because they are likely to ruin it, too. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you.

",3616,Yet another heavy heart,6/11/2011 12:20,194,8,2,Yes,,Yes 186,Adoptive parent,"There seem to be many people on this group who are in difficult situations. So sorry for all of the heartache. We are also in crisis mode. Ten weeks ago we thought we finally were cresting the top of the hill. I seemed to have fallen into a routine that kept our three adopted siblings from Russia apart from each other and there was a tiny glimmer of hope on the ruined finances side. We even bought an old car for me after over a year and a half of being a one car family. We're also in escrow for a house. Nine weeks ago the older girls acted out with each other and the youngest brother in the back seat of the car. I can't guard him from that. These are all RAD children so, since I caught them (how could I not?), I had to be punished. I'm allergic to anything that has a scent. The girls stole perfume and have now spread it around the house and in my new car. I've been physically sick for this whole time and have been unable to eradicate the smell--not for lack of trying, though. Anyway, we have finally decided to attempt to find a new home for the girls, ages 8 and 10. They are wonderful girls 90 percent of the time. It's just that the 10 percent is SO awful. I contacted [organization redacted] last time we were in crisis mode and we couldn't begin to afford the $3500.00 pricetag per month for one girl, let alone both. I really don't want them to move to the new house with us because they are likely to ruin it, too. Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you.

",3616,Yet another heavy heart,6/11/2011 12:20,195,10,2,Yes,,Yes 188,Adoptive parent,"I am new to the group and would like to share some of my situation to see if any of you can offer some suggestions/advice.
We adopted twin girls from Russia in 2003. Both had RAD. We did some holding therapy and Nancy Thomas and Love and Logic and they both improved a great deal. One has attached beautifully and the other still has issues, especially with my husband. She also often speaks of hating her birth father, by the way. Anyway, things were very tough, but we were holding our own and then I got hit with severe ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) in 2005.
All of our parenting techniques went out the window as everyone adjusted to mom being too sick to do mom things and dad trying to be mom and dad to 4 kids plus nurse to mom. In 2007 I became totally bedridden and have improved slightly, but remain mostly bedridden still.
All of the kids have suffered, but the other three do not have any behavior issues and are coping with the situation. Our daughter in question was simply not healed enough to deal with the altered situation. My parents stepped in and took her into their home (they live only 5 min away so we were still seeing her regularly), but they are in their 70's and also not trained in dealing with RAD and she skillfully played them against each other and caused quite a bit of conflict between them. She is back in our home, but I am not able to supervise her properly or even do fun things with her (or any of my children) and my husband can't either because he has to work and try to hold the household and family together. His health is going down hill with all the stress. Also the stress is not doing her any good either. And even trivial stress (such as TV news or an action movie) makes my condition worse.
We have come to the conclusion that because we are physically incapable of doing what she needs done for/with her we need to look at other options. Financially things are tight because of my out of pocket medical expenses (last year over $14,000) and my husbands job loss in 2009 and susequent getting another job but an entry level one).
I believe that she could do well in the right family. Although she has some behavior issues we would not be looking to re-home if I was healthy.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.



",3622,Considering options for re-homing 15 year old Russian adopted daughter,6/23/2011 9:50,196,15,2,Yes,,Yes 189,Adoptive parent,"I also looked into the [organization redacted], but can not afford to pay those fees. Is there anything else out there that does not cost as much? I am also looking for another option for my 16 year old son, adopted from Estonia 3 1/2 years ago. [name redacted]",3625,Considering options for re-homing 15 year old Russian adopted daughter,6/28/2011 6:53,197,16,1,Yes,, 190,,"FROM: [website redacted] NEW LISTING

PRIVATE ADOPTION IN THE US (1-2 day travel to Virginia required)
OF CHILD with Mild Neurological Issues ORIGINALLY ADOPTED FROM EASTERN EUROPE, in US 3 years

ChildID / Name Birth Date [name redacted] [month and day redacted]/2004 Location Gender USA Male Date Added View Siblings of this Child 7/15/2011
Agency [organization redacted] ",3696,"6 yr CC Boy From EE in US, Mild Neurological Concerns, Needs New Family",7/17/2011 10:00,198,6,1,Yes,,Yes 191,Adoptive parent,"Hi [name redacted], Things have settled with [name redacted] since he has been home. He for the most part stays out with his friends all day. I think he is trying to avoid us, this is fine with me as long as the cops don't bring him home! Since [name redacted] is acting somewhat normal, this means [name redacted] takes her turn at acting up. We have come to terms with the fact they their behaviors have destroyed our family. The impact of the stress in our home has harmed by bio daughter and my marriage so badly. What I thought would be a good deed that brought more love into our family was actually what has destroyed it. In the end I am to blame because I was the one that wanted these kids. I have sent a bio to a friend in hopes of placing [name redacted] and have slowly realized that [name redacted] will end up having to go also. I just can not deal with the constant bad behaviors over and over again! If she is this sneaky at 9 how will it be at 16? I don't want to find out! [name redacted] ",3709,Considering options for re-homing 15 year old Russian adopted daughter,7/23/2011 11:14,199,9,2,Yes,, 192,,"We need a new family (married couples or single woman) to re-adopt a 16+ year old girl from China. [name redacted] survived many transitions and losses..... she didn't know her birth family, she lost her Foster Family of 12 years, she did not get the complete medical help she needed for her Cleft lip and palate, she did not get the speech therapy she needed, she left her friends at the orphanage, she left her country, her language and her culture behind, she is in a new country with a new family. She is learning english but again sadly she did not receive speech therapy in the US. Her current family has experienced many life challenges recently and are unable to provide [name redacted] with the medical and speech therapy she needs.
[name redacted] was adopted from China a year ago. After spending 12 years in a foster family in China, she moved to an orphanage a few years before her adoption inorder to be adopted. Her Fopst Family could not longer care for her but visted her in the orphanage. Her date of birth is given as the fall of 1996 but [name redacted] states that she is 16 and will be 17 on her next birthday and does indeed appear to be older than her stated age of 15. The current family has been asked to get a professional opinion of age through bone scans or a dental exam but that has not yet been received.
[name redacted] has some urgent medical needs. Her cleft palate was not repaired until she was much older than usual. Once here in the US she received further surgery to improve her speech shortly after her arrival. The doctors have stated that without targeted...and intensive speech therapy, her speech will not be intelligible, as over the years she has been forced by her cleft palate to speak in an incorrect way. Right now her speech is about 60% intelligible. [name redacted] speaks in a very low voice but can carry on an English conversation, mainly with those familiar with her pronunciation. Sadly she has not been receiving any speech therapy. Her teeth are quite crowded and also impair her speech, so orthodontics are also needed. [name redacted] is otherwise quite healthy. She sleeps well and has a good appetite, with a pronounced sweet tooth.
[name redacted] is currently attending an 8th grade English Language Learner Program. She completes her assignments, but is of course at a very low level, even in math. The school reports she willingly accepts help from the teacher. She is only interested in a relationship with the teacher. She is not comfortable accepting help from her peers.
She was adopted at the same time as a younger child. The current family reports that she can be very demanding of parental attention and jealous of the other children in the home. For example, if she sees the mother reading to another younger child, she becomes angry; for this reason, we would prefer to re-home her with a family that does not have more than one other child in the home, preferably not a young child. [name redacted] is usually withdrawn and quiet and does not enjoy many physical activities. She likes creative artistic activities and prefers to draw. She enjoys television and movies. She enjoys the family pet dog and snuggles close to this gentle loving animal. She often needs direction on how to fill her time.
[name redacted]'s biggest need, however, is for a family who can help her accept and adjust to the changes that adoption has brought to her. She still feels ties to her foster family in China, who evidently continued to visit her after she moved to the orphanage. It appears that this move and all the demands that have been made upon her, in addition to her speech disability, have made her frustrated, angry and depressed. Her new family will need to work hard to build a healthy attachment with [name redacted] as she has experienced many unresolved losses in her young life.
We prefer a homestudy (current) ready family so we can get [name redacted] settled more quickly. Financial obligations will be minimal including homestudy, legal fees, medical exam and travel to southeast US. Please contact [email redacted] [organization redacted] ([website redacted]) is a non-profit adoption agency.

",3737,"[name redacted] from Asia needs re-adoption creative,artistic loves dogs",8/11/2011 9:06,200,16,2,Yes,, 195,,"Dear Friends, Thank you for your warm greetings. At the present, we have 3 possibilities: 1.  14 - yr old boy, needs to be in a single child household, or one older BOY sibling - no racially mix, and this child needs to be in a family that has alot of time and attention. This is the 2nd disruption for this child. From EE. This child has been raised in a Christian home. 2. 20 - yr old male needs a home will help him navigate getting a college education. From EE, his family abandoned him, he was 'not what the parents wanted', and they left him when he was 18. He is intelligent, and wants to go to college, but is not able to navigate the paperwork himself. Adopted as a small child, he does not have bonding issues, or anything of such, he needs guidance and WANTS parents, and is confused as to why his family 'left him'. This child has been raised in a Christian home; could be in a home with 3-4 other children. 3. 16 yr. old boy (from EE)  needs foster home, in North Florida, can not be with children under 12 yrs. of age. can be in a home with 3-4 other older children. For more information, please contact me.  -- Sincerely, [name redacted] Executive Director [organization redacted] - [website redacted] [organization redacted] - [website redacted] ",3768,Present availabilities,8/21/2011 10:22,201,14,1,Yes,, 194,,"Dear Friends, Thank you for your warm greetings. At the present, we have 3 possibilities: 1.  14 - yr old boy, needs to be in a single child household, or one older BOY sibling - no racially mix, and this child needs to be in a family that has alot of time and attention. This is the 2nd disruption for this child. From EE. This child has been raised in a Christian home. 2. 20 - yr old male needs a home will help him navigate getting a college education. From EE, his family abandoned him, he was 'not what the parents wanted', and they left him when he was 18. He is intelligent, and wants to go to college, but is not able to navigate the paperwork himself. Adopted as a small child, he does not have bonding issues, or anything of such, he needs guidance and WANTS parents, and is confused as to why his family 'left him'. This child has been raised in a Christian home; could be in a home with 3-4 other children. 3. 16 yr. old boy (from EE)  needs foster home, in North Florida, can not be with children under 12 yrs. of age. can be in a home with 3-4 other older children. For more information, please contact me.  -- Sincerely, [name redacted] Executive Director [organization redacted] - [website redacted] [organization redacted] - [website redacted] ",3768,Present availabilities,8/21/2011 10:22,202,20,1,Yes,, 193,,"Dear Friends, Thank you for your warm greetings. At the present, we have 3 possibilities: 1.  14 - yr old boy, needs to be in a single child household, or one older BOY sibling - no racially mix, and this child needs to be in a family that has alot of time and attention. This is the 2nd disruption for this child. From EE. This child has been raised in a Christian home. 2. 20 - yr old male needs a home will help him navigate getting a college education. From EE, his family abandoned him, he was 'not what the parents wanted', and they left him when he was 18. He is intelligent, and wants to go to college, but is not able to navigate the paperwork himself. Adopted as a small child, he does not have bonding issues, or anything of such, he needs guidance and WANTS parents, and is confused as to why his family 'left him'. This child has been raised in a Christian home; could be in a home with 3-4 other children. 3. 16 yr. old boy (from EE)  needs foster home, in North Florida, can not be with children under 12 yrs. of age. can be in a home with 3-4 other older children. For more information, please contact me.  -- Sincerely, [name redacted] Executive Director [organization redacted] - [website redacted] [organization redacted] - [website redacted] ",3768,Present availabilities,8/21/2011 10:22,203,16,1,Yes,, 196,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
This is my first post, as I'm new to this site. I'm the working mother of two girls adopted from Kazakhstan. My youngest, [initial redacted], is eight years old and has been with me for three years. My older daughter [initial redacted] is eleven years old and came home almost two years ago.
[initial redacted] has made a brilliant adjustment to life in our family. Sadly, [initial redacted] has not. When her problems at home and at school continued to grow despite counseling, I had [initial redacted] tested by a neuropsychologist. He diagnosed [initial redacted] with various cognitive and language processing disorders associated with fetal alcohol exposure, as well as RAD, ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety.
I have [initial redacted] enrolled in intensive in-home and group therapy, have started her on medication, and am doing everything I can to help her. However, [initial redacted] has little interest in bonding with me and, worse, actively dislikes and envies [initial redacted]. [initial redacted] has lashed out physically and verbally at her much smaller sister on several occasions despite repeated discussions about the importance of being safe in our family. [initial redacted]'s psychiatrist and counseling social worker have told me that it's time for to start exploring options to find [initial redacted] a new family.
[initial redacted] has many wonderful traits. She's a very pretty girl,a fine artist, a lovely dancer and an animal lover. One-on-one with an adult, she can be charming and affectionate. I believe she could be very happy in a family where she could be the only or youngest, doted child. (She might also do well in a family with many children where there wouldn't be a single, smaller child to become the exclusive focus of her jealousy.) Parents who are experienced with [initial redacted]'s medical issues would probably be better-equipped to give her the care she needs than I can.
It's important to me to find [initial redacted] a home where she can thrive and be happy. If you think you can help us, please contact me at this e-mail address.
Thank you,
[name redacted]
",3770,Seeking new home for 11-year-old-girl,8/22/2011 9:47,204,11,2,Yes,,Yes 197,Adoptive parent,"[initial redacted] needs a new home. [initial redacted] is a 9-year-old boy from Russia. He has been in the United States for almost one year. [initial redacted] is artistic, silly, loves music, animals, and soccer. He also loves to help out any way he can. Unfortunately, [initial redacted] has suffered significant trauma and we suspect some sexual abuse. His full diagnosis is currently unknown.
He has been diagnosed with ADHD and is currently being evaluated for RAD as well as FAS/FAE and other neurological issues. He is significantly delayed academically as well. He also has some medical issues which include a heart condition that may require open heart surgery. His special needs are making it difficult to parent him with two other younger children in the home. Some recent issues that have occurred between him and our other children have made us realize that we need to find another home for him.
[initial redacted] would be better off in a situation where he could be the only child or the youngest doted child. Parents who understand attachment issues and who would help him heal through continued therapy would be ideal.
We are hopeful that the right family will be led to help [initial redacted] grow into the wonderful young man he could someday become. If you would like more information about him, please contact me at [email redacted] God bless!
",3798,Need a new home for 9 year old son.,9/3/2011 14:01,205,9,1,Yes,Both,Yes 212,Non-agency facilitator,"Hi All,
I am posting this on behalf of a friend who lives locally. I spent some time with her son yesterday and he is a very polite and sweet little boy. He sat there and colored so nicely while we chatted. He has the most gentle smile and is very pleasant to be around. He reminded me of one of my children adopted from China in many ways. He tends to just zone out and quietly look around at his environment but was never disruptive in any way. He is a very cute little boy with straight blonde hair, glasses and a smile that warms your heart.
Here is a post from his adoptive mother:
It is with very heavy hearts we have reached the decision to re-home our son. He is 9 years old and has been home in the US one year today. We started the process to adopt when he was 3 years old and it took nearly 5 years to complete because he was in such a difficult region in Russia.
[initial redacted] had no education in Russia and was not even fluent in his native tongue. He could not count past 10 and was not familiar with the Cyrillic alphabet, I share this, because it has further hindered his progress at school when coupled with his other issues and challenges. We are currently fighting with the school to have an IEP done as they refuse to offer him any special services other then ESOL (English as 2nd language) and have him in a mainstream 3rd grade classroom.
We have, over the last 5 years spent all of our savings and then some to bring [initial redacted] home, but his continued care, treatment and work with therapists is beyond our ability to continue to afford. We truly have exhausted all of our financial resources at this point and are looking at the possibility of filing for bankruptcy and we already have another medically dependent child. This is one of the many reasons he would be better with another family who CAN meet those needs and doesn't have the $80,000 adoption debt hanging over their head while trying to pay for medical bills as well.
Here is what I can tell you about his diagnosis, He has been seeing a RAD specialist for the last month and a half and we are currently waiting for her final report, but he is somewhere on the RAD spectrum. There is a high likelihood we are also dealing with FAE/FAS. He is currently on ADHD medication. We are waiting on a referral from a developmental pediatrician to have some neurological testing done as well. He is incredibly small for his age, despite a very normal appetite. He also has a heart condition, that poses no immediate threat to his health or safety and currently imposes no restrictions on his activities or ability to play sports but at some time may require a surgery.
[initial redacted] is really a very sweet boy, we have had NO issues with violence, or rage or anger. We have had repeated issues with lying, stealing, hygiene, impulse control, obedience, lack of motivation, selfishness, bullying of our younger two children, and most recently the discovery that he has sexually inappropriate with our 7 year old and 4 year old.
[initial redacted] loves to be outdoors, is very active, likes to be silly, enjoys learning new sports and games, and is incredibly artistic. We truly believe [initial redacted] would do much better in an environment where he would be the only child, where there was no risk to younger children, OR to be the youngest child which would rid him of the opportunity to victimize and bully. We believe if he had undivided attention he really would have the chance to be a different child and begin to show some progress. Likewise it may be that he'd do well in a group environment where there would be enough children/people around that he wouldn't have the opportunity to vicitimize. Unfortunately none of these are environments we can provide for him... we pray that the Lord will quickly lead him to the right family.
The family is looking for a homestudy-ready family only.
If you feel you could be [initial redacted]'s family, please contact me and I will forward your info straight to his adoptive mother. My email is: [email redacted] Please do not use the address above as I no longer have that email addy but can't figure out how to remove it from Yahoo.
Thanks, [name redacted]

",4055,Sweet 9 Year old Boy from Russia Needs A Family (SE USA),12/11/2011 8:57,205,9,1,Yes,Both,Yes 198,Adoptive parent,"We are looking into dissolving the adoption of our 4.5 year old son (we have had him since he was 3 weeks old), due to severe behavior problems associated with RAD. These behaviors are much worse around younger kids and we have a 3 year old bio. son. How do you go about doing so? Is an agency vs. attorney better, and approximate costs for both. We have been drained both emotionally and financially by trying to help him. If anyone looking to possibly adopt wants more info, feel free to ask.
Thanks so much!!
",3803,New and need help!!!,9/11/2011 11:46,206,4,1,No,,Yes 199,Adoptive parent,"Hi 13 months ago my Husband I adopted a sibling group of 3 girls, we were told they did not have any major problems, only some separation anxiety. Since the adoption we have discovered all 3 were molested, the 6 year old has a defiant disorder, the 7 year old has Aspergers, and the 11 year old might have RADS (no one wants to label) The younger two have made tremendous improvement, but as they get better the oldest gets worse. She has a bitter resentment to her middle sister and it has progressed into violence. For some reason everything bad that has ever happened to her she blames on her sister. My Husband and I have tried everything and we now realize we can not help this beautiful child. If it was just me and her maybe I could handle her. My heart breaks for her because she is spiraling fast and nothing I say or do is helping. I honestly believe if she was in a home were she did not have be around her sisters she would thrive. I am looking for any help to re-home her. I have called the agency that we got her from and they are telling me that they can not help me and have since stopped taking my phone calls. I have read everything I can find on-line and I have called several attorneys. One recommended this site. I love this little girl and I only want what is best for her.
",3817,Looking for help,9/22/2011 7:43,207,11,2,,Both,Yes 200,Adoptive parent,"We adopted an 8-year old girl from China on 9/4 and felt from the beginning that her needs were going to be more than we could manage, but we just couldn't send her back to the orphanage. We believed that with structure, family and education she could come around. Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days with also adopting a 13 year old who needs our attention along with our 5 other children.
The 8 year old is a sweet, happy child with a beautiful smile that lights up the room. However, she needs intensive speech therapy and occupational therapy as she is functioning at the level of a 4-5 year old. I know there is potential with direct care, but with both of us working full time and the number of other children in our home - we do not believe we can provide the full attention that she needs and deserves.
Please share with anyone you think may be interested.
Thank you - [name redacted]
",3823,Need to Find a Family for 8 Year Old Girl from China,9/26/2011 14:48,208,8,2,Yes,,Yes 201,Adoptive parent,"[initial redacted] is a happy and energetic 8 year old boy. He was adopted domestically 2 1/2 years ago. It is with heavy hearts that we are looking for a new home for him. He has been diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. Our family doesn't seem to be a good fit for him. He does not act out sexually, is not abusive to animals, and gets along well with siblings. I believe it would be best if he is the youngest child in the family. Please email me at [email redacted] if you would like to know more about [inital redacted]. Thank you.
",3858,Home needed for 8 yr old boy,10/14/2011 0:39,209,8,1,No,,Yes 202,Non-agency facilitator,"I have been given permission to post this information. Only use contact information associated with the information, not me.
There are pictures available upon request.
[name redacted]

Child Welfare is not involved, and our only role is to match the family with the current legal Parent. From there you would need to contact an attorney to do a private attorney adoption.
IF you are interested please send information about your family to the families email below, they will respond to all families over the next week. This information NEEDS to come in the body of an email.
A little about [name redacted]: Written by [name redacted]'s adoptive Father-
[name redacted] is a highly intelligent 15 yr. old 9th grader living with her adoptive family in the North eastern U.S. [name redacted] is a native of Jamaica and speaks English. Since coming to the U.S. in May 2011 her vocabulary has increased and she speaks much clearer/slower. She had private reading classes during the summer in preparation for school during which she learned 52 site words within 6 weeks. [name redacted] also has a passion for music, she loves to sing along to the radio and her IPOD which has helped her learn even more words. She is independent and very patient. [name redacted] has displayed most of the symptoms of RAD and struggles with what adults require of her.
At home, she is often a pleasant child until she does not get her way. Due to her issues with Attachment Disorder she becomes moody and angry when she is disciplined-corrected in any manner. [name redacted] struggles with parental authority and control as her history prior to adoption included parental neglect, as well as 7 years spent in orphanage care. Although capable of demonstrating compassion and feelings, emotional attachment is a fearful and complex struggle for her. [name redacted] is taking medication for seizures; SEIZURE FREE for the last 1year.
[name redacted] will need psychological counseling to come to terms with deep seated feelings of sadness and frustration in order for her to move forward. She will need professional guidance to overcome her fears stemming from emotional hurt, pain and loss. In her evaluation, there is every indication that this child can eventually thrive in a family that is prepared to weather her storms while providing her with the recommended therapy. The right family dynamic of preferably an experienced, two parent family with or without siblings would be a very big help to this special child. Underneath her fear and anger is a wonderful girl who on occasion lets her guard down enough to display all the inherent qualities of a loving family member.
We are looking for an experienced home study ready family with access to therapy resources and services. A family should be experienced in the area of working with Attachment disorder and understanding of the complex needs of a child separated from their family and experiencing grief and loss. She deserves to transition into a family environment in which she has the opportunity to thrive and meet her full potential and ability. This is a really great kid in need of a new adoptive home. Please contact via email [email address redacted] if you are interested in learning more information about [name redacted]'s situation and her possible adoption. Thanks for your understanding and helping to find a home for one of God's deserving children.
I know we can all judge and look at these situation and say we would and they should, but we want to focus on getting [name redacted] in a family that can help her grow.
If you are interested please email your family information.

",3868,Private Adoption for [name redacted] 15 years old,10/18/2011 7:11,210,15,2,Yes,,Yes 203,Non-agency facilitator,"I have been fostering for the last 3 weeks a girl from China, here since May/June, turned 14 in August.
As far as I can tell no RAD, is very bright, can be sweet, kind, generous. Is also a spoiled brat big time, vindictive and mean when you say no. Apparently has not had No stick in the past. Has major tantrums and can assault you initially when you say no (took a week before the assaults stopped). Is an ace manipulator. Family adopted 5 kids from China in 3 years, 3 in 10 months and two with her and they couldn't handle her. I think she is salvageable but will need parents who are immune to triangulation, do not use spanking as punishment and are willing to put up with tantrums and attempts to pick fights and push buttons initially. She has been sweet with younger kids and my cats but prefers dogs. She has a lot of behavioral insight, has a lot of rage over what has happened to her and lies a lot. The dad was inappropriate with her (treated her like an adult, the counselor does not believe they had sex, but he is obsessed with her. This morning he sounded defeated and is finally realizing he needs to have no contact. Yesterday I would not have said he would cooperate with this. After two hours on the phone (home school teacher and myself) and finding our stories matched that of his wife, he is finally admitting maybe he should cut off contact and is creating problems. PArents are getting divorced.
If you want more info let me know.
This story is much longer than this.
[name redacted]
",3874,"14 year old Chinese girl, here since June needs new home",10/20/2011 14:44,211,14,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 213,Non-agency facilitator,"I am temporarily fostering a just turned 14 year old adopted from China in May.
The good - smart, kind, helpful (but has to be asked, does not voluntarily help), thoughtful, self-reflective, knows some English (academic English rougly 3rd-5th grade, math a mix of 7th, 8th and 9th depending on the concept but then doesn't know %, go figure, almost no science knowledge, Chinese history only which is intersting to say the least - she thinks we were on Japan's side and attacked China). Does not like sports, does like dance, a martial art which one I forget.
The bad - vindictive, manipulative, triangulates, can be extremely mean, has a grudge book in her head, assults you and leaves bruises, not used to no sticking and has vicious temper tantrums, hides your things when she is mad, somewhat inappropriate relationship with adoptive dad (doesn't appear to be sexaul though, you will need to have no contact as he undermines you which means control access to the phones and computer as he is on qu qu and she will go balistic when you do this), has been verbally abused by adoptive mom. Does not appear to steal. Is a snotty rich brat (in China family was wealthy- very wealthy - and possibly sent here for an education).
Adoptive family is divorcing, kid is a pawn in this, it will be over the mom's dead body this kid will go live with dad and she will make false sex abuse accusations if necessary to make that stick. Family did not enroll the child in school, she is currently being homeschooled to try to figure out if we can catch her up to either 7th or 8th grade before enrolling her in public school.
This would be a private adoption.
[name redacted]
",3945,14 year old from China here almost 5 months,10/19/2011 11:02,211,14,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 240,Non-agency facilitator,"Home needed for 14.5 year old Chinese girl in the USA since June 2011. She is currently living in a therapeutic unofficial foster home (living with her counselor's family; that family has 4 adopted kids and two bio). Child does not want to be in the USA and wants to go home to China. She lived a very pampered life in the same foster home her entire life prior to being adopted. She does not want to live in with the family she is currently living with and they are not a good match for her needs for the long term (too many kids to give her the one on one attention she needs and she needs to be in a house that has significantly more disposable income than the family she is currently living with).
Family needs to be very experienced. Preference is for a two parent family with a strong marriage (child is used to a father she can manipulate - both in China and the USA and needs to see modeled a healthy husband/wife relationship) and be the only or youngest child in a very small family. Child is extremely emotionally needy and emotionally demanding and will require significant one on one attention. She does not have RAD. Parents need to be immune to triangulation, incredibly consistent, and pretty laid back/liberal in how they approach parenting. She does not do well with when I say jump you ask how high. That approach creates problems with her. There are other ways to get her to comply that work better that a more military approach. She does have some Christian beliefs but is not devotedly religious and would probably not do well in a family that isn't open to a child who, at this time, is ambivalent about Christianity and religion in general. This will take a lot of time and trying to force the issue will result in oppositional behavior.
This child is very bright, has empathy and compassion, loves small dogs, is behind in school and can be a joy and a pleasure to be around but also has significant needs, is emotionally about 5, and has some emotional, social and personality trait issues that are going to require patience, counseling and time. She is otherwise healthy.
For more information and the contact information for the family who has guardianship please contact: [name redacted] (this is a yahoo address in case yahoo cuts it off) at [email redacted]
Thanks, [name redacted]
",4534,14.5 Chinese girl needs new family,4/7/2012 13:47,211,14,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 204,,"We are really struggling with this decision, but we feel our daughter needs to be in a home with no other children. We have 2 other children and it's just not working. She's fine when they are not around, but gets disregulated easily when they are around and we all live here, so that's the main issue that we see at this time. Please contact me with any questions. Thank you.
",3878,"8-year old girl, new home needed",10/22/2011 10:26,212,8,2,,, 205,Adoptive parent,"[name redacted] is cute, funny, playful, athletic and polite. He is 10 years old according to records, but his actual birthdate is unknown. He desires attention, yet contentedly plays well by himself. He is not aggressive or violent and he does not throw tantrums. For the most part, he is submissive to adults. He loves to ride bikes, play soccer, swim, learn new sports and basically anything active. He also loves music, has taken some piano lessons and is very artistic ( he draws amazingly well). [name redacted] was found on the streets in the Philippines and lived in an orphanage for 3 years, before being placed with us for adoption in late 2009. After the adoption was finalized, we discovered that, in addition to being abandoned by his parents, he was molested by other kids. Because of his living in survival mode the first few years of his life, he lacks empathy and lies to get out of getting in trouble. He has successfully acted out sexually towards an adopted sibling younger than him, using manipulation and bribery (non-violent). Therefore, he should not be in a home with younger or same age children. [name redacted] has been in extensive counseling in a treatment center for the last 4 months healing from his own trauma/abuse, learning what appropriate sexual behavior is, and learning how to feel empathy towards others. He has made a lot of progress. He has been diagnosed with PTSD and some ADD, which has caused difficulty with learning. His IQ scores tested low, but it could be due to his language skills. He speaks English and can communicate his every need, very easily. However, he doesn't always understand English vocabulary, although he pretends he does. He has never been put on any medications. He has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but has not shown violent behaviors towards animals or people. His RAD behavior is fairly subtle. Due to the psychological effects on our other children, we can't in good conscience bring him back into our home and with HEAVY hearts we are seeking a new parent or parents for him. Please contact me at [email redacted] or on this site.",3946,10 year old boy currently in treatment needs loving parent,Yes,213,10,1,Yes,Sexual,Yes 208,,"[initial redacted] is cute, funny, playful, athletic and polite. He is 10 years old according to records, but his actual birthdate is unknown. He desires attention, yet contentedly plays well by himself. He is not aggressive or violent and he does not throw tantrums. For the most part, he is submissive to adults. He loves to ride bikes, play soccer, swim, learn new sports and basically anything active. He also loves music, has taken some piano lessons and is very artistic ( he draws amazingly well).
[initial redacted] was found on the streets in the Philippines and lived in an orphanage for 3 years, before being placed with a family for adoption in September 2009. After the adoption was finalized, it was discovered that, in addition to being abandoned by his parents, he was molested by other kids. Because of his living in survival mode the first few years of his life, he lacks empathy and lies to get out of getting in trouble. He has successfully acted out sexually towards an adopted sibling younger than he, using manipulation and bribery (non-violent).
[initial redacted] has been in extensive counseling in a treatment center for the last 4 months healing from his own trauma/abuse, learning what appropriate sexual behavior is, and learning how to feel empathy towards others. He has made a lot of progress.
He has been diagnosed with PTSD and some ADD, which has caused difficulty with learning. His IQ scores tested low, but it could be due to his language skills. He speaks English and can communicate his every need very easily. However, he doesn't always understand English vocabulary, although he pretends he does. He has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but has not shown violent behaviors toward animals or people. His RAD behavior is fairly subtle. We believe that [initial redacted] will do best where he is the youngest child in a family. We prefer experienced parents, preferably experienced with older child adoption. Because of his impulse control issues, [initial redacted] should not be left unsupervised with smaller or younger children.
There will be no fees associated with this adoption, aside from the costs associated with home study, visiting with the child prior to placement, post-placement services, and final adoption court costs.
Please contact [name redacted] at [organization redacted], [phone number redacted], or at [email redacted], for further information.

",3960,10 year old boy needs replacement famiily,11/2/2011 17:56,213,10,1,Yes,Sexual,Yes 287,Non-agency facilitator,"[organization redacted] is advocating for [name redacted] who is currently going through an adoption disruption. [name redacted] was adopted from the Philippines in 2009 and is currently 10 years old. [organization redacted] was the family's placing agency, but because the adoption is now finalized, our assistance will be limited to our advocacy and recruitment of an appropriate new family, as requested by his family. [organization redacted] hopes to connect interested adoptive families to [name redacted]'s family to discuss the possible adoption of [name redacted]. This re-placement will be considered a domestic adoption and will likely involve ICPC. The prospective family will work directly with [name redacted]'s current adoptive family. If your family is interested and open to parenting a child through a disrupted placement, contact the family at [email redacted]. [name redacted]'s family is open and willing to discuss any questions you may have about [name redacted]'s needs. Below is a description of [name redacted], written by his adoptive parents.
[initial redacted] is cute, funny, playful, athletic and polite. He is 10 years old according to records, but his actual birthdate is unknown. He desires attention, yet contentedly plays well by himself. He is not aggressive or violent and he does not throw tantrums. For the most part, he is submissive to adults. He loves to ride bikes, play soccer, swim, learn new sports and basically anything active. He also loves music, has taken some piano lessons and is very artistic ( he draws amazingly well).
[initial redacted] was found on the streets in the Philippines and lived in an orphanage for 3 years, before being placed with us for adoption in September 2009. After the adoption was finalized, we discovered that, in addition to being abandoned by his parents, he was molested by other kids. Because of his living in survival mode the first few years of his life, he lacks empathy and lies to get out of getting in trouble. He has successfully acted out sexually towards an adopted sibling younger than him, using manipulation and bribery (non-violent).
[inital redacted] has been in extensive counseling in a treatment center for the last 4 months healing from his own trauma/abuse, learning what appropriate sexual behavior is, and learning how to feel empathy towards others. He has made a lot of progress.
He has been diagnosed with PTSD and some ADD, which has caused difficulty with learning. His IQ scores tested low, but it could be due to his language skills. He speaks English and can communicate his every need, very easily. However, he doesn't always understand English vocabulary, although he pretends he does. He has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but has not shown violent behaviors towards animals or people. His RAD behavior is fairly subtle.
We believe that [initial redacted] will do best where he is the youngest child in a family. We prefer experienced parents, preferably experienced with older child adoption. Because of his impulse control issues, [initial redacted] should not be left unsupervised with smaller or younger children.
There will be no fees associated with this adoption, aside from the costs associated home study, visiting with the child prior to placement, post-placement services, and final adoption court costs.
[name redacted], [organization redacted] [address redacted]
[phone number redacted]",4015,got from another group. child needs family,11/11/2011 9:02,213,10,1,Yes,Sexual,Yes 207,,"Sisters Who Need a Loving Family to Re-Adopt Them
A family is needed to re-adopt [name redacted] age 15 and her sister [name redacted] age 9, born in Ethiopia and placed in an adoptive home in the US two years ago.
[name redacted] has many strengths. She enjoys playing organized soccer games, Frisbee, softball, long jump, 50-meter dash, a mile run and 100-meter relay. She also enjoys writing her friends. She speaks English well with a detectable accent. She is in 8th grade and her school work is modified for ESL. Her teacher says she is bright, quick to learn and knows to ask for help when needed. She enjoys the social and academic challenges of school, although she can be hard on herself; in her own country she was number one in her class. She is coordinated physically, artistic, creative and she enjoys laughing. She is pleasant with others especially adult women. [name redacted]'s own goals are to be honest, safe and learn to trust. In short term therapy she is a very diligent client and is learning self- soothing skills, ways to cope with anxiety and increase her self-esteem, and to be more compliant. Her therapist said that after learning coping skills in residential treatment, she left as a bright, cheerful girl. She practices deep breathing techniques to calm down especially around social settings with negative peers. She is learning not to be bossy or rude with peers. She is learning not to react with anger when she is in situations she doesn't understand. She has good hygiene and takes pride in her appearance and room.
[name redacted] is currently taking medication that has helped control her moods and ADHD. She has been in short term residential treatment and she responded well, and she recently enrolled in a Christian boarding school. She is proud of her new skills that have helped her to express her feelings and to understand what has occurred in her life. She is not acting out sexually nor physically aggressive with others, but has threatened to harm herself; [name redacted] has felt hopeless and talked of suicide. She has responded well to music and art therapy, as well as Horse therapy. She thrived with the horses and made a positive connection with her mentor and her horse, and took great care of this animal. She was calm and never showed any aggression. [name redacted]'s art therapist described her as bright and creative and very willing to use art for meaningful self -expression concerning her challenging experiences in life. She has dealt with immense heartache in her short 15 years - both her birthfather and mother died, at age 7 she lived on the streets for several years, experiencing physical and emotional abuse, then lived in an orphanage. [name redacted] left her language and culture and lived with an adopted family for two years, living with a respite family occasionally, went to short term therapy, attended public school and now started private boarding school. [name redacted] is scared and needs help with her many worries that make it hard for her to fall asleep at night. She is insightful about her own emotions though and eager to change.
The younger sister [name redacted], age 9 is currently living at home with her adoptive parents. She has not experienced behavior issues at school or with peers, and she is a good student, hard worker and she likes to please others. She is talkative, loves to sing, has a good sense of humor, keeps a tidy room and enjoys watching animated DVD's. She has age appropriate hygiene. Before bed time she likes to read with her dad and then be sung to sleep. When she was first adopted it took four months before she would let her dad touch her. She loves to receive kisses from her mom but is not demonstrative, although she has made some progress with her attachment.
[name redacted] is taking daily medication for PTSD and RAD to help regulate her emotions. [name redacted] can become aggressive when scared or angry, kicking, scratching or hitting; she was hospitalized after physically aggressing her mom. In short term therapy she learned to manage the big energy of anger. She needs a night-light as she is scared of the dark. She still sleep walks occasionally but the night mares and night terrors have decreased.
[name redacted] and [name redacted] were adopted by parents who lacked prior experience with adoption and a good understanding of the needs of older adopted children. Her adopted mother suffers from clinical depression and is no longer able to parent these two sisters. [name redacted] hugs her parents and says, I love you, but she will require a great deal of help with attachment, as will [name redacted]. As a result of trauma, abuse and neglect, [name redacted] and [name redacted] both have significant emotional needs.
[organization redacted] has often seen children that react as these girls have in their first family, but who can go on to make considerable progress with the appropriate family and professional treatment; however, there can be no guarantees if or when the sisters might learn to trust and be able to settle into a family. Patience with the attachment process, and a calm, therapeutic, structured environment is key to their healing.
[name redacted] and [name redacted] need a highly nurturing family that is committed to on- going therapy and support for these girls. An experienced adoptive family with an understanding of attachment disorders and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder would be ideal. A family with other children is possible, but ideally no very young children. Both sisters respond well to structure, predictability and fair expectations. We are looking for a family who has a homestudy or can have one ready quickly. Family must be willing to follow recommended transition plan, as well as pay any travel fees, attorney fees (to finalize re-adoption) and post-placement reporting fees associated with the adoption. Fees are considered minimal by most families. Their original adoption was a full and final adoption, subsequently the re-adoption will be a private adoption, and Interstate compact approval (ICPC) will be needed before the children can move out of state to a new home. they are in the midwest. Married couples may apply. Ideally the girls will be re-home together, but we will consider separate placements if the families agree to allow contact between the sisters.
Please contact [name redacted] at [email redacted] for more information.
[organization redacted] ([website redacted]) is a non-profit adoption agency

",3958,2 sisters need readoption,11/2/2011 10:07,214,15,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 206,,"Sisters Who Need a Loving Family to Re-Adopt Them
A family is needed to re-adopt [name redacted] age 15 and her sister [name redacted] age 9, born in Ethiopia and placed in an adoptive home in the US two years ago.
[name redacted] has many strengths. She enjoys playing organized soccer games, Frisbee, softball, long jump, 50-meter dash, a mile run and 100-meter relay. She also enjoys writing her friends. She speaks English well with a detectable accent. She is in 8th grade and her school work is modified for ESL. Her teacher says she is bright, quick to learn and knows to ask for help when needed. She enjoys the social and academic challenges of school, although she can be hard on herself; in her own country she was number one in her class. She is coordinated physically, artistic, creative and she enjoys laughing. She is pleasant with others especially adult women. [name redacted]'s own goals are to be honest, safe and learn to trust. In short term therapy she is a very diligent client and is learning self- soothing skills, ways to cope with anxiety and increase her self-esteem, and to be more compliant. Her therapist said that after learning coping skills in residential treatment, she left as a bright, cheerful girl. She practices deep breathing techniques to calm down especially around social settings with negative peers. She is learning not to be bossy or rude with peers. She is learning not to react with anger when she is in situations she doesn't understand. She has good hygiene and takes pride in her appearance and room.
[name redacted] is currently taking medication that has helped control her moods and ADHD. She has been in short term residential treatment and she responded well, and she recently enrolled in a Christian boarding school. She is proud of her new skills that have helped her to express her feelings and to understand what has occurred in her life. She is not acting out sexually nor physically aggressive with others, but has threatened to harm herself; [name redacted] has felt hopeless and talked of suicide. She has responded well to music and art therapy, as well as Horse therapy. She thrived with the horses and made a positive connection with her mentor and her horse, and took great care of this animal. She was calm and never showed any aggression. [name redacted]'s art therapist described her as bright and creative and very willing to use art for meaningful self -expression concerning her challenging experiences in life. She has dealt with immense heartache in her short 15 years - both her birthfather and mother died, at age 7 she lived on the streets for several years, experiencing physical and emotional abuse, then lived in an orphanage. [name redacted] left her language and culture and lived with an adopted family for two years, living with a respite family occasionally, went to short term therapy, attended public school and now started private boarding school. [name redacted] is scared and needs help with her many worries that make it hard for her to fall asleep at night. She is insightful about her own emotions though and eager to change.
The younger sister [name redacted], age 9 is currently living at home with her adoptive parents. She has not experienced behavior issues at school or with peers, and she is a good student, hard worker and she likes to please others. She is talkative, loves to sing, has a good sense of humor, keeps a tidy room and enjoys watching animated DVD's. She has age appropriate hygiene. Before bed time she likes to read with her dad and then be sung to sleep. When she was first adopted it took four months before she would let her dad touch her. She loves to receive kisses from her mom but is not demonstrative, although she has made some progress with her attachment.
[name redacted] is taking daily medication for PTSD and RAD to help regulate her emotions. [name redacted] can become aggressive when scared or angry, kicking, scratching or hitting; she was hospitalized after physically aggressing her mom. In short term therapy she learned to manage the big energy of anger. She needs a night-light as she is scared of the dark. She still sleep walks occasionally but the night mares and night terrors have decreased.
[name redacted] and [name redacted] were adopted by parents who lacked prior experience with adoption and a good understanding of the needs of older adopted children. Her adopted mother suffers from clinical depression and is no longer able to parent these two sisters. [name redacted] hugs her parents and says, I love you, but she will require a great deal of help with attachment, as will [name redacted]. As a result of trauma, abuse and neglect, [name redacted] and [name redacted] both have significant emotional needs.
[organization redacted] has often seen children that react as these girls have in their first family, but who can go on to make considerable progress with the appropriate family and professional treatment; however, there can be no guarantees if or when the sisters might learn to trust and be able to settle into a family. Patience with the attachment process, and a calm, therapeutic, structured environment is key to their healing.
[name redacted] and [name redacted] need a highly nurturing family that is committed to on- going therapy and support for these girls. An experienced adoptive family with an understanding of attachment disorders and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder would be ideal. A family with other children is possible, but ideally no very young children. Both sisters respond well to structure, predictability and fair expectations. We are looking for a family who has a homestudy or can have one ready quickly. Family must be willing to follow recommended transition plan, as well as pay any travel fees, attorney fees (to finalize re-adoption) and post-placement reporting fees associated with the adoption. Fees are considered minimal by most families. Their original adoption was a full and final adoption, subsequently the re-adoption will be a private adoption, and Interstate compact approval (ICPC) will be needed before the children can move out of state to a new home. they are in the midwest. Married couples may apply. Ideally the girls will be re-home together, but we will consider separate placements if the families agree to allow contact between the sisters.
Please contact [name redacted] at [email redacted] for more information.
[organization redacted] ([website redacted]) is a non-profit adoption agency

",3958,2 sisters need readoption,11/2/2011 10:07,215,9,2,Yes,Physical,Yes 209,Non-agency facilitator,"Family returned little boy to their attorney this week (private adoption 6 mo ago) . We are babysitting until a family can be found.
Must have homestudy ready to send to attorney and ability to travel to Tampa/Clearwater -St. Petersburg area soon.
FEES under $1000 ( filing fees only), less for FL residents
Child is a FL resident, but a loving Christian home from any state is fine.
Serious inquiries only please.
Thanks everyone!!!!

",4004,3 yr old w/CP,11/9/2011 4:02,216,3,1,,,Yes 211,,"FYI Meet [name redacted] and [name redacted]! This sister, [name redacted] age 5, and brother, [name redacted], age 3, were adopted early this year from Ethiopia. The ages on their referral were off by several years, so they came into their new home and unexpectedly replaced the original birth order. Their birth parents both have HIV but are still alive in Ethiopia. There is one known older brother and one sister still in Ethiopia. Since [name redacted] and [name redacted] came with big emotional needs, their adoption is disrupting. The family has made this very difficult and unimaginable decision because the other children in the home are being harmed and learning to stay away from the mother and father because it makes their adopted siblings angry. The children are U.S. citizens and need to have a new home where there are no other children under the age of 8 or 9. It is thought that they might thrive best where they are the only children in the home. [name redacted] and [name redacted] have RAD behaviors, so a new family should be very familiar with parenting children with these problems. The boy has RAD behavior in that he intentionally wets his pants, and occasionally has soiled them and has a time or two smeared it on the wall. [name redacted] and [name redacted] are both extremely smart and proficient for their age in the English language. The estimated date that they came into the orphanage in Ethiopia is approximately October 2009. Then about October 2010, when their adoption began, they moved into the agency's foster transitional home. They came home to the U.S. in April of 2011. This makes at least 4 placements for these children in the past 2 years, which easily accounts for RAD behavior. The adoptive family has tried very hard to assimilate the children into their home, but they see too much internal destruction and are making the extremely difficult decision to find a new family. The original referral indicated that [name redacted] was just turning 3, and [name redacted] was just turning 2. But their behavior is that of older children, and a dentist confirmed that [name redacted] is at least 5, possible 6. A Protestant Christian home is being sought. We are not able to work with families in the following states, because these states do not accept a Direct Consent adoption: CT, MA, DE, CO, IL or FL. Contact [organization redacted] at: [email redacted]; ",4005,"3 yr Boy, 5 yr Girl from Ethiopia in US Need New Family",11/9/2011 9:33,217,5,2,Yes,,Yes 210,,"FYI Meet [name redacted] and [name redacted]! This sister, [name redacted] age 5, and brother, [name redacted], age 3, were adopted early this year from Ethiopia. The ages on their referral were off by several years, so they came into their new home and unexpectedly replaced the original birth order. Their birth parents both have HIV but are still alive in Ethiopia. There is one known older brother and one sister still in Ethiopia. Since [name redacted] and [name redacted] came with big emotional needs, their adoption is disrupting. The family has made this very difficult and unimaginable decision because the other children in the home are being harmed and learning to stay away from the mother and father because it makes their adopted siblings angry. The children are U.S. citizens and need to have a new home where there are no other children under the age of 8 or 9. It is thought that they might thrive best where they are the only children in the home. [name redacted] and [name redacted] have RAD behaviors, so a new family should be very familiar with parenting children with these problems. The boy has RAD behavior in that he intentionally wets his pants, and occasionally has soiled them and has a time or two smeared it on the wall. [name redacted] and [name redacted] are both extremely smart and proficient for their age in the English language. The estimated date that they came into the orphanage in Ethiopia is approximately October 2009. Then about October 2010, when their adoption began, they moved into the agency's foster transitional home. They came home to the U.S. in April of 2011. This makes at least 4 placements for these children in the past 2 years, which easily accounts for RAD behavior. The adoptive family has tried very hard to assimilate the children into their home, but they see too much internal destruction and are making the extremely difficult decision to find a new family. The original referral indicated that [name redacted] was just turning 3, and [name redacted] was just turning 2. But their behavior is that of older children, and a dentist confirmed that [name redacted] is at least 5, possible 6. A Protestant Christian home is being sought. We are not able to work with families in the following states, because these states do not accept a Direct Consent adoption: CT, MA, DE, CO, IL or FL. Contact [organization redacted] at: [email redacted]; ",4005,"3 yr Boy, 5 yr Girl from Ethiopia in US Need New Family",11/9/2011 9:33,218,3,1,Yes,,Yes 214,Adoptive parent,"After 3 long years we are finally at a point where we don't know what to do with our daugther. I never believed in disruption - but I now believe that we are not equipped to handle our daugther's severe problems. She is destroying our family and making life miserable for our other children. Can anyone offer advice? I am at the point of considering a disruption. Also, if anyone can help with resources. I think she needs to be placed in a psych ward - even if temporarily. We get very little help from medical professionals who act as though they don't believe how bad it is. She has been diagnosed with SPD, ADD and ODD - yet they do not understand the extent of her behavior and rages. I personally feel she may also have RAD. We are virtual prisoners in our home b/c she can not go anywhere and she is on the verge of being expelled from kindergarten. Any advice would be appreciated.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
",4064,Don't know what to do . . . .,12/13/2011 17:00,220,,2,,,Yes 215,Adoptive parent,"Hello,
I am new to this group. We have a 7 year old son who was adopted from Ethiopia just over two years ago. We have made the very painful decision that we are unable to parent him and meet his special needs. We are seeking to find a suitable, qualified family to adopt him. It would be ideal for him to be either the youngest or the only child in the family.
Our son has multiple special needs, including a moderate cognitive impairment and a signficant speech impairment (he is almost completely nonverbal, using some single words and a few basic signs). He has mild cerebal palsy, with some motor impairments (toe-walking) so he wears braces (AFOs) to help steady his walking. He also has pervasive developmental disorder and the eating disorder pica. Due to early childhood trauma, he has reactive attachment disorder (disinhibited), and was also recently diagnosed with mood disorder.
Our son has a lot of anger and is physically aggressive. He needs a home where the parents know all of his complicated needs and are prepared to meet them and provide him the necessary treatment. We have done all we can for him, but simply cannot handle the situation any longer. We have two other children (ages 10 and 3) who have been very negatively impacted by having him in our home.
Our son really enjoys music, and when he is listening to music or dancing this is when he really shines. He likes to look at books and play with toys that he can sort and stack. He works well with his teachers and seems to interact nicely with his peers at school.
We love our son very much, and wanted to provide him with the best life possible. Now we are realizing that in order to do that we will have to let him go. Our hearts are breaking, but we know that in the end this will be best for him, and for all of us.
It is our hope that our son could be adopted by a Christian family, as our faith is very important to us. We desire to be able to be informed about how he is doing, and especially for our other children to still be able to know about and contact their brother.
Thank you, [name redacted]

",4219,seeking family for son with special needs,1/6/2012 12:56,221,7,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 217,Adoptive parent,"Hello~
We are new to this group and it was suggested to me by another mom I had talked to on the phone last night from another Yahoo Group to post on here.
We are beginning the process of researching a new home for our son. We have had 3 leads, but they all have not been the best match for our son to heal and get healthy, so we are trying some new avenues.
He is a 6 year old boy. He has blond hair and green eyes and is Caucasian. He weighs about 52 and is about 46 inches tall. He is average weight for his size and has a very healthy diet and good eating habits.
He was adopted by us from his paternal grandparents domestically, along with his sister in February of 2008 through a private adoption. Our son was almost 3 and his sister 9 months. At that time we also had our adopted daughter age 10 months with us in the home.
He previously had 5-6 care givers in 4 different homes before we adopted him. We were told both of his bio-parents are bipolar. He was physically abused (he mentions being hit with a belt) and possibly sexually abused when he was a toddler, we do not know this for certain.
As a result of the above, he suffers from reactive attachment disorder (RAD). He has difficulty bonding and is very manipulative and controlling. He has pushed his younger sisters on multiple occasions and would not be a candidate for a family with a child younger than 10 in the home. He has been sexually aggressively exploring according to our therapist, but nothing pathologic.
To help with impulse control our son was started on Concerta over the summer and has not had any issues of the sexual exploration kind since then and it has helped tone down many other symptoms.
He is very intelligent and creative. I have home schooled him the past year and a half. He is completing 1st grade work. He is great 1 on 1 and we have a lot of fun learning together and he does very well. He catches on fast for the most part. We are involved in two home school groups and he does very well in those with interacting with peers in a structured setting, listening, following directions and is very polite.
He is a perfectionist, so if he has a hard time with something he will get frustrated, but responds well to positive cheer leading. We are a Christian family and go to church. His recall of Bible stories and any story is amazing. He is creative and so talented with coloring, drawing and creating with legos. He truly has a servant's heart. He LOVES to help around the house with chores and is very responsible and obedient in that way. When he does a job, it is done well. When he is not around his younger sisters (both age 4), he is thoughtful and much easier to control and be around. He is very neat with his room and toys and has a real sense of order and organization. He enjoys sports and loves to play baseball. He is currently learning karate and loves to cook as well. He enjoys outside things like fishing, swimming and hiking. We believe he would do great in a home with experienced or older parents whose children are grown or at least of age 10 and of strong, confident personality.
Our son has been evaluated by NACD (National Association of Childhood Development). A full report can be provided on their findings and the therapy we complete with him. (Over the past 3 months he moved an entire year in auditory processing!). His delays are in auditory processing, and he is very strong in visual processing. He is also seeing a psychologist to process his feelings and define what a family is. He is about to undergo formal testing and those results would be shared with an interested family.
We are looking for a family that are Christians and would be willing to home school him. (If not for many years for at least 2-3 while he is in therapy and bonding to his new family (it would not be healthy for him to be seperated 6-8 hours a day from his new family).) He needs a home without younger siblings and with parents that are familiar with RAD and the therapy needed to bond and be healthy or very willing to learn and read up on the condition. He will need continued therapy for his RAD with a trained professional and to attach to his new family.
We are also looking for a family that would consider continuing to work with NACD (National Association of Childhood Development) as that is a strong component in [name redacted]'s functioning as well and we have seen greater improvement with that component.
We are considering disruption of our adoption as we feel for our son to get healthy and thrive he needs to be in a home without younger siblings. This is also for the safety of our girls and so that they can fully reach their potential. That is really the bottom line.
We love our son and will miss many things about him but he can't get the proper attention and therapy he needs in our home with having two younger siblings that he can control and manipulate. He also needs parents that can give him the needed attention for bonding and therapy, so older children or children out of the home are recommended.
If you have any questions, please feel free to reply.
Warmly and With Hope and Prayer, [name redacted]

",4266,Praying for a new home for a domestically adopted 6 year old boy,1/13/2012 12:37,223,6,1,No,Both,Yes 219,Adoptive parent,"Hi - We have a set of beautiful 10 year old Caucasian twins (a boy and a girl) that we are looking to find a new home for. We are mostly unfamiliar with the processes and protocol for a`disruption', however my wife and I are committed to finding the best new home possible for them.
We adopted them through a county in California (where we live) 8 years ago as an addition to our family with our 2 biological children who were 4 and 6 at the time. We had all the hopes and dreams of most adopting families and thought that through tenderly loving and accepting these kids we could nurture them into our family and heal their wounds. In short, after 8 years of trying to do this unsuccessfully we have come to the realization that for all the parties involved it would be best if they found another home.
Their issues are certainly not as bad as so many Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD) kids'. Neither of them is ever violent or harmful to themselves, others or animals. They tend to have typical RAD behaviors of many adopted children including resistance to doing things (defiance), dysregulation, impulsivity and failure to connect to others and form meaningful relationships. We also try not to rely on medication so neither of them takes any meds for their behaviors, however [name redacted] does sometimes take a medication to help her sleep better.
[name redacted] is more of the dissociative personality type. She just doesn't tend to feel much of anything and seems disconnected from what is going on around her. She likes to escape into reading, which is something she has just begun doing in the last 6 months. She is in the special education program at school due to her learning disability. She is diagnosed primarily with RAD, but we now think that they both may have been exposed in utero to either alcohol or drugs.
[name redacted] is more on the hyperactive side. He has always been our 'fire' that needed putting out due to his impulsivity and rages. His rages have gotten much better, but he is still very impulsive and dysregulated, and because of that, he does what he wants to and not what we want him to. He talks constantly and he always needs to have control of the situation, including when he plays with [name redacted]. He tells her what to say and what to do, and she happily (most of the time) does it. He also is in the special education program at school and has also learned to read in the last year. He doesn't like to do school work and won't read on his own unless we force him to although he can spend hours quietly knitting, playing blocks or drawing.
Both of the children tell lies. They tend to do what they want to do, or say what they want to say, without a sense of feeling good or bad based upon what they've done/said. They will feel badly once they're caught. They have taken things, but I can't say we have a huge stealing problem. They do have oppositionality, [name redacted] more so than [name redacted]. No sexual issues at all. We don't think of them as manipulative and don't think that is what drives them. We think what drives them is just their own self-interest. Yes, they are very charming, but I think that is a protective survival mechanism, rather than them using that as a means to get things they want from others. They've never told the school lies such as that we abuse them or pitted the teachers/principal against us.
They enjoy children younger than themselves and often find 4 or 5 year olds to play with at the park. They can be very nurturing to the younger ones. That is [name redacted]'s best quality! [name redacted] is beautiful so we had him in a modeling school for awhile. He had great potential, but he gets so overwhelmed by everything so quickly and becomes so disruptive (mainly through talk) that he just couldn't continue. He also has an amazing singing voice. [name redacted] is called 'sweet [name redacted]' by everyone, and she is beautiful too, but she doesn't have quite the spark that [name redacted] has in terms of doing the professional modeling/acting.
Honestly, in some respects we can't say they are all that bad, but we are comparing them to the worst. Their dysregulation and lack of connection to us, along with their extreme disorganization, both externally and internally, have torn our family apart. We just don't feel they are connected to us in the way that our biological children are, and even though we used to feel connected to them (not them to us) and loved them to pieces, it deteriorated over the years. We have tried so hard to help them and not really seen progress, and we just got more and more frustrated.
We never would have believed we would EVER be considering giving our children up, but here we are. And I know you've heard this story many times over. We know it is time for us to give them up and time for them to be on a different path. Our whole family is numb from the constant battle of trying to make things work and the continual focus on trying to get the twins to conform to what the rest of us want. In short we want them to have a better home. One that works for them. These children deserve more. They deserve to be in a home where they are accepted as they are and nurtured to grow in an environment that is loving and caring.
Please email me with your thoughts and interest. We also have a number of recent evaluations on them by their school and psychologists if that is of interest.
Warmly
[name redacted] and [name redacted]

",4271,Looking for a good home for beautiful 10yo twins,1/14/2012 19:43,224,10,2,No,,Yes 218,Adoptive parent,"Hi - We have a set of beautiful 10 year old Caucasian twins (a boy and a girl) that we are looking to find a new home for. We are mostly unfamiliar with the processes and protocol for a`disruption', however my wife and I are committed to finding the best new home possible for them.
We adopted them through a county in California (where we live) 8 years ago as an addition to our family with our 2 biological children who were 4 and 6 at the time. We had all the hopes and dreams of most adopting families and thought that through tenderly loving and accepting these kids we could nurture them into our family and heal their wounds. In short, after 8 years of trying to do this unsuccessfully we have come to the realization that for all the parties involved it would be best if they found another home.
Their issues are certainly not as bad as so many Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD) kids'. Neither of them is ever violent or harmful to themselves, others or animals. They tend to have typical RAD behaviors of many adopted children including resistance to doing things (defiance), dysregulation, impulsivity and failure to connect to others and form meaningful relationships. We also try not to rely on medication so neither of them takes any meds for their behaviors, however [name redacted] does sometimes take a medication to help her sleep better.
[name redacted] is more of the dissociative personality type. She just doesn't tend to feel much of anything and seems disconnected from what is going on around her. She likes to escape into reading, which is something she has just begun doing in the last 6 months. She is in the special education program at school due to her learning disability. She is diagnosed primarily with RAD, but we now think that they both may have been exposed in utero to either alcohol or drugs.
[name redacted] is more on the hyperactive side. He has always been our 'fire' that needed putting out due to his impulsivity and rages. His rages have gotten much better, but he is still very impulsive and dysregulated, and because of that, he does what he wants to and not what we want him to. He talks constantly and he always needs to have control of the situation, including when he plays with [name redacted]. He tells her what to say and what to do, and she happily (most of the time) does it. He also is in the special education program at school and has also learned to read in the last year. He doesn't like to do school work and won't read on his own unless we force him to although he can spend hours quietly knitting, playing blocks or drawing.
Both of the children tell lies. They tend to do what they want to do, or say what they want to say, without a sense of feeling good or bad based upon what they've done/said. They will feel badly once they're caught. They have taken things, but I can't say we have a huge stealing problem. They do have oppositionality, [name redacted] more so than [name redacted]. No sexual issues at all. We don't think of them as manipulative and don't think that is what drives them. We think what drives them is just their own self-interest. Yes, they are very charming, but I think that is a protective survival mechanism, rather than them using that as a means to get things they want from others. They've never told the school lies such as that we abuse them or pitted the teachers/principal against us.
They enjoy children younger than themselves and often find 4 or 5 year olds to play with at the park. They can be very nurturing to the younger ones. That is [name redacted]'s best quality! [name redacted] is beautiful so we had him in a modeling school for awhile. He had great potential, but he gets so overwhelmed by everything so quickly and becomes so disruptive (mainly through talk) that he just couldn't continue. He also has an amazing singing voice. [name redacted] is called 'sweet [name redacted]' by everyone, and she is beautiful too, but she doesn't have quite the spark that [name redacted] has in terms of doing the professional modeling/acting.
Honestly, in some respects we can't say they are all that bad, but we are comparing them to the worst. Their dysregulation and lack of connection to us, along with their extreme disorganization, both externally and internally, have torn our family apart. We just don't feel they are connected to us in the way that our biological children are, and even though we used to feel connected to them (not them to us) and loved them to pieces, it deteriorated over the years. We have tried so hard to help them and not really seen progress, and we just got more and more frustrated.
We never would have believed we would EVER be considering giving our children up, but here we are. And I know you've heard this story many times over. We know it is time for us to give them up and time for them to be on a different path. Our whole family is numb from the constant battle of trying to make things work and the continual focus on trying to get the twins to conform to what the rest of us want. In short we want them to have a better home. One that works for them. These children deserve more. They deserve to be in a home where they are accepted as they are and nurtured to grow in an environment that is loving and caring.
Please email me with your thoughts and interest. We also have a number of recent evaluations on them by their school and psychologists if that is of interest.
Warmly
[name redacted] and [name redacted]

",4271,Looking for a good home for beautiful 10yo twins,1/14/2012 19:43,225,10,1,No,,Yes 220,Adoptive parent," After 2 1/2 years of struggling with the decision, we have come to the conclusion that we don't have any ohter choice but to disrupt the adoption of our 14 year old daughter. Before finding this group, it seemed like no one understood what we are going through. We are in Alabama and not really sure where or how to start the process of disrupting the adoption. If there is anyone who could give us any information on how to start the process or what to do, I would be eternally graful. She has been in and out of residential treatment and juvenile justice placements for the past 2 years. She is currently in placement and due to be released the first week of February. We have four other children in the home (one biological and three adopted). She needs a home that either doesn't have any other children or maybe only one other child. She has been diagnosed with RAD, ODD,PTSD and depression. She can be sweet and loving at times and is very athletic. She loves to play softball and football. But other times, she is defiant, unruly and violent. She has punched holes in our walls, ran away, curses, screams, been in fights at school, and physically assaulted her sisters and me (which she is currently on Juvenile probation for). Since being in her current placement, she has been in multiple fights, ran away and claims to have joined a gang. Our home has been peachful and violence free since she left a little over a year ago and now that her return is quickly approaching the fear and stress is building for the entire family. We have tried multiple counselors, in-home counseling, psychologist and psychiatrist, as well as various combinations of medications. We just don't know how else to protect our other children and everywhere we go for help, we get the same response There is nothing they can do. Everyone is concerned with her well being but no one is concerned about the safety of our other children. I apologize about the long post, but if anyone has any information or advice, please respond or email me directly at [email redacted] [name redacted] :)
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",4281,Need placement for/ infor on disruption in Alabama,1/19/2012 14:44,226,14,2,,Physical,Yes 221,Adoptive parent,"Dear All,
We are considering rehoming for a child adopted from Ethiopia. Her behavioural issues are extreme. Our adoption agency is not going to help. Does anybody know what we can do?
Thank you.
[name redacted]
",4332,Considering Rehoming,1/28/2012 5:23,227,7,2,Yes,,Yes 222,,"I have posted before, but hoping some new folks came to the list, I have a 14+ boy that needs a home, presently he is in OH, needs a non-racially mixed home (sorry, but, sadly, he is racist), and a home that he may be the youngest, or possibly 'only' child.
12 yr. old girl with severe RAD
We are not a disruption child placing agency, but we can assist those in Florida.
Drop me a note if you want more information,
[name redacted] Director/[organization redacted]
",4336,available children,1/28/2012 7:17,228,12,2,,,Yes 223,Adoptive parent,"I am new to this board and am reaching out as I am having some trouble finding resources for therapeutic respite and/ or rehoming for our 10 yr old daughter. We are willing to travel outside of our state if necessary and we are open to all kinds of families (single, LGBT, non-religious) as long as the family/person has experience with RAD. We are considering rehoming if this will be in the best interest of our daughter- our best case scenario would be a respite situation with a family that is looking to adopt from disruption.
I am unsure of how this works and perhaps those of you who have more experience could correct or guide me. Is it the norm that a child lives with the new family for a trial period before a permanent decision is made ? (which is my hope) or is a disruption/rehoming scenario always agreed upon before placement?
I should mention that our daughter is HIV positive, although this does not affect her day to day life, nor our family's. Due to the stigma attached to this disease I would prefer to answer specific questions about our daughter off-list to protect her privacy. Any general questions or comments about my post can be answered here on the group.
Thanks so much to anyone who can help with insights or information.
",4352,Respite with possibility of rehoming,2/1/2012 11:09,229,10,2,Yes,,Yes 224,Adoptive parent,"Hi everyone, We are brand new to this board and in need of advice quick!! Our 16 year old daughter (adopted from Ukraine in June 2011) is adamant that she wants a new family immediately...a new family is the only way. She says any family, ANY!
Of course, we all know that she is not being too realistic. How can she? She's never had a family before...and quite honestly, her perception of what it was going to be is not even close to reality. To make things worse her sister walked out on her and her brother 7 weeks after we got home. She's with another family and still struggling alot. We offered to seek another home for the three of them and she refused saying she does not want to live with any of the others. She is most often determined that she is returning to Ukraine in a few months when she is 18. We feel for her younger sister, who was traded in for a new sister and it hurts. ALOT! And there was much distrust planted before the first girl left so she has to overcome that. It is too much. We've sought counseling for her and she will not cooperate. Counseling only works when the counseled owns that they have a problem and desires resolution to it. She does not do either one and the counselor says she has to want it to continue.
Another issue is that these children were in an incredibly wonderful orphanage in Ukraine. So wonderful it is not at all representative of the reality of the country. So, they lived in utopian Ukraine and have no idea what life is like for orphans and former orphans outside that gate where there are no jobs and life on a prostitution line is the only hope for anything to eat. One of our children (we adopted 4 at the same time, these 3 bio siblings and one unrelated 15 year old boy who has done well and is happy) sees it clearly and has processed through it but the others do not. The orphanage workers say the same, that they were so good to them there that they have no idea. So, they dream of a Ukraine and life that does not exist.
So, Saturday morning she blew up and walked out. She is adamant she wants a new family, nothing else will do. Her brother loves it here and said initially he's staying but now he says he's going with her. He's pure joy and loves his new life and family. These three children have all struggled alot with the language, mostly because the girls have made it a test of loyalty and dug their heels in refusing to move forward with English and their new life. Sigh...it is hard. We know. We spent 95 days in Ukraine and now we've listened to Russian incessantly for the 7+ months since we got home. We have language software for them, and teaching books, and we now have proof that if you don't want to, you can not learn something!! :)
My question...a new family for this 16 year old girl. She will consider nothing else. Any ideas? Any takers? :) She is a fiery, hot tempered young lady who loves to work. She can be a joy and has a beautiful smile. She can be the nastiest you've ever seen. She's in pain. She's making sure the rest of us are too. She will not consider any further counseling or changing her attitude and insists that a NEW family is it. We learned that child protective services is out until Monday unless there is a major crisis and then you take them to the local children's hospital and they pick them up, we were not in that situation so talked her into waiting until tomorrow morning but she is determined she's leaving then. We want her to be cared for and not placed in a position where she could be abused. We are serious about your experiences, those of you who have walked this path. We are not putting her out but she's putting herself out. What now? Do you know of anything else that might be an option? Experiences, cautions, strategies...we need them all!!
We would cherish your prayers for wisdom as we discern God's will for our daughter and family. Thank you!!

",4376,Daughter is Adamant she wants a new family,2/5/2012 17:39,230,16,2,Yes,, 225,Adoptive parent,"Hi,
I am seeking information and guidance on what to do in this situation. We have adopted 4 boys and the oldest boy (10) is more than we can handle and we feel that our other children are suffering due to his overwhelming behaviors and needs. We feel like we are full time guards to a 10 year old and are virtually his prisoner as we cannot ever let him out of our sight or go anywhere and have any sort of normal life. He has been in therapy for 4 years and is currently undergoing a full psychological. How do we find a family that can handle him? We would love to see him get better and stay with us but he is only getting worse and meanwhile his siblings have no life while we continue to deal with this year after year. Any advice?
Thanks
",4383,Re-homing a child from a disrupted adoption,2/8/2012 17:48,231,10,1,,, 227,Adoptive parent,"I am new to this board & adopted siblings from Haiti 4 years ago. My daughter is 8 years old & my son is 6 years. They lived in an orphanage for several years.
As a single parent I can not meet their needs & they would do best with a two parent family.
My 8 year old has a diagnosis of potential ODD & some learning disabilities & cognitive delays. She can be very loving & desperately seeks attention. She can be quite defiant & talks back. She can read very well & is on a modified school program. She is excellent with babies / younger children. She loves to swim, play hockey, ride her bike & scooter & help in the kitchen. She can be moody if she doesn't get her way & will lie. She is not violent & does not act out sexually.
My 6 year old does not function well in a school setting even in a modified program. He seems to get over stimulated in a class environment when there are distractions. He is being reassessed at this time. We did try a couple of ADHD meds & they did not make any difference. His behaviours seem more behavioural in nature. At school he has been throwing things, yelling, hitting & trying to bite. With the family he can be very loving & seems attached. He has a diagnosis of ADHD & a disruptive disorder. He can be quite manipulative & will lie even when confronted with the truth. He loves hockey, riding his scooter, skate board & bike. He is a naturally gifted athlete.
They both function best in a very structured environment. I love my children very much & it breaks my heart to admit that I can not meet their needs. I do not know if children in Canada can be adopted to the USA through a private adopton. Currently they are permanent residents to Canada & not yet citizens.
This is certainly not the outcome I wanted for my family, but I know I need to do what is best for them.
Thanks, [name redacted]
",4399,Adopting from a disruption in Canada,2/16/2012 19:12,232,8,2,Yes,,Yes 226,Adoptive parent,"I am new to this board & adopted siblings from Haiti 4 years ago. My daughter is 8 years old & my son is 6 years. They lived in an orphanage for several years.
As a single parent I can not meet their needs & they would do best with a two parent family.
My 8 year old has a diagnosis of potential ODD & some learning disabilities & cognitive delays. She can be very loving & desperately seeks attention. She can be quite defiant & talks back. She can read very well & is on a modified school program. She is excellent with babies / younger children. She loves to swim, play hockey, ride her bike & scooter & help in the kitchen. She can be moody if she doesn't get her way & will lie. She is not violent & does not act out sexually.
My 6 year old does not function well in a school setting even in a modified program. He seems to get over stimulated in a class environment when there are distractions. He is being reassessed at this time. We did try a couple of ADHD meds & they did not make any difference. His behaviours seem more behavioural in nature. At school he has been throwing things, yelling, hitting & trying to bite. With the family he can be very loving & seems attached. He has a diagnosis of ADHD & a disruptive disorder. He can be quite manipulative & will lie even when confronted with the truth. He loves hockey, riding his scooter, skate board & bike. He is a naturally gifted athlete.
They both function best in a very structured environment. I love my children very much & it breaks my heart to admit that I can not meet their needs. I do not know if children in Canada can be adopted to the USA through a private adopton. Currently they are permanent residents to Canada & not yet citizens.
This is certainly not the outcome I wanted for my family, but I know I need to do what is best for them.
Thanks, [name redacted]
",4399,Adopting from a disruption in Canada,2/16/2012 19:12,233,6,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 228,Adoptive parent,"Hi, I don't even know where to begin the process of disruption? Our family has been operating in survival mode for a year and at times I feel like I can't even think clearly any longer. Can any one post or email information to me on how to disrupt. We live in Iowa and I would imagine the process varies by state. What is the impact on our adoption agency and their relationship with the foreign country?
",4434,Disruption Directions,2/28/2012 17:32,234,12,2,Yes,, 229,Adoptive parent,"We are looking to rehome our son we adopted from Ethiopia 1 1/2 years ago. He is not attached to us as a family in any way. There is constant disobeying of basic rules in our family and we don't feel like we can trust him to tell us the truth. He has never been violent or has never had any sexual issues. He loves to spend time with friends at school, that is actually the environment he thrives on. Loves to be the center of attention, he doesn't get that at home being one of 6. He loves to play soccer and did play club until his grades started to slide. He is currently in 8th grade but doing maybe 6th grade work. He doesn't seem very motivated to do better academically, would rather socialize. He doesn't get along with his siblings at all, especially his sisters who are close in age. We feel he would do so much better in a different family. He has never shared about his life in Ethiopia. He does have a living birth mother and two biological sisters. He doesn't have much respect for women as a whole, possibly supressing anger at his mom for giving him up. He waited in an orphanage for 3 years until we came along. He does love to not only play soccer but basketball as well. He likes to ride his bike outside too. He ran cross country this year and went to state, he is a good runner without having to try very hard. Open to any size of family but would probably do best if there wasn't a sister the same age or close to his age. He likes to be in control. Please email for more details. I don't want to share to many specifics here. As a side not we had adopted twice before him with one of those an older child, so we thought we were prepared. Also thought we would Never be in this position. I guess what I didn't expect is the becoming the parent that I am right now. I don't like him very much and I know he deserves way better than that. Thanks for your help!
",4438,Looking to rehome 14 year old boy adopted from Ethiopia,2/28/2012 20:37,235,14,1,Yes,, 230,Adoptive parent,"I am brand new to this group, and am posting here because I am desperate and lack resources. I am hoping this is a place of non-judgement as I feel I have been to hell and back. Probably like many others here.
My child, who just turned 12 was adopted from Haiti almost 3 years ago. Her younger sister came at the same time she did, and after the earthquake in 2010, the youngest brother arrived. All had issues the first year home and the younger two still have minor issues but have adjusted beautifully. The oldest child never has. She cycles in her behavior. Private insurance is not covering her needs, which feel bottomless. I do not qualify for public assistance but I am working with one outside agency assigned by the court.
She is not violent or pschotic. Does not steal and has not been acting out sexually. However,she needs intense therapy either inside the home or in an outside theraputic environment. As a single mom with the two other kids (ages 10 and 8) I have to work but I am not rich by any means. I cannot fund long-term residential treatment. Her behaviors are destroying our family. I will email anyone privately with more information. She is a beautiful child, intelligent and full of promise and for three years I have been doing everything I can think of to provide her with the help she needs and have fallen short. I am devastated, but don't feel like I can go on like this. Thanks for listening.
",4475,Considering disruption for my 12 year old Haitian girl.,3/2/2012 10:13,236,12,2,Yes,, 231,Non-agency facilitator,"Hi group -
I am helping a friend look for a potential new family for their 14 year old daughter adopted from Haiti. They are hoping to find a family where she can be the only child as she needs a lot of attention. She does display some RAD symptoms.
If you are interested in more information on this child please message me.
Thank you!

",4478,14 year old girl,3/3/2012 16:48,237,14,2,Yes,,Yes 232,,"Home needed for 12 year old girl. She has significant mental health issues. Was adopted from US foster care, so has Medicaid. She likes to learn, loves to read and is generally friendly. Open to all families. Prefer homestudy ready. Would also prefer no close in age (to this child) siblings in the family. Further, detailed information available to interested families. Please contact: [email redacted]

",4491,Home needed for 12 year old girl,3/12/2012 12:42,238,12,2,No,,Yes 233,Adoptive parent,"Searching to re-home beautiful 16 year old, Ghanaian-American girl. Her's is really a story of rescue, since the family that originally adopted her contacted us days before her exit interview and asked us to take over their adoption. We have 4 other children, 2 adopted from Ghana, but they are all much younger. She is in need of a family with more time and experience in dealing with her great emotional needs. For more information please contact us privately.

",4492,Searching to re-home beautiful 16 year old girl,3/12/2012 21:22,239,16,2,Yes,, 234,,We are searching for a family experienced in attachment issues to adopt a beautiful boy from Ethiopia. He has been in the States for 4 years and has not yet met his forever family. We are happy to share additional information to those interested.
,4493,Looking for a loving home for a 10 year old boy from Ethiopia,3/13/2012 5:50,240,10,1,Yes,,Yes 235,,"Hello,
I am parenting an 8 yo girl in the US, she is a respite child in desperate need of a new family. She is RAD. Otherwise, she is healthy as far as I know. She is beautiful and from Liberia. She has been in the US about 5.5 years. She should ideally be in a home where she is the youngest.
Please email me at [email redacted] if you are interested in either respite or adoption.
Thanks so much!! [name redacted]



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",4498,AHtPC 8 yo girl in US,3/18/2012 16:37,241,8,2,Yes,,Yes 236,,Click the link...
[website redacted]

,4501,5 year old Ethiopian boy listed on [organization redacted],3/21/2012 7:31,242,5,1,Yes,, 237,Adoptive parent," We are new to this group and are looking for a forever home for our 12 year old son adopted from Russia.
Our family is no longer able to meet the needs of our son. He is close in age to our biological son and has alway been competitive towards him and now has become aggressive towards him. He would do well being the youngest child and also does well with young children. We have not noticed any sexual behavior.
He is RAD diagnosed with ADHD, auditory processing, and possible cognitive delays. He is charming, well mannered, does well in public. He can be manipulative and lie even when confronted with the truth. He does well at school and in a structured environment, is in a normal program at school without many difficulties. He enjoys reading and is above grade level along with riding his bike, golf, tennis basketball.
Please contact us for more information. Sent from my iPad ",4506,Looking for a forever home for our son,3/25/2012 7:04,243,12,1,Yes,,Yes 238,Adoptive parent,"Hello. We are in the unfortunate position of trying to find a new home for our daughter who is 9, almost 10 years old. She has possible FAE, RAD, and PTSD. She is Caucasian/Hispanic and was born in the USA.
Please email us at [email redacted]
Thank you.
",4507,Rehoming situation,3/26/2012 6:17,244,9,2,No,,Yes 239,Non-agency facilitator,"Family seeking new home for disruption with 13 year old girl, adopted from Ukraine. She is bright, lively, and intelligent and has great potential. She enjoys music, reading, and activities, is a fast learner. She is social and communicative and makes friends quickly. She needs a family with different dynamics and more experience in dealing with emotional needs as she had a difficult upbringing in her country prior to her adoption. More information available in response to this posting.
",4518,Looking for a new home for 13 year old girl,4/3/2012 10:26,245,13,2,Yes,, 241,Adoptive parent,"We have had our son for 6 years, but he has been unable to attach to our family. He was one of two bio children adopted from foster care. Since the older brother has left our home, he continues to escalate, and would be great in a family with no other children. This is the single most difficult decision we have had to make, but readoption seems to be much more humane than readjudicating him back into foster care system.
",4537,Seeking home for our 15 year old domestically adopted son.,4/8/2012 13:56,246,15,1,No,,Yes 242,Non-agency facilitator,"I know of a 16 yr old boy here in MI (with RAD) whose family is looking for a new home for him. If you'd like the contact information, please email me off list.
Thanks! [name redacted]
-- Wife to [name redacted] Momma to: [name redacted] (12), [name redacted] (11), [name redacted] (10), [name redacted] (10), [name redacted] (9), [name redacted] (9), [name redacted](7), [name redacted] (6), [name redacted] (4), [name redacted] (3), [name redacted] (10 months), and [name redacted] (in heaven) .... blessed over and over from Korea, Liberia, China, and the United States
2 Cor 5:13-14a (NLT) If it seems that we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Whatever we do, it is because Christ's love controls us
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",4587,16 year old boy,4/12/2012 7:44,247,16,1,,,Yes 243,Non-agency facilitator,"I have a friend that is wanting to disrupte their adoption.
If you are wanting more info please e-mail me at
[email redacted]
",4610,Family friend looking for a new family for their child,4/15/2012 15:10,248,,,,, 244,Adoptive parent,"We are a family in search of rehoming our son. This is a very difficult decision but one that we must make for our son and for our other children. This is not something we have taken lightly and we have been working with multiple therapists who specialize in attachment and trauma.
In consulting with the therapists, they believe that his best chance is to be in a male single parent/single child home. Or a male partner household also as a single child. We are open to other possibilities but will not waiver on the fact that he must be an only child in the home.
Those considering must understand that he has extensive trauma and some significant special needs.
I can say that in the right home, with 100% focus/love/attention on him, he will have a chance at a beautiful life.
",4635,Looking for a family,4/22/2012 8:49,249,5,1,Yes,,Yes 245,Adoptive parent,"Hi, my name is [name redacted]. We have 4 children - 3 children were adopted from overseas: [name redacted] - adopted at age 2.5 from Kazakstan, [name redacted] - adopted at age 5 from Ukraine, [name redacted] - adopted from Ukraine at age 10. Our bio son is 16 years old. After 5 very stressful years - we have come to the decision that it would be better for [name redacted] and for us to disrupt. [name redacted] was taken away from an abusive older Mom and since the day we adopted her - she has transferred her hatred towards me. We are in counseling, we are on meds - strangly - at school or around other females - she is sooo sweet. I am an older Mom - and every second word out of her mouth is: you are just like my Mom. It pains me, because I love and am dearly loved as a Mom. [name redacted] cannot bond with me - despite hundreds of efforts. She lashes out at me whenever she can, she steals from me (noone else) - On the positive side, [name redacted] (birthdate [birth month and day redacted]-97) is a beautiful girl with normal intelligence. She attends Middle School (will be in 8th grade next year), has a great singing voice (Chorus) - loves animals, is well liked by teachers and peers - it is a puzzle to me. This is and has affected our family over the past 5 years - and we all feel that it is in the best interest of [name redacted] and in our interest - to find her a family in which she can be as happy as she desires to be. Please contact me if you want to know more about [name redacted]. We live in Virginia.
",4637,New member - intro,4/21/2012 9:25,250,15,2,Yes,Physical, 246,Adoptive parent,"We found a great family to adopt our son, but they are having difficulties due to the state they live in. There is a good chance it will not work out with them, and we need to find a suitable alternate family for him ASAP. We have their blessing to look for a family.
He is 6.5 and has been home 17 months from Ukraine. While we knew about his spina bifida (he can walk fine but is incontinent- he caths himself), his FAS, drug exposure, and schizophrenic birth mom were not disclosed to us. He also has RAD and is especially harsh on me, the mother. He is wonderful with anyone outside the family, is an adorable little boy, and is great with animals. No small children in the house because he has been aggressive with our 2 year-old disabled daughter. We know he will be fine outside our family because his resentment from taking him away from the orphanage has always been transferred onto us (me especially) and no one else. Every where we go, people comment on how sweet and cute he is. He is on prozac for OCD behaviors like pulling out his hair and picking his fingers.
We are looking to move very quickly on this because our family has been on an emotional roller coaster and needs to start healing. Our daughter especially has been affected by his screaming and tantrums.
Thank you for your respect and understanding. Please e-mail for more information! [email redacted]. We are in NC.
",4659,Looking for a family for our son,4/25/2012 10:33,251,6,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 247,Adoptive parent,"I am new to this board because we are finally at a point that we feel we might not be the best family for our daughter. We adopted 3 children from Ethiopia in 2008 and two (sibling pair) have RAD. Their issues would fall in the mild to moderate point along the continuum. Because of the make-up of our family (4 kids ages 9-11), we feel we are not able to give her what she needs to heal. She is the oldest of our four kids, and 3.5 years older than we were told she was at the time of referral. We feel that perhaps her younger brother may have a chance to heal without her in the home. She is a physically small 11 year old, not aggressive or sexually acting out in any way. She has anxiety issues recently, ADHD and can be quite controlling. I can share more details privately. She would likely do very well with a family with older kids (teenagers). If anyone is interested in helping our family and our daughter, please contact me. ~[name redacted]
",4668,Looking for long term respite or possible re-homing of 11 y.o. daughter,4/29/2012 17:06,252,11,2,Yes,,Yes 248,Adoptive parent," We have adopted an Ethiopian girl in 2009. She is now approximately 14 years old (legally: 11 yo) The adoption is final in Ethiopia (non-Hague country). We never finalized the adoption in New York State (where we live). We are unable to keep our daughter. Does anyone know if this would be an adoption disruption or dissolution? What is the procedure? Do we have to go through courts, family counseling etc., or is it just a matter of signing a simple paper to give up our parental rights and duties to another family who would adopt her? Thanks! [name redacted]  
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",4680,Legal question about adoption disruption-New York State,5/4/2012 12:11,253,11,2,Yes,, 249,,"[organization redacted] ([website redacted]) is seeking a family to re-adopt [name redacted] ( estimated age is 12) and was originally adopted from Asia in 2008. He is deaf and currently in the Northwest US. He signs using ASL. Fees are considered minimal for this re-adoption and include lawyer fees, travel to and from the Northwest, a medical exam, and post placement reports. Please do not post his photo on the Internet. There is no obligation or fee to receive his file. All families will be seriously considered including same sex couples, married couples, heterosexual couples, single males or females and gay or heterosexual singles. [name redacted] is relatively athletic and likes to swim, ride a bike, skate board and enjoy activities outside. He loves peanut butter sandwiches and would like them every day for lunch. He is a big Spiderman fan. He is independent in all his personal self-care and does not need to be reminded or prompted. [name redacted] is well liked by his peers and staff report that overall his interactions are positive and pleasant with those his age. He is respectful to adults and polite with the staff.
He was happy to see his adoptive family again and enjoyed their embraces. He hasn't lived with them for two years. Recently he has been in a facility for psychiatric support and evaluation and before that he was at a boarding school for the deaf. [name redacted] is recovering wonderfully from some self-harming behaviors like hair pulling and is currently on medication that is appropriate. HIs doctors are so pleased with his progress. His first adoptive parents don't feel able to parent him and have no experience with PTSD.
Sadly, [name redacted] has had a traumatic early childhood being abandoned at a train station and then it appears he was abused by his foster mother where he lived in Asia before he was adopted. He arrived in the US as an extremely frightened child but soon bravely disclosed the abuse through picture drawing to his adoptive parents. He has since learned appropriate behavior and learned interpersonal boundary issues. He has improved greatly and is now evaluated as very ready and eager to integrate into a new family. We want him to get the attention he deserves and are seeking a family with only older children in the home.
There is just something special about this endearing bright eyed boy that has been through so much in his life. When I met him shortly after he was adopted he was learning his first signs. He was so enthusiastic and so excited to demonstrate his signing with me. He instantly melted my heart. One of the staff at his present facility really wanted to adopt him but her family didn't qualify to adopt.
We are looking for a family fluent in ASL and deaf culture. We need a family who has a home study or can begin one soon. A family that will be able to provide a supportive enviroment and continue his progress with a competent therapist will be best. A family with understanding of child hood abuse and PTSD will be helpful. A family will be responsible for any travel fees, attorney fees (to finalize re-adoption) and post-placement reporting fees associated with the adoption. Married couples and singles may apply. Please contact [name redacted] at [email redacted] for more information. [organization redacted] ([website redacted]) is a non-profit adoption agency.

",4704,"[name redacted] endearing, deaf, spider man fan Asian needs re-adoption minimal fees",5/15/2012 15:16,254,12,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 250,Adoptive parent,"Much time and effort and care has brought us to the decision that our adopted child needs a new forever family. Our daughter was adopted in 2009 from Ethiopia at age 10. She is an A student, well liked at school, loves to read, gentle and loving with pets. She loves swimming, biking, and crochet/crafting. She has no violent behaviors, her self care is appropriate.
We are open to considering families who have adopted children before. Must be willing to parent this child as a very young girl as her heart is tender and she needs plenty of guidance and love. Her behavior will be discussed with a family that feels that this is an age they could parent and welcome into their home. Would be great if there are other children of Ethiopia already in the home as well.
thank you for reading
[name redacted]
",4706,Where to start with disruption,5/16/2012 14:24,255,10,2,Yes,, 251,Adoptive parent,"Hi,
Our story is a little different. Our son has limb differences. But other than that, he is a great and happy kid. The problem is me. I have had serious health issues since adopting him 7 months ago and hard as it is have decided it is too much for me. I don't know where to start. Finances are a big issue also, as we would need someone willing to pay the attorney costs. Some are saying we don't need an agency, but then how do we find and screen a qualified family.
Any input?
[name redacted]
",4755,How to start a disruption,5/29/2012 13:01,256,,1,,,Yes 252,Non-agency facilitator,"4 year old boy in Michigan needs Michigan family. Drug Exposure at birth, no psych diagnoses, but family reports short fuse and he will hit other kids. Did anyone ever hear from [name redacted] who was hoping to rehome a child with limb differences? [name redacted]
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",4786,Michigan family,5/31/2012 12:20,257,4,1,,, 253,Non-agency facilitator,"This is a private matter if you wish to inquire you must email me privately. This is a 13 yr old young lady who needs a very very special family preferably with no other children her age especially girls. Too much competition. The family chosen must have understanding of the situation and be able to devote much time in building a parent role as in trust, security, rules and boundaries and then the love will come. I can explain thru conversation. I am only the middle person trying to help a family. I currently am doing respite for this child. She is precious and has many wonderful qualities, non violent, but needs much that was missed in her younger years. Acceptance is what she seeks, I am not confident that RAD is the factor but certainly there are always traits. Single parent/mom would be good as well.
Thank You and the adoptive family is asking for help in a desperate way before school resumes. If you live in Texas or close by this would also be wonderful. There is a sibling as well she is 10 but at this point the best path I've seen is that perhaps the children remain close but in separate homes. I can explain further upon communications.
Private emails only and you can provide to me your phone number.

[name redacted] [email redacted]


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",4814,13 yr old,6/5/2012 6:31,258,13,2,,, 255,,"Hi [name redacted] Is the group not working? I was approved and mow I am unable to get on or locate it. I have a 2 children that need a home by the end of summer. The respite family can't keep them Thanks [name redacted]",4817,Way Stations of Love,6/8/2012 3:04,259,13,2,Yes,, 254,,"Hi [name redacted] Is the group not working? I was approved and mow I am unable to get on or locate it. I have a 2 children that need a home by the end of summer. The respite family can't keep them Thanks [name redacted]",4817,Way Stations of Love,6/8/2012 3:04,260,10,2,Yes,, 256,Adoptive parent," Hello Everyone!! My husband and I adopted a sibling group of 4 from Social Services/Foster Care in 2005. The oldest, [initial redacted], was 9 at the time (she is now 16). When we first adopted her, she was very helpful with chores, around the house and with the other kids. In her birth home she was responsible for taking care of child #3 and helping with #4. In the Foster Home (only 1 placement in 3 years) she was responsible for helping to care for all children and almost fully responsible for a newborn baby, which included in the middle of the night. In her birth home, she was physically abused, neglected and possibly sexually abused. There were accusations, but no charges.  Her birth mother was (is) a drug addict and a prostitute. [initial redacted] had a negative tox screen at birth, although Birth Mom denies using any drugs while being pregnant. Birth Mom had Birth Dad deported out of the country to Mexico. She is half Mexican, quarter Tai and quarter Caucasian. She has PVC a minor heart condition, where she needs to avoid caffeine and chocolate. When we first took in the kids, we completed Adoption Counseling, Family Counseling, Sibling Counseling and Transition Counseling, which included learning her role as a daughter and sister. She had a lot of struggles with now having a Mom and Dad who set rules. However, it was manageable. When she hit puberty things began to change.  She would have fits of rage, which included breaking valuable and sentimental things, which could not be replaced. She would have these emotional outbursts.  We originally thought she was Bi-polar, like her brother, but she was diagnosed with OCD. She then began to steal.....money, jewelry, clothes or anything that she could steal from school, doctor offices or family members. Nobody would press charges, because they all thought they were helping her and us. She refused to obey any house rules, do any chores, take showers or take care of herself, she would constantly lie, run away (was brought back by the Police), make up complete false stories and physically punched me once. She would hoard food and bloody/used maxi-pads. She would tell us that she wanted to be removed from our house to move on to a better family.  The Therapist believe she was sexually abused by one or more of birth Mom's friend, although she has no memory of it. When she first came to us, she suffered from Night Terrors, where it looked like she was being held down on the bed by her hands, while she lied on her back and screened (horrible). She would become fixated on a certain boy, friend or idea that she had in her mind. Next came the self picking. She started with appx. 12 holes in her legs that she had picked with her nails. They looked like mosquito bites, so nobody bothered her about it. The picking got worse. Those 12 holes grew into the hundreds. They began to move from her lower legs to her entire leg, scalp and occasional arms. She was not allowed to have long finger nails, so she would use pens, pencils or wait for them to scab over and then shave them off. She was not allowed to have a razor, she she would use a paper towel, shirt or anything else she could find. She also started pulling out her hair on her arms, which later included her head. She was then diagnosed with trillotichomania, depression, impulse control disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. She was hospitalized in Crisis a few times for being a danger to herself and to her siblings. She tried to choke her brother and I had to physically break them up because he was turning blue. He suffered a head and neck injury. She would physically attack the other kids. Child #3 has a neurological condition and is currently awaiting brain surgery. She would throw things at her head to make her have emergency brain surgery. She would attack child #4, just because she was the oldest and was bigger. During all of this, I became pregnant (high risk - miracle child) and gave birth to child #5. At first, she was very happy, but that quickly faded away (as you could imagine). While the baby was in the pack and play, she attempted to smoother her, by lying and putting her body on top of the baby. My mother had to step between the two and pull her off. As time went on, she only got worse. We were not allowed to be alone with her for fear of false accusations or that she may hurt someone and we would need a witness. We lived by the Rule of 3 - [initial redacted], An Adult and a witness. We had an in-home counselors, in-home behavioral assistant, mentor, psychiatrist and a psychologist, but it did not help.  She would maintain herself and manipulate them to see that she was a great kid, so that they would stop focusing on her. She would also just sit in a session for an hour and not say a single word. She would stare at her feet or cry, so that the therapist would focus on what was making her upset. Nobody could penetrate the layers. She began getting up during the night and wonder the house. She would steal things, move things, eat or who knows what else. She gain a lot of weight. The pediatrician told me to chain my refrigerator and lock away all the food because she could not stop eating, which I could not do, due to state laws and regulations. She told him that she wanted to get pregnant and have a baby. He asked her if she could be pregnant and she told him, You never know.  We had her tested and she was not pregnant. She was never allowed to be left alone and she told us that she could of had sex in the bathroom at school. We had an organization involved with her to try and help us. They wanted to pay someone to stay awake in our house and watch her while we all slept.  My other kids had very strong objections to that.  We would sleep with the baby and two large dogs, behind a locked door. She had an alarm on her room, so we would know when she would get out. We would also get up at night to check on her. She threatened to kill us, the baby, the dogs and the other kids. All knives were removed off the counters and only a few were kept in a locked draw. It became so unmanageable that she was placed in a Specialized Bed at a Treatment Facility, which we were told could deal with adopted children, like her......they lied!!! At this place, they assured us that they would work on her trauma, uncover the past and rebuild her to a positive and healthy person. At the same time, they would work with us and rebuild the family, so that she could return home. While there, she had gotten close to a Therapist, who believed every word that [initial redacted] fed her. She was able to manipulate the point system and show them how wonderful she was and that their program was amazing!!! They then started to look at us to see why we had caused this great girl to behave so badly. While she was there, she pulled out all of her eyebrow hair and all of her bangs. They could call me up and tell me how great her grades were (always have been straight As), so she couldn't possibly have so many issues. I would need to remind them that she dx was OCD and that was part of her issue. While there, she accused me of choking her on a specific date. The same date she had choked her brother - thank God!!! We had all the paperwork and bills to prove that she choked him and he was injured. We were investigated but charges were dropped because she told them that she lied to get back at me and ruin my career (I work in a school system with kids). While there, she was allowed to have a Facebook page (because she was soooo good). She would have her friends threatened my son, who attended the same school as her. We contact the management, who denied that it was her on there (even though she had a picture). We contacted Facebook, who refused to shut her down. The Police could also not help!! Around the same time, she completely stopped talking to my husband. He was her biggest advocate and always felt that we could help her. The Treatment Center saw this as a break through in her therapy and worked harder to have her complete their program. We would go down to visit her and she would tell us how she  was playing them and their system just to come home. We would request that our visits would be supervised, but they would come and take her side. We started family therapy (again) to work out old and new issues. She was allowed to avoid any topic and did not have to answer anything if the topic became to sensitive or painful to deal with. Each time, she would cry five minutes into therapy, she would ask to leave the room, the therapist would leave after her to console her and then it would be over because she was too upset to return. She was given phone privileges to call us. She would call us, several times and hang up if we did not answer in time and then would call our cell phones.  She could call, yell at us, yell at the kids or make up stories. The staff did nothing to stop this. we eventually blocked her from calling. She would write hurtful letters to us and the kids. We would show them as proof and we were told that she was expressing herself. When one of the kids would get mad, yell or call her a name (the kids) we would be verbally reprimanded. Finally, it was time for her to graduate and be transferred somewhere else. Due to her excelling in this program, she was put into a step down program - Therapeutic Foster Home. The Home was an African American family with a Mom, Dad and four other adopted children (sibling group) that was placed with this family. They are extremely religious and are involved with a lot of church activities, which has been a great assest. When she was moved, we asked for a new Case Manager, which we were given. The new Program also gave us a second Case Manager. Both of these people understood our case, adopted children, all of the dx that she has and the struggles that we had been dealing with. Since she and her siblings are adopted, we have to complete a yearly update, which means that her home state became involved. We were told, if we take her back, they will have all of other children removed for endangering them. We have looked into Military School, Boarding Schools, [organization redacted], Giving her back to her home state and our state (we would have to pay $3000 - $4000/month), different organizations, Job Corp, Religious Organizations and having her placed witho our other family members, but nobody wanted to take her. The workers finally understood and agreed with us and the plan was for to live with this family for as long as possible and then to discharge her to independent living because she cannot return home. We would still be legally her parents to make sure she would be cared for and received what she needed. While in this home, she accused this family's dog of attacking her (no real injuries just a scrap) and they had to put down the dog (Thankfully the family and vet lied and the dog is alive and well, but living with someone else); she has hit the six year old in the face with a dog chain; got into a bunch of verbal issues, but nothing major. She has made some great progress with this family.  Recently, both of our workers have changed.  The one was replaced with someone who recently graduate college and seems to only have book knowledge. The other worker was replaced with someone who is older and has three bio children and 1 adopted child.  She can not understand how things like this could happen with adopted children. They have both decided that it is time for [initial redacted] to return home to us!!! At this point, she refuses to talk to my husband, her brother wants nothing to do with her, the girls will talk to her from time to time and the baby has no idea who she is. As of Sept. she has not lived with us for 3 years. These workers are now telling us that if we do not take her home we are abandon her and they will contact DYFS and have our other children taken away. Recently, we were forced to have a sibling visit. According to these workers, we are in violation of the law if we do not allow our children to have contact. As we explained, they talk on the phone regularly and they chose not to see her. I took them, except the brother, to see her.  She told me that she wants to return home because she wants to be a normal kid. She has been accepted in a vocational program for next school year. At this time, we are looking for a family to take her in possibly adopt her. She is currently 16 1/2 and does receive a subsidy of $583 per month. She is currently on Zoloft, but they want to decrease it because she is doing well. The Foster Family receives an enormous amount of money ($1770) per month for her slot in their home and does not have a desire to adopt her. The new family should allow contact between her siblings, as it would be nice for them to always have that connection. If you are interested in this child, please let me know. Thank you for your time!!!! Regards, [name redacted]
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",4819,Family Needed for 16 year old girl from NJ,6/8/2012 7:19,261,16,2,No,Both,Yes 257,,"We are looking for a new home for a little girl that was adopted internationaly.
She needs to be in a home where there are no specisl needs kids.
if you would like more info please e-mail me privately.
If you could please tell me a little about your family and if you are home study ready.
Thank you
",4832,10 year needing rehoming,6/10/2012 8:32,262,10,2,Yes,, 258,Adoptive parent,"We have 7 kids, 3 adopted from Ethiopia 4 years ago. The oldest we adopted, now 12 has multiple diagnosis including RAD, low IQ, auditory processing disorder an a few other learning issues. He is in residential right now because some of his behaviors have become unsafe and this was the best place at this time. We are seriously thinking that he will not be able to come back home, he is right in the middle I the 7. We are trying to find out what are options are, and looking for a more suitable family for him. We do feel he would probably do better as the only child or the youngest by a few years, where he could get much more attention to his needs. He will always need to have monitoring and extra attention. Thanks for lettin us join and looking forward to everyones knowledge here and seeing what options we have. Blessings [name redacted]
",4835,New to group,6/13/2012 13:08,263,12,1,Yes,,Yes 259,Adoptive parent,"I mention that she's been homeschooled and that she's a Christian because her beliefs are very important to her, and she needs continuity so a homeschool (or VERY involved family who utilizes a small Christian school etc) would help her not to experience too much change.
She is very small for her age, somewhat immature (her interests are more like those of an 8 or 9 year old girl--she loves crafts and animals etc), she's behind in her schooling but mainly that's because of her victim mentality (school work is too hard, boo hoo hoo) but she's very sweet and quiet and obedient. She was drug exposed, did experience abuse and neglect as a toddler and instability while in the limbo of who was going to raise her. When she's acting out she has issues with lying, stealing, hoarding food and jealousy (and destructiveness) about younger children ------ but when the environment is correct she's done well, and she's never been violent or thrown tantrums other than her quiet little poor-me-whining episodes. She's not a hard child to live with, for adults. But her reaction to and behavior with small children is another matter. Problem is, we cannot erase the babies and younger children from the family so that she'll be okay again... We love her and want to talk to families who share her faith and could help her learn how to put what she believes in her head into her heart and actions, and who could offer her a home to continue growing and healing in---one that has no younger children.
thanks please email me offlist if you want more information [email redacted] and no, we aren't in Arizona any longer.
",4836,""better fit" needed for small 13 year old, homeschooled Christian girl",6/13/2012 14:08,264,13,2,,Physical, 260,Adoptive parent,"I am looking for a new family or a group home for my 16 year old adopted son. I adopted him and his younger sister from Poland in December, 2007. Unfortunately, I am unable to help him. He needs a strong male figure and a very structured home. I am a single woman. He doesn't acknowledge any house rules, or any authority. He does what he wants and when he wants. He comes and goes as he pleases. When I try to object, he tells me to shut up and leave because he will decide about his life. I have no control over him and the consequences to his actions that I apply have no effect on him and his actions. Losing privileges has no effect because he then goes to his friends' houses and uses their games, phones, tv, etc. Grounding him has never been possible since he leaves anyway. He is a compulsive liar and will tell very elaborate stories. He brags to his friends that he beats me up, which has not happened, or at least not yet. He steals. No charges were filed for at least two instances; the third time, when he broke into a neighbor's house, we had to go to court. The judge gave me fines to pay and did nothing to my son. That made my son feel invincible and the situation at home deteriorated further. I have tried a psychologist for a year for him, an Adoption Preservation program at home for 6 months, SASS program at home for 3 months with no results. I asked school, his pediatrician, a psychiatrist, and police for help. I was advised to send him to either a military school or a group home. He would have to agree to go to a military school, but he won't, so school is not an option. My son grew up in a home with his abusive alcoholic mother. He also witnessed his oldest brother occasionally beating up their mother, tying her down and leaving her to sober up. He was removed from home at 8, was placed in a foster home (with an abusive biological son) for a year, returned home for six months, removed from home again to another foster home for a few months, and then placed in a small orphanage for two and a half years where I found him. He most likely has FAS, RAD and PTST. I say most likely because even though a number of specialists talked about it, none gave me a diagnosis on paper. He has an IAP at school for LD. He goes to school without any problems. He just finished his first year of high school. He failed some classes his first semester there but passed all the second semester. He has special ed academic classes, but he really shines in technology classes. He refuses to do any homework after school, so he was signed up for a resource class where he has to do at least some of his homework. Depending on his mood, he does or refuses to do classwork. He was suspended from school twice, once for an organized fight after school and the other for picking a fight with another student. I strongly believe that if we keep the status quo, things will spiral down very quickly. In order to help my son, he needs to either have a strong male in his life that he will follow, or a place where everyone is made to follow the rules. If he doesn't learn to recognize rules and authority, he is set for a very rough life. Can anyone give me a hint where/how to look for a group home?
",4837,looking for a new home for a 16 year old boy,6/15/2012 14:11,265,16,1,Yes,Physical,Yes 261,Non-agency facilitator,"Typical RAD, needs new family Contact me for more info.
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",4838,12 year old boy,6/19/2012 15:37,266,12,1,,,Yes 263,,"Hi - I received info. about some children needing to be re-homed. If you want any further info., please contact the agency directly. I have never worked with this agency, just passing the info. on in hopes of helping these children find their forever families. Blessing!
[initial redacted] and [initial redacted]: These boys are twins, five and a half years old, adopted from Moldova in 2006. They are currently in a home with five other siblings, and the environment is not conducive to meeting their needs. They are two adorable little boys and are basically physically healthy (one of them has Strabismus, and may need surgery on his left eye later in life). They have both been diagnosed with Disruptive Disorder at this point. Looking for a smaller family, where they can receive the individual attention they need to thrive.
[initial redacted]: Just turned 13. He was adopted from Brazil in 2004. A sweet boy, whose adoptive family is coming through a difficult time, and he has been placed in private foster care for the past several months. He gets along well with father figures, so preferably looking for a family with a strong father figure involved. He also would probably thrive in a smaller family, with no more than 2-3 other children. He needs to be in a home where he can be loved and appreciated. He is great at doing his chores and helping out around the house.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. He is almost 13 and was adopted from Russia in 1998, when he was seven months old. Has some attachment issues. I can get you more information next week, after I have spoke with his counselors.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. Just turned 7, adopted from Russia when he was eight months old. He has gone through some traumatic circumstances since his adoption. Has attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, and also possible OCD. We will have more information on him next week, after the assessment is completed.
If you would like anymore information on any of these great little kiddos, please let me know! As I stated earlier, please feel free to pass this information along if you know someone else that might be interested!
Thanks!
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
[organization name redacted]
[address redacted]
[address redacted]
[email address redacted]
Work: [phone number redacted]
Cell: [phone number redacted]


",1274,Available children,3/3/2010 14:54,267,5,1,Yes,,Yes 262,,"Hi - I received info. about some children needing to be re-homed. If you want any further info., please contact the agency directly. I have never worked with this agency, just passing the info. on in hopes of helping these children find their forever families. Blessing!
[initial redacted] and [initial redacted]: These boys are twins, five and a half years old, adopted from Moldova in 2006. They are currently in a home with five other siblings, and the environment is not conducive to meeting their needs. They are two adorable little boys and are basically physically healthy (one of them has Strabismus, and may need surgery on his left eye later in life). They have both been diagnosed with Disruptive Disorder at this point. Looking for a smaller family, where they can receive the individual attention they need to thrive.
[initial redacted]: Just turned 13. He was adopted from Brazil in 2004. A sweet boy, whose adoptive family is coming through a difficult time, and he has been placed in private foster care for the past several months. He gets along well with father figures, so preferably looking for a family with a strong father figure involved. He also would probably thrive in a smaller family, with no more than 2-3 other children. He needs to be in a home where he can be loved and appreciated. He is great at doing his chores and helping out around the house.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. He is almost 13 and was adopted from Russia in 1998, when he was seven months old. Has some attachment issues. I can get you more information next week, after I have spoke with his counselors.
[initial redacted]: Still in the assessment phase. Just turned 7, adopted from Russia when he was eight months old. He has gone through some traumatic circumstances since his adoption. Has attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, and also possible OCD. We will have more information on him next week, after the assessment is completed.
If you would like anymore information on any of these great little kiddos, please let me know! As I stated earlier, please feel free to pass this information along if you know someone else that might be interested!
Thanks!
Sincerely,
[name redacted]
[organization name redacted]
[address redacted]
[address redacted]
[email address redacted]
Work: [phone number redacted]
Cell: [phone number redacted]


",1274,Available children,3/3/2010 14:54,268,5,1,Yes,,Yes 264,Adoptive parent,"I am sad to say that after nearly four years, my husband and I feel that we must find a new family for our 9 year old son. He is from Ethiopia, has RAD, but we strongly believe that he has the chance to heal with the right parents. We have recently placed his older sister with another family and were hoping that we'd be able to find the strength to do the necessary work to help him. We just feel it is best for him to start fresh with a new family and that it is his best chance. He has come a long way in four years, but we are totally stuck in a very negative place and not making progress.
He is 9, but more like 5 to 6 in his maturity, is not aggressive and does not sexually act out. He is going into the 3rd grade and had a very good school year last year. He does struggle socially with peers.
Please contact me privately if interested in learning more about him. We are looking for him to be adopted, not just for respite.
Thank you,
-- ~[name redacted] [website redacted]
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",4845,Re-homing needed for 9 year old boy,7/3/2012 0:00,269,9,1,Yes,,Yes 265,Adoptive parent,"Hello -
[name redacted] is our 12 year old blonde hair/blue eyed adopted son. He is an extremely bright young man with a lot of energy and a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, [name redacted] has never attached to us and has expressed his desire to find a new family. What's worse is that we have another son that [name redacted] does not get along with. Our sons are incapable of working on their issues individually because of their constant struggle living together. We are looking for a home for [name redacted]. We love him, but feel that this is the best option for our family. We live in Minnesota.
Thank you.
",4846,Looking for a new home for our 12 year old adopted son,7/4/2012 0:00,270,12,1,,, 266,,"[organization redacted] is seeking an immediate temporary placement for ten days for an 11-year old boy from the Philippines. Ideally, this placement would result in a permanent adoption but this is not required. [name redacted] is a bright and well-behaved boy who identifies as homosexual. It is imperative that the family be open and supportive of his identity. Detailed information is available for those who are seriously interested. Ideal candidate families are home study ready and have a five year church affiliation. Families who do not meet this requirement may contact [organization redacted] as well. Interested families should contact [name redacted] at[phone number redacted]as soon as possible.",4850,Temporary Home for Wonderful Boy Needed Immediately!,7/5/2012 0:00,271,11,1,Yes,, 267,Adoptive parent," A forever family is needed for a bright eight-year-old girl from Ethiopia
[name redacted] is an out-going, polite, eight-year-old girl from Ethiopia. She has been with our family for two-and-a-half years, but we have not attached. She has some behavioral and mood challenges but the overriding reason for our disruption is our lack of attachment. She is entering third grade, she likes to read, and she loves to sing and dance. [name redacted] has lots of energy and a great sense of humor. She relates well to her peers and does well at school and summer camp. [name redacted] loves to help others.
A successful family for her will be an experienced, two-parent family with lots of time to spend with her. She loves attention and would especially thrive in a very maternal, nurturing environment. She will be the only child or, ideally, the youngest of multiple siblings (the youngest by at least two years, so her next older sibling will be at least ten years old).
Please email me for more information: [email redacted]

",4872,8-yr-old girl from Ethiopia needs a forever family,7/9/2012 0:00,273,8,2,Yes,, 270,,[website redacted]

,5011,12 yr old boy [organization redacted],8/22/2012 0:00,275,12,1,,, 271,Adoptive parent,"We thought we were adopting a physical handicap child who needed a family. However, we found out that this child, now thirteen, is RAD, too (possibly a bit with psychosis). Because we have six other children, we would never ever considered adopting her if we had known this. The disability isn't too much of a problem (she can do most things for herself), but it is the RAD & psychosis that she deals with that is too much for our family. She is a lovely girl. She will charm the pants off of any adult, and because of her ability to do this, it is hard to get help for her (she has even fooled the family counselor of four years). She could win a Grammy for her acting. She knows how to behave in different social situations, a master of clever trickery and deceit. She hasn't harmed anything, and is quite agreeable, if you treat her with lots of attention. She is obsessed with control and attention. She wants to rule as king with everyone doing everything for her. She is so extreme in this way that we don't have the ability to care for our other children. When my seven year old had a fever of a hundred and four, this adopted child couldn't handle my attention on my other child and peed on the floor claiming it to be an accident she couldn't hold it. But, it was no little amount (a full morning dose of a quart of pee that the rugs were saturated and spilling over). A couple of hours later she threatened to do it again, until I caught onto her game. When I told her that she would clean it up next time, she immediately stopped. This behavior has been going on for over three years. My children are orphans in their own home because she demands my attention so much. She can cry at the drop of a hat (quite proud of it as she has bragged) and will say whatever she thinks will manipulate to get others to wait on her. She is very, very stubborn. Her psychosis condition might be that she really believes everyone is just wanting to wait on her because she is so special (a god in her own eyes, a king without a kingdom). Once we realized she had RAD life got a lot easier for us as a family because we had caught onto her games of domination and control, but it has been miserable for our relationship with her (rebellion, more manipulation,etc.) Honestly, we adopted her to help this child that we were promised didn't have RAD. We have six biological children,and they have been orphaned long enough. We are looking for an older couple that can serve as companion to her, since attachment isn't possible. She is a very pleasant girl for the most part. We just don't have the time for her issues with all the other children. We are at our witts end.
",5006,Looking for a kind hearted retired couple,8/9/2012 0:00,276,13,2,,,Yes 272,Non-agency facilitator,"Looking for a family to adopt an 8-year-old internationally adopted girl with mid-level reactive-attachment disorder. Family should have experience with RAD and up-to-date homestudy.
Thank you! You can contact me for contact info.

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",5027,Passing this on... Girl 8,9/20/2012 0:00,277,8,2,Yes,,Yes 273,Non-agency facilitator,"Family seeking ... 7 year old boy International adoption Attachment issues. More info provided... Contact me if interested. Must have current home study or can update.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
",5024,(No subject),9/17/2012 0:00,278,7,1,Yes,,Yes 274,Non-agency facilitator,"There is an 11-year-old young man adopted from Russia in January 2003 whose adoption is disrupting.
This child is diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and possibly early emergent bipolar. As a RAD kid, while he is not thriving in his current home setting with 11 other children, he has not had problems at school or in other settings. He works well in and desperately needs one-to-one situations. We believe he could succeed in a home with no other children.
This young man has potential and many talents: he is athletic, coordinated, energetic, loves the outdoors, loves fishing, loves dancing and singing, and also has a great sense of humor.

",5015,"Disrupting Adoption - if you know of an interested family, please contact me!",9/10/2012 0:00,279,11,1,Yes,,Yes 275,Adoptive parent,"We are in the process of making the hardest decision to disrupt our adoption. We have spoken to an attorney and we are looking for an agency or program to find families who are looking to adopt children form disruption.
Has anyone had experience with this? We are located in Wisconsin
",5017,Agencies,9/13/2012 0:00,280,,,,, 276,Adoptive parent,"I am not really sure where to start.... My husband and I have two bio sons and then adopted my youngest daughter when she was 11 mths old she is now 8. We love our family so much and wanted to help an older child find a family so off to China we went again and adopted an 8year old, who is now 13 years old. This daughter has been through tremendous change. Leaving the only place she called home after 8years and being sent with strangers to a place she understood nothing. She has been very up front from day one that she wanted to be an only child. I felt over time, she would grow to love having siblings. We are on our fith year with her and she is just not happy. She doesn't want her siblings near her....we have given her her own room so there was space between her and her 8 year old sister. She is now in my sons room and he sleeps on the sofa. She is doing great in school, she is in 6th grade due to putting her back a grade when she came for her to learn English. She is one of the strongest, brave, funny and intelligent girls I have ever met. We have tried for five years to get her to be included in our family. It breaks my heart that all I wanted for her was to belong to a big family and that was not her plan. She wants a Mom and Dad who put her first, who don't have to help others while she waits....I know this is egocentric but she deserves it! We just can't give her that without then feeling guilty on the other hand of all the time going to her while the other three sit. She is your typical teenage girl....but a bit of a Tom boy. Well, not sure what else to write....please give me some suggestions on what the best step is to find her a great home with parents who love her like we do! Thank you, [name redacted]
",5025,-(,9/18/2012 0:00,281,13,2,Yes,, 278,Adoptive parent,"I just joined this group last night and haven't even posted our story yet.
Nobody will ever be able to tell you what happened to YOUR daughter, but I can tell you why my family is considering disruption. My daughter is 6.5 and we've had her for 5,5, years. She has completely changed the dynamics of our marriage and our family, and NOT for the better. We have 3 bio kids and we've always been an unusually close and loving family. I was certain that we could love any child, blood related or not, and that any child would thrive in our family, especially with all the love it would receive. That has not happened. Since our daughter could talk, at age 2, she has told us that she wishes she was in a Chinese family. She's Chinese, we're all American. I had wanted to go back for another daughter from China but this one is so difficult and so hard to love that I can tell you with absolute CERTAINTY I will never do it again.
We didn't even realize what was going on until she was 3.5 almost 4. She constantly is pushing our buttons and I am her biggest target, which is the case for kids with attachment issues/disorder. She has intentionally peed in our house, pooped, hurts our animals, destructs our house. I have to have her in my sight every waking moment and it's exhausting. And I resent her. I have huge walls up at this time because I've been through so much in the past year caring for my ailing parents, who have both since died. I'm tired of always having a huge project in front of me and wonder how long I can continue to parent her. We've had wonderful periods, but I'm tired of the two steps forward, three steps back. I had NO idea raising an adopted child would be SO HARD.
So to answer your question, the peace and happiness of our family is now my focus. My entire world used to revolve around the needs of our adoptive daughter, and now my bio kids and husband are my ABSOLUTE PRIORITY. I had to do this to save my marriage and my family. My a-daughter is not happy about it.
[name redacted]
",831,birth mother looking to find help to understand adoption disuption,10/15/2009 7:46,282,6,2,Yes,, 100,,"There is a 6 year old girl listed on [organization name redacted]'s waiting child page for South Asia. She is in the USA now. Thought I would give anybody looking for a child a head's up...I don't know anything about this child, just saw the listing.
[website redacted]
[name redacted]
",1239,Disruption of 6 yr old girl,2/17/2010 7:49,283,6,2,Yes,, 284,Non-agency facilitator,"I found this young man on the [organization redacted] photolisting. He is from Ukraine and is listed as 13 years old.
[website redacted]
or if that won't work, go to [website redacted] click on meet the children and search.
Maybe this can help someone find their son, [name redacted]
",974,Photolisted disrupted boy in Florida/[name redacted] from Ukraine,11/14/2009 6:40,284,13,1,Yes,, 96,Adoptive parent,"Hi, We must, with great regret, find a new home for our son. He was adopted at 7 and disrupted to us at 8. He is diagnosed probably FASD, RAD, and borderline intelligence. We cannot keep our younger children safe with him in our home and he is very unhappy here. He should be going to a residential treatment facility soon but even his psychiatrist is encouraging us to disrupt for the safety of the rest of the family. [child's intial redacted] is a people oriented person with no social skills. He enjoys farm life but would also be happy in an urban environment. A single dad would probably be the ideal- he does not respond positively to taking direction from women. If there are other children in the home, they should be older. Dogs are fine, cats have been harmed. If you are interested in [child's initial redacted], please email me directly for more information. Thanks [poster's initial redacted] ",1091,12 yo boy needs a new home,1/25/2010 17:30,285,12,1,,,Yes 288,Adoptive parent,"We adopted our daughter from Liberia in August 2006. She is 9 years old according to her birth certificate. We believe she is older, maybe 1to2 years older. She has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We disrupted our adoption late last year and searched out a new family. We placed her where we thought she could continue on her with her healing only to find that the new family was not as prepared as we believed them to be. They have also dissolved their adoption and [initial redacted] will be back in our custody soon. She also developed Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis two years ago. We chose to treat each symptom from a natural perspective unsure of the effects drugs would have on her emotional state. We saw progress with a strict diet, exercise and counseling bi-weekly. The last family chose to address the Arthritis with a full medical regiment. She is defiant and manipulative. However while in respite and on a therapeutic/neuro reorganizational program, she became very manageable and came clean with what she had been doing in our home. Her arthritis symptoms tie in very closely with her emotions and her state of mind. Extreme stress can cause her to flare up as well as diet changes. She is a very beautiful girl. She loves to sing and has a very infectious smile. She is a nurturer and loves to help in the kitchen. A new family and a new start is what she needs. The family will need to be very versed in attachment issues and have in place a counselor who specializes in RAD children. Please contact me with a short bio if you are interested in more information. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]",4679,A new start,5/3/2012 12:13,286,9,2,Yes,,Yes 283,Non-agency facilitator,"This is a private matter if you wish to inquire you must email me privately. This is a 13 yr old young lady who needs a very very special family preferably with no other children her age especially girls. Too much competition. The family chosen must have understanding of the situation and be able to devote much time in building a parent role as in trust, security, rules and boundaries and then the love will come. I can explain thru conversation. I am only the middle person trying to help a family. I currently am doing respite for this child. She is precious and has many wonderful qualities, non violent, but needs much that was missed in her younger years. Acceptance is what she seeks, I am not confident that RAD is the factor but certainly there are always traits. Single parent/mom would be good as well.
Thank You and the adoptive family is asking for help in a desperate way before school resumes. If you live in Texas or close by this would also be wonderful. There is a sibling as well she is 10 but at this point the best path I've seen is that perhaps the children remain close but in separate homes. I can explain further upon communications.
Private emails only and you can provide to me your phone number.

[name redacted] [email redacted]


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",4814,13 yr old,6/5/2012 6:31,287,10,2,,, 281,Adoptive parent,For a 5 and 6 year old boy adopted from China. Looking for a home for the 6yr old with no children for his complete healing. Preferrably in the state of Michigan. Will not be placed together. Please only serious inquiries. I had poosted before with a lot of people not taking the no child home seriously and then some after days of conversations never even respond back. This is really hard for our family please respect that. But if you feel you might be the right family please contact us.
,4731,still looking for a family,5/25/2012 4:56,288,6,1,Yes,,